If I can't have everything well then just give me a taste
Ok, there will be absolutely no more feeling sorry for myself this week! We went out for dinner at Taco Bell tonight because I'm juggling three designs at once and Todd is studying for an MCSE 2000 exam on Friday (he already has an MCSE but his company is forcing everyone to upgrade). Neither one of us wanted to cook so we took a break. On the way home we stopped by our P.O. Box because I knew something was on the way. Turns out, it was a big envelope stuffed with these from Toren for work on his site. (Toren did the translations on these.) Todd was positively giddy as I opened them all.

Then I opened an envelope from drugstore.com. I screamed so loud in the car, a woman walking to her car next to ours jumped. There was a check for over FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS. That was commission on stuff I'd sold through my site. Now mind you, in over four years I've never made more than $125 a quarter -- and that was at Christmas. So to whoever bought 21 of these, I salute you (and your baby-soft legs)!

You may remember that this past weekend, our TV bit it. We've been having that ages-old battle of the sexes disagreement of electronics lust vs. checkbook balance ever since. Which leads me to...were we responsible late-20-somethings tonight that decided to put that check right into savings? Hell no. I handed Todd the gift from the heavens above, and said, "Get whatever you want. This is your limit. I'm out." We drove to Circuit City, and 30 minutes later, back home again with a 27" flat-screen Sony Wega. We only owed the taxes on it. Granted, now we have to get a new entertainment center this weekend because the case on this is bigger than the case on our old set, and by a few centimeters we are screwed. But that's not important. He's happy -- so I'm happy. Here are a few pics of the TV (and the futon since mom yelled at me for not having any):

So there you have it. Now back to work... It was nice knowing ya'll!
posted at 10:53 PM | link-

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Desperately seeking Sonic

This is in our county! This is not (and is almost an hour away) -- but the article states, "Sonic Drive-In and its franchisees plan to build as many as 60 of the nostalgic drive-in hamburger restaurants in the greater Tampa Bay region."

I am seriously about to throw a Cartman-sized hissy fit right now. "Buuuuuut mommmm -- I waaaaant a chili cheese coneeeeey and cherry li--iii--iime-aaade." We've been patient and good little Oklahomans (where the drive-in chain originated and is headquartered) for five years now. I'm tired of driving to Orlando and Ocala.

I want my own Sonic noooooow dammit!
posted at 06:03 PM | link-

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We'll have a good time baby don't you worry
I never, ever expect anything in return when I help friends out with their sites -- but being surprised out of the blue ROCKS. Joy sent me a big ol' Amazon gift certificate today and I got to go wild. I bought this, and this, and these. I'm so 'cited. Thank you, Joy!!!
posted at 05:11 PM | link-

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Have that bitch make me some blueberry pancakes
We are so screwed. All those times we broke Claire's bones in half when we got to the bottom of the bag because we didn't make it to the store on time... Turns out, she knows!

"...Dogs also know when they are being short-changed on treats because they have a basic mathematical ability which enables them to tell when one pile of objects is bigger than another..."

Read the full "Dogs are smarter than people think" article at CNN.
posted at 04:22 PM | link-

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Tilt your head back - let's finish the cup
And now a bit of "Wacky Wednesday" news of the weird...

"I want my blood back before you put a curse on me!" Holy crap, they were freaks.
Now you, too, can smell like Celine...but dear lord why?
As if we didn't have enough Crisco junkies in this country already -- now you can get fried Twinkies. I expect to see them on a stick at Disney World soon.
Syracuse University now offers a "Football 101" course for women. Hey baby, in this household I'm the one who came into the marriage as the football fan, mmmk? Soooomebody else *cough*Todd*cough* favored cycling back then.
Now you can get married by a real-life ZZ Top guitarist. Billy Gibbons has become an ordained minister, and can now perform weddings in 49 states.

And just because I care...from FARK.com...a list of known speed-traps across the United States.
posted at 02:25 AM | link-

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Glorious wastings of my time
Matt just sent me his ne=w=est skin design. Of course it gets my "you go bay-beee" seal of approval! (This ad brought to you by the "Rivers Cuomo With a Side of Mashed Taters and Punkin' Pie Foundation".)
posted at 02:15 AM | link-

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Happiness is...
...the first day of ripping into a really big new bag of gummi bears. When you can dig right past the icky yellow and green ones and go straight to the red and white without much effort. No psychoanalyzing needed as to why those are my favorite flavors. Cherry and pineapple merely rule. Thirty-one days left!
posted at 10:01 PM | link-

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Calling all code gurus
Last night, I updated MT 2.21 to the mySQL database option (using Kristine's most excellent tutorial). Upgrade was a snap and all went well.

Then I went to use MT Search on my site today and got a huge error message. No problem. Christine sent me a quick fix from the Scripty Goddesses. Only there was a problem. Suddenly MT Search worked again, but the search results were blank.

I was literally ripping my hair out trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. I even reinstalled MT Search all over again and got the same error. Then Kristine installed MT Search on The Red Kitchen to try and test things out on her end since we're on the same server. She now has the same problem I do. An MT blog with a mySQL database and blank search returns -- even after the MT Search "fix" is put into place. She's outlined the problem on the MT Support Forums if anyone wants to look it over. Thanks in advance if you can help!

UPDATE: Jennifer was able to help me fix it! I had the search.pm file for the version off the MT Search website . She had the search.pm file for 1.3b. Updated that file and it worked like a charm. THANK YOU Jennifer! And thanks for all of your help, too, Kristine!
posted at 05:29 PM | link-

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I'd like to turn off time and kill my mind
Remember no matter how tough things got in kindergarten, you had that little blue mat to spread out on and hear a really cool story from the teacher just before you drifted off to dreamland and recharged your batteries... Anyone got a 5'10" long little blue mat and a copy of "Where the Wild Things Are" handy?
posted at 04:56 PM | link-

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But if you lose, the devil gets your soul
Ok, when you see the headline "Heaven-or-hell argument ends with shotgun slaying", you can't help but be drawn in like a bad train-wreck. Oh wait, my bad. That story is here. Where was I? Oh yeah. Two guesses where this latest little fracas occured <dramatic pause>... That's right -- ~~my favorite state in the Union~~ -- Texas. And even better still, it was in GODLEY, TEXAS. This stuff just really writes itself, doesn't it? Stay with me here...

Johnson County Sheriff Bob Alford said a witness who was the designated driver for the group told police the four men were sitting at a table outside a trailer park after their night on the town and began arguing about religion.

The talk became heated when the subject turned to who would go to heaven and who would go to hell.

Stoker said he would settle the argument and went into a house and returned with a shotgun, which he loaded and placed in his mouth, Alford said the witness reported.

"The victim Joslin then took the gun out of Stoker's mouth, saying, 'If you have to shoot somebody, shoot me,"' Alford said, citing the witness report.

The shotgun went off, hitting Joslin in the chest and killing him.

No official word yet as to whether or not Joslin ended up at the Pearly Gates, or two-steppin' for all eternity in a pit of hot lava. (Read the full article at CNN.com.)
posted at 02:27 AM | link-

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We'll hitch-hike, bus, or yellow cab it
Joy went and bought herself the perfect new domain for "Happily Ever Laughter" -- so update your Blogrolls again!
posted at 01:52 AM | link-

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Third verse, same as the first!
Here's a great link stolen from my Destination Weddings & Eloping Forum -- VerseIt.com. They have tons of wording suggestions for things like thank you's, wedding invites, wedding announcements, baby announcements, holiday invites and more. You just pick the category, at the next prompt select the occasion, and voila! They even offer tips on how to pretty-up the announcements and invites once they're worded -- and how to address the envelopes and when to mail them.
posted at 08:53 PM | link-

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Once upon a dream
WM! has a new advertiser -- "Buy the Book!": The Ultimate Unofficial Guide to Tying the Knot or Renewing Your Vows at Walt Disney World. So if you know someone planning a Disney wedding, or happen to be planning one yourself, check it out. (A full table of contents is located here.)
posted at 08:41 PM | link-

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Double trouble
Ok, today was really crappy until I saw this photo. Now I can be a proud auntie and show off Victoria and Maggie! All better now!

posted at 08:23 PM | link-

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Sounds like somebody's gotta case of the Mondays

So this is how my Monday is going thus far thanks to the lovely folks at Microsoft... And you?
posted at 03:18 PM | link-

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I blog therefore I am
Just in case you haven't stumbled across Blogroots before, stop by and check it out! More excellent links relating to blogging than you can shake a mouse at.
posted at 04:30 AM | link-

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Now let me see you shake your rump like a rump shaker
Damn, people really will believe anything, won't they?

"Blind German psychic Ulf Buck claims that people's backsides display lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny."

Personally, I prefer to control someone's destiny with the palm of my hand... <insert rimshot here>

UPDATE: Susan says it much better than I ever could!
posted at 03:46 AM | link-

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I got a lust for life - ooooh
Well this should be interesting... Senator John McCain has signed on to guest host on the upcoming new Saturday Night Live season. He'll appear on the October 12th episode, the second in the SNL season. No word who will get the Dubbya role yet now that Will Ferrell is gone. (Article from MSNBC.com, "SNL beats the Bush".)
posted at 03:33 AM | link-

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Little pink houses for you and me
Christine followed the new trend of boredom = new domain and went and got herself fancy new digs at Big Pink Cookie. Update those links and Blogrolls -- and congrats on the new domain Christine!
posted at 01:19 PM | link-

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Another one bytes the dust
Finished up my latest creation, DB's Medical Rants, just a bit ago. Not a second too soon, either. It's been one helluva expensive night. We bought a new futon for the computer room for upcoming houseguests -- only to get it assembled and see our living room 27" TV (wedding present) have its picture reduced to about 4" in height. So guess what we get to do tomorrow... I really think you should be able to register for wedding gifts every five years. The old shit just wears out too fast these days. So anyhoo, stop by DB's new digs, won't ya'? And hire me for crimeny's sake. Momma needs a new pair of shoes...and OU season tickets...
posted at 04:29 AM | link-

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Oh no - you're invited but your friend can't come
May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the best hooters on the 'net please stand up? I repeat, will the best hooters on the 'net please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here...

May I turn your attentions towards Michele's blog where the best cleavage of the blogging world will be competing as part of the 2002 Blogathon all day long.
posted at 02:05 PM | link-

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This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!
Note to self: Keep sex toys at home when flying Delta from here

CLEARWATER, Florida (AP) -- A woman who says she was pulled off an airplane and asked to take a sex toy out of her luggage after it started vibrating is suing Delta Air Lines, saying she was publicly humiliated.

Renee Koutsouradis, 36, said she was with her husband awaiting takeoff from Dallas in February when her name was called over the loudspeaker.

She said she was met by a Delta security agent who told her something was vibrating in one of her bags. She said she explained it was an adult toy that she and her husband had just bought on a trip to Las Vegas. She said the agent took her to the bag on the tarmac and made her remove the toy and hold it up, according to the lawsuit filed Wednesday. Some passengers on the plane saw everything, and three male Delta employees "began laughing hysterically" and made "obnoxious and sexually harassing comments."

Koutsouradis was allowed to repack and return to her seat. (Read full article at CNN.com.)
posted at 04:17 AM | link-

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For the guy who has everything
When the birthday boy gets to unwrap Gretchen at the end of the night, he's pretty much got everything a man could ever need right there in front of him...so what's a girl to do? I searched the 'net far and wide for just the right card. This one seemed a little lame. This one was right out (and would probably be good cause for a restraining order). This one hit a little closer to the mark...but I felt the need to keep looking... And this one would probably get the both of us in trouble if he collected. So instead, I just made my own! Happy 29th birthday Chris (spankings optional)!

posted at 12:08 AM | link-

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To the heart, tick tock you don't stop
Ok, this one caused a very big giggle...wouldn't it be amusing if I ended up being the one in the family on Viagra one day? I have Neurally Mediated Hypotension. CNN.com has a new article titled "Surprise! Viagra helps children with pulmonary hypertension"! Little. Blue. (Slightly) diifferent (diagnoses). I'll ask my doctor...
posted at 06:19 PM | link-

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On the cover of the Rolling Stone
And a few reads for your Thursday "it's not Friday yet, waaah!" viewing pleasure:

Thought Puddles - maybe this will help cheer 'er up!
Pizza Dreams - someone that loves Rita's as much as I do
Have a cuppa? - same blog time, same blog channel
kellycaldwell.com - why wasn't I reading this blog before now?

BONUS: Do us all a favor and go read Hormonal Bitch if you're not already. That new Liz Taylor skin is to die for!

Still have time to kill? (And if so, I hate you. No, really.) Well here are a few more from last month...
posted at 04:50 AM | link-

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Get back to where you once belonged
FARK.com challenged their readers to a 404-error contest. Some of the submissions are most amusing!
posted at 04:18 AM | link-

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Not yet a woman - brought to you by Botox
Oh please, please tell me there may be some hope for America's youth after all... A new crop of young female singer-songwriters is challenging the notion that you have to bare your navel and cavort in tight clothes to be sexy and successful in pop music. (Article from MSNBC.com.)

But then again, there will never be hope for Hollywood... Seems HBO digitally alters closeups of the faces of “Sex and the City” stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Kim Cattrall and Cynthia Nixon “to make them look younger and better.” (Article also from MSNBC.com.)

Or perhaps I spoke too soon about all hope being lost... The Coen Brothers are jumping into the big-screen musical genre again with “Romance and Cigarettes,” a musical written by John Turturro. (One last shameless link snagged from MSNBC.com.)
posted at 03:57 AM | link-

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This used to be my playground
I just did a quick look-see over my entries from the last couple of weeks, and I noticed very little of the content has been about "me". I'm not quite sure why that is -- other than I seem to meet myself sitting down and getting back up out of this computer chair most days. Todd has pretty much taken over my iBook, as I do most of my design work on his PC (better video card and better version of Photoshop). Sigh.

I really envy him being able to punch out at 5:30 each day. When he turns that computer off, his work e-mail program shuts down with it. I don't have that luxury. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not complaining about the many benefits of "working from home". And I'm definitely not complaining about finally having work to do from home. It's just been really hard for me to find that balance of when to work and when to play when not staring at set 9-5 schedule. And also when to be a wife, and when to make the checkbook seem not so emtpy...

We're starting on a big joint-project tonight that I'm not yet at liberty to discuss (and no, for the 1,000,000th time this is also not baby related). That's going to be an even bigger drain on the little "free" time I already have. It's something I'm very excited about. I'm just trying to figure out what is going to give in its place.

I guess there's also a bit of guilt over wanting to do stuff for others, and finding myself in the position for the first time in six years of having to say "no" or "could you please ask _____ instead". I'm not used to telling people no. It's just not in my nature. Even Todd is paying the price. He's had an image he'd like made into a design for a couple of weeks now, in addition to skinning his site, and I just haven't had the time. What used to be "play" for me is now anything but... I don't want to "work" when I'm not working. It would be like me asking him to call customers after dinner if he wouldn't mind. Don't get me wrong -- he definitely understands and isn't complaining in the slightest. I just feel bad having to put him off, too.

So I guess what I'm saying is: If I still owe you e-mail, I'm sorry. If I've had to tell you "no" recently, I'm sorry. If you're stupid enough to elect this man for a second term, well, I'm not sorry. You're a moron. You shall now return to your regularly scheduled hooters...
posted at 07:50 PM | link-

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Two tacos shy of a fiesta platter
E-mail I just received (full name withheld to protect the stupid):

From: fred
Date: Wed 7/24/2002 6:17 PM
Subject:
why do chicks make so big a thing about being married? You are. that is that. so what? Is it like putting up a stuffed animal on your smoking room wall? Look what I shot and brought home? blog on, and lots of luck.

My full reply? "Uhhhhh...alrighty then!" Thank you, drive thru.

posted at 06:12 PM | link-

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Funky Cold Medina
Apparently we've been going to the wrong bars... (Link not safe for work! Also picked up from FARK.)
posted at 05:10 PM | link-

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The battle of who could care less
Remember when I complained about having to use handicapped parking here in Florida while under constant attack? Well just to prove that I wasn't exaggerating:

SPRING HILL, Fla. — An argument between two handicapped men over a hospital parking space escalated when one man whipped out a sword, prompting the other to pull out a 9mm handgun. (Read full article at CourtTV.com.)

It's no wonder FARK.com gave Florida its own icon...
posted at 04:59 PM | link-

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Deliver the letter, the sooner the better
This week the "Today Throws a Wedding" choices are kinda lame -- pick the invitations. I went with choice #3 because they were designed to match the bridesmaids gowns (which I also selected). Besides, square envelopes need more postage. And I always say to stick it to 'em since they're footing the bill. I realize you can only do so much with a piece of paper -- but the invitations they offered up last year and the year before that were much better!
posted at 04:14 PM | link-

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'Cuz I can't be your Superman...
Remember when the news broke about the upcoming "Batman vs. Superman" movie not too long ago? Michele even set up a casting couch and one of the names feared both by me, and her site visitors, was Matt Damon. Looks like for good reason. Here's the short list from an article in Entertainment Weekly:

Matt Damon, Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, James Franco, Jude Law, and Paul Walker

It's funny Colin Farrell's name was mentioned -- because that was actually one of my suggestions to Todd (after seeing "Minority Report"). He blew me off at the time saying Colin was too short, and instead offered up Brendan Fraser's name. Yes, my eyes physically rolled into the back of my head. But I'd much rather see Colin cast in one of the roles, vertically challenged or not, than Matt Damon and/or Johnny Depp. At least we can all thank our lucky stars that the idea of Nicolas Cage as Superman was scrapped...for good... I wish Hollywood passed out the crack they're smoking more often!

To quote Eminem, "Superman ain't savin' shit."
posted at 04:28 AM | link-

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Goddess on a mountain top
The Scripty Goddesses have done it again! Kristine has written up a most-excellent tutorial on getting MySQL ready to store your Movable Type database in the new MT Version 2.2 and above. I had no clue where to even begin. Now I do. Thanks Kristine!
posted at 03:07 AM | link-

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Meeeeow!
“I was at a Versace party a couple of weeks ago and Madonna walked in,” Boy George said. “She had sunglasses on, and there was no motion in her face whatsoever. I prefer to grow old gracefully. I’m 41, I’ve got great skin, I don’t need it!”

When called for comment, Madonna’s spokeswoman shot back: “It sure doesn’t sound like he’s growing old all that gracefully.”

So what strikes you as the most funny here? The SNL commercial-parody of Botox. Madonna unable to move her eyebrows. Or the thought of Boy George growing old "gracefully". Hmmmm?

And in "oh how they fall" news..... Britney Spears can't even come up with her own break-up songs about her split with Justin Timberlake, despite her claims. She has to steal Enrique Iglesias’ instead. Meg Ryan is going to star in “In the Cut” -- based on the Susanna Moore novel that deals with murder, sadism and anal sex. “Meg hasn’t been that well received in her last few roles,” says one Hollywood insider. “She must really be looking to reposition herself.” (Reposition herself? Anal sex? No pun intended of course.) And Carmen Electra will be heading up the burlesque cabaret show “Pussycat Dolls” for the VIP Club’s grand opening for BetOnSports in Costa Rica on Aug. 24th. Somehow, I don't smell a Tony for this production.

This, and more, gossip from MSNBC.com's "The Scoop".
posted at 06:05 PM | link-

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Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam!

Note to spammers: If you want someone to pay for your product or service, it's best to not blind them before they even get to the "visit our site / pay us here" information. Thank you. Buh-bye now. Please take your lovely parting gifts and a year's supply of Turtle Wax...
posted at 04:16 PM | link-

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Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!
You know all those "E! Rank Surveys"? Well thankfully they've moved away from abs and down to the funnybone for this one. Their new list countdowns the 25 Funniest People. I don't agree with all the ranking orders, but there were only a couple (Lisa Kudrow, Ray Romano) that I thought completely missed the mark. They may be funny...just not "top 25 material" in my not-so-humble l'il opinion.
posted at 04:43 AM | link-

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Let your soul Glow
Here's the new ad for J-Lo's "Glow" perfume (click the image at the site for a larger pop-up). "A carefully-placed arm covers her modesty as the only clothing she sports is a trendy headscarf." And check out that incredibly shrinking waistline. Someone has a few Photoshop gurus on her team that I'd like to have on mine...
posted at 04:24 AM | link-

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Runaround Sue
I just got TrackBack working over at Sue's Bloggy Blog -- go give 'er some sugah! She needs it today.
posted at 03:32 AM | link-

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Does this floss make my butt look big?
WARNING: Links not safe for work! Just spotted over at Mikey's -- the girls of "Big Brother 3". Ok, 10:1 odds that CBS purposely stacked the house with strippers for this ratings go-'round. I mean, c'mon. I lived on an all-girl's floor in the OU dorms. We never, ever paraded around like the girls in these pics.

Yes, yes...I know... I'm ruining many of your fantasies -- much like what happened to Barry in "Road Trip". But I think the ladies out there can back me up on this one. Or maybe those are the girls in the "little hottie" commercial?
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What's your definition of dirty, baby?
Some of you may have noticed a new surprise tonight...and that's all I'm sayin'... <evil grin>
posted at 11:48 PM | link-

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An Apple a day keeps Ctrl+Alt+Delete away
Christine went off about the new series of Apple ads today, so I wanted to share this one that Todd found featuring Will Ferrell (must have QuickTime 6 to view). It's from the MacWorld Expo NY 2002. Spew warning ahead!
posted at 10:48 PM | link-

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It's an institute you can't disparage
"Matrimonial lore says husbands never remember marital spats and wives never forget. A new study suggests a reason: Women’s brains are wired both to feel and to recall emotions more keenly than the brains of men."

Poor Todd doesn't stand a chance when it comes to fights based on memory. Read the full article at MSNBC.com.
posted at 06:55 PM | link-

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Can't sleep - clowns will eat me
Ok, this guy's theory seriously had the opposite effect on me! I think I'm more afraid of him than death now...

And normally kitten photos make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But this is hardly an "awwwww" snapshot when you realize what you're looking at. It's just so, so very wrong. What do you do in a case like that? They obviously won't be normal adult cats. Poor little babies!
posted at 06:34 AM | link-

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Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside
I give you...last night in all its glory... Can someone please pass the Advil?

(Update: Stacy has her pics up online now as well!)
posted at 05:56 PM | link-

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Girls on film
Well we're just getting back from Lakeland at near-dawn. We had a fabulous time! As always Stacy and Dan were incredible hosts! We were also joined by Caitlin and Annessa. We'll have more photos ~~tomorrow~~ today after we've had sleep -- but here are a couple to prove we'll never, ever be able to run for public office. (photo 1, photo 2) Hope everyone had a great weekend!
posted at 06:15 AM | link-

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Saturday night's alright for fightin'
Found via Gretchen who found it via Promo...a brilliant piece of work titled "Die Comment Trolls, Die"! Happy weekend everyone!
posted at 03:34 AM | link-

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Everything I would like to be
E-mail exchange between Stacy and myself today...

Robyn: Ok, I just can't sing "Wind Beneath My Wings"...but you are. ;-) Or better yet, the tequila in my margarita...

Stacy: The lime in the coconut? :P

Robyn: Wait, who's the lime and who's the coconut? *glances down at boobies* Oh, nevermind. ;-)

Stacy: BAHAHAHAHA!!!! We just bought the nosh for tomorrow night...YUMYUMYUM!!!

Ohhhhh yeahhhh...this is gonna be a fun weekend!
posted at 04:51 PM | link-

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