« Previous | Ain't too proud to blog | mail it | Next »


Posted: 07.10.2002
867-5309
These wankers are about to understand what the phrase "going medieval on your ass" is all about. They call here AT LEAST three times a day between the hours of 7 a.m. and 9 p.m. I quit bothering to answer after taking the first call. Well it wasn't the first call -- just the first call we answered after 20 or so calls and a game of "I don't want to see who they are, you see who they are", in which I caved and picked up. They want to sell me AT&T service. I want to eat their young with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Yes, I've asked to be put on their "do not call" list. But you have to wait at least 30 days before you can do anything about it. Telemarket me? Fine. I'll ignore you. Stalk me? Be prepared to see my dark side beeyatch.



Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...



this is why I only have a cell phone (allright, I have a regular phone too, but just for 911 purposes) and why I don't have vm or an answering machine. They only call during the day, which hello, is when majority of the people work (I'm sorry you gotta put up w/ that shit Robyn, I'd go nuts listening to the phone give that "telemarketer ring" all day). I figure, they'll realize that there is no one on the other end of the line.

My favorite lines are ones from Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams calls Sally Fields repeatedly with psycho impressions of potential babysitters.

¤ ¤ credit: statia | 07.10.02 at 06:58 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

And when your dark side surfaces, we'd all appreciate a transcript of the conversation with the wankers! ;)

¤ ¤ credit: Kelly | 07.10.02 at 08:44 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Oh, btw - in our house, this is my husband's battle. He is the chosen warrior when we are being stalked by telemarketers. To quote him, "I'm not satisfied until I've made someone cry."

May the force be with you!

¤ ¤ credit: Kelly | 07.10.02 at 08:45 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Well, keep up with the PUT THIS NAME AND NUMBER ON YOUR DO NOT CALL LIST defense. It does work over time.

You could always try the Free TeleZapper do-it-yourself method of telemarketer screening.

-jca

¤ ¤ credit: jca | 07.10.02 at 08:46 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Haha, the psycho babysitters from Mrs. Doubtfire are great!!

As for the telemarketers, a recent issue of Wired had an article about sending letters to several of the major consumer database companies and requesting that they remove all data about you. Of course, I don't know how effective that would be. (And I can't seem to find the article now; odd.)

¤ ¤ credit: ste | 07.10.02 at 08:47 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I used to hate telemarketers too, but now the chance to taunt them is just too much fun. My favourite is always:

CALLER: "Are Mr. or Mrs. Jessup there?"
RICK: "One of'em is."
CALLER: "Is this Mr. Jessup?"
RICK: "Excellent guess."
CALLER: "I'm phoning from---"
RICK: "Oh, Mr. Jessup doesn't want any of that."
CALLER: "What about Mrs. Jessup?"
RICK: "I told you, she's not home."
CALLER: "What about Mr. Jessup?"
RICK: "Oh, he hung up on you."
*click*

:)

-R.

¤ ¤ credit: Rick | 07.10.02 at 08:49 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'd have to say that making telemarketers cry is a little harsh. Many of them are just college students trying to pay their way through college and telemarketing companies are willing to pay more than the local retail store. In my case, I prefer humor to ward them off - it's fun to answer with fake locations or fake accents and go from there. Take every call as a lucky opportunity to practice your stand-up act ;) Just think of it as "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" without Ryan Stiles or Colin Mockery ;)

¤ ¤ credit: ste | 07.10.02 at 08:51 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

We'd thought about the telezapper actually, but we already pay for the service where telemarketers are *supposed* to be routed to a pass/fail special ring system we have -- where we can choose whether or not to take the call or have it sent to voicemail without the caller ever knowing whether or not we're even home (they have to leave a small voice prompt before being routed either way). This company seems to have beat that system with their name though -- so our monthly fee is worthless with them.

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 07.10.02 at 09:02 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

We pay for the same service with the phone company, but some telemarketers manage to get around it here as well. That makes it extremely annoying -- they are aware you are paying NOT to get calls, but they find a way to bypass it. argghhhh

¤ ¤ credit: Kelly | 07.10.02 at 09:17 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

i was a telemarketer for three months.

it sucked. i sold who's who books to 'professionals'. once i called a playwright in new york city named edward albee. he had the greatest answering machine message. finally, he picked up one day and i lost my composure and went, "mr. albee! hi!" and he went medieval on my ass, yelling at me and telling me what a lame-o i was for having such a stupid job. he mentioned that i was probably uneducated and stupid, as well.

¤ ¤ credit: ericalynn | 07.10.02 at 09:37 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Or you could say HOLD ON PLEASE.
http://tinyurl.com/mh9

¤ ¤ credit: mas | 07.11.02 at 12:49 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I was going to say the "hold on please" and walk away from the phone until you here the beep beep beep :) Or use my darling's solution - he lets them do their spiel - when they pause for a response he very solemnly asks "What are you wearing?"
They hang up after that!

¤ ¤ credit: *L* | 07.11.02 at 02:03 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I think my solution saves everyone a lot of time and is probably the most civil. When they call here, I intterupt and say "thank you, I'm not interested," then hang up. Without waiting for a response. Failing that, there's some interesting stuff at http://antitelemarketer.com/ .

¤ ¤ credit: John | 07.11.02 at 05:51 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

John, my problem is not getting them off the phone -- but rather the fact they are literally calling three times a day or more. That means my phone is ringing four rings to go to voicemail at least 15 times during any given work-week. That is completely unacceptable from ONE company. I shouldn't have to turn my phone off because they have beaten the system (my anti-telemarketing service from GTE) and won't leave us alone.

Thanks for the link though! And btw, without asking to be put on their "do not call" list first -- you are just opening yourself up to more in the same in the future. By the law, you just meant you weren't interested at the moment they called. They have free reign to call back in 15 minutes and see if you're interested then...

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 07.11.02 at 05:56 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

All these "No thank you" and "Hold Please" talk does nothing to curb your telemarketing woes. Stop doing that!

"PUT THIS NUMBER ON YOUR DO NOT CALL LIST" is the only effective thing to say.

Believe me, I've looked into this. The thing I hate most in life is SPAM, the second: Telemarketing. (Which I call "Telephone Spam" after I slam the phone down. :)

In 2003 California will (finally) be adopting a state-wide do not call list, which we of course, have to pay to be on. Only in America must we pay to stop being annoyed by things.

Anyway, you should check your local state laws, as many already have (sometimes free) DO NOT CALL lists you can put yourself on, which does help. This site can tell you about your state:

http://www.the-dma.org/government/donotcalllists.shtml

Something these programs do not counteract is automated phone telemarketing (a recording) - which, by law, are illegal, just like junk faxes and spam. Unfortunately, it's gotten very bad in CA lately. (90% of the Telephone Spam I get is recorded.)

The only way to get around the recording is the (Free) TeleZapper method, and/or listening to the recording, obtaining info on whomever made the call (usually by "press 1 to talk to our operators"), and sue them in small claims court. Not many people go to that trouble...

¤ ¤ credit: jca | 07.11.02 at 06:56 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Ooooh, I got this last night... 'accidental death cover', from only £6 a week. Yuck. What's worse is that our 'do not call' lists are very difficult to get at. :(

¤ ¤ credit: Tina | 07.11.02 at 07:54 AM | link--this ¤ ¤


I get telemarketers off my phone by interrupting them and telling them the truth -- "Excuse me, but we're eating dinner here." "Pardon me, I'm working.", etc.

Then I tell them to take me off their lists.

Could be fun to make stuff up - "Can you call back later, I'm trying to hide the bodies." or "Excuse me, but I'm trying to get to third base with this chick." I'll have to remember that, but I'm not good under pressure.

¤ ¤ credit: Cody | 07.11.02 at 02:04 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

If the caller ID says "unknown" or "out-of-area", we don't usually answer. Of course, that defeats the purpose of getting them to stop. Our phone rings constantly from these companies. It is so irritating, so I totally understand your pain.

The tips here are great, btw.

¤ ¤ credit: Christi | 07.11.02 at 09:33 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Well... I used to telemarket. When someone was mean to me, I wrote down their number passed it out to the fellow telemarketers, and well all called them constantly. Granted, our phones were not auto-dial... Some people would even *67 and called them from home all night long. Be nice to the telemarketers, they are the devil. EV-IL!

¤ ¤ credit: Jen | 07.12.02 at 03:34 PM | link--this ¤ ¤




URLs that have pinged me for this entry:



All old ping links have been removed from this blog. Die spammers, die!




Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me through my world?


Psssssst...pass it on!
email this entry to:


your email address:


additional message (optional):