Since 1892
This one goes out to displaced Oklahomans everywhere. It just wouldn't be Christmas without it!

From last year: You may be going "huh?" if you didn't grow up in Oklahoma, but to anyone that's ever lived there, the song is a holiday-staple that you know all the words to...so go ahead and sing along with us now...

Jewelry is the gift to give, 'cuz it's the gift that'll live and live; so give the gift you know can't fail from B.C. Clark's anniversary sale. Most sales are after Christmas, but Clark's is just before. Most everything is marked way down; savings you can't ignore.....at.....Oklahoma's oldest jeweler, since 1892. So gift the gift you know can't fail from B.C. Clark's anniversary sale!

God bless us, everyone. Now it's Christmas, and I miss home.
posted at 03:49 AM | link-

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Oh fortune - how you mock me
So we discovered today that one of these is five days away from opening -- less than 10 minutes away from where Todd works (and less than 15 minutes away from our old apartment down in St. Pete). Keep in mind that since we've moved to our home in the 'burbs, Todd has an hour-commute each way. It's close to him -- but not to me.

He's been informed it would be wiser to come home with lipstick on his collar than chili. That there is grounds for a quickie-divorce!
posted at 05:59 PM | link-

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G'day and welcome to day 12
Pixel Sphinx presents..."The 12 Days of Blogging"! Bust open the marshmallows. It's time for a campfire sing-a-long!
posted at 04:48 PM | link-

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I always feel like somebody's watching me

I have arrived! I now officially have my very own anti-button. Just in time for the holidays...it's "I Wanna Be Stalked By Robyn"! I'm available for Christmas and New Years parties, birthday parties, wedding receptions, and bar and bat mitzvahs. So book now -- book early! I'll be more than happy to show up with bells on and read all of your deleted blog entries and comments back to you and your guests. Just watch the hillarity ensue. And if you act now, we'll even throw in a little Dick free of charge!

The New York Times raves: "I loved it. It was better than Cats. I plan to see it again and again."

I've got a stalker. He's got a stalker. She's got a stalker. We've all got stalkers. Wouldn't you like to have a stalker, too?
posted at 04:10 PM | link-

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I ate a sammich today
I'm happy to announce that tampatantrum.com is now an official member of NO WHEATON. Ain't too proud to blog...proudly losing to Wil Wheaton in the Bloggies since 2002.
posted at 03:29 PM | link-

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If my husband made greeting cards...

posted at 04:25 AM | link-

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Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
After this, it's time to link to a new blogger donation drive with meaning! ThymeWise is running an "Operation Santa Claus" project. They are sponsoring five letters sent to Santa and adopting a 1st grade class this year. So far they've raised almost $350. Let's see if we can't raise that up a bit, shall we? I would donate right this second but PayPal is down for maintenance. But don't forget to come back to this tomorrow and give a little if you can -- or a lot of of support and linkage if you can't. The deadline is Saturday, 8pm EST. Every bit counts!
posted at 03:24 AM | link-

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Seen so much I'm goin blind and I'm brain-dead virtually
Severe designer's block. Who wants to be my muse? Now taking applications... Uniform optional.
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East coast? West coast? It don't mattah...
Another fine link from Kathy (who should be blogging, ahem)... You've probably heard the sound file, but now it's animated -- "Ghetto Airlines". Three guesses who I thought of first?
posted at 01:23 AM | link-

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I try to keep her on a short leash
Random facts about me: Most people who know me in real life (offline) tend to describe me as one of the nicest individuals they've ever met. Which is all well and good. But thankfully most people never see my mean, vindictive streak that runs about as deep and wide as the Grand Canyon. If you cross me. If you attempt to publicly humilate me. And especially if you call me a whore. Well the fire and brimstone that rained down on Sodom and Gomorrah is gonna seem like a cakewalk at the county fair. I will have you saying my name bitch for each and every single day of the rest of your pathetic little life. And if you even think you're getting a link out of all of this to your "good cop" site (everyone's already seen the "bad cop" one), well then you're sadly mistaken. Even if you try and call me out by linking to mine. You crossed the wrong blonde. Just so we're crystal on that...

I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch
Oh, the bitch is back
Stone cold sober as a matter of fact
I can bitch, I can bitch
'Cause I'm better than you
It's the way that I move
The things that I do

I entertain by picking brains
Sell my soul
By dropping names
I don't like those!
My God, what's that!
Oh, it's full of nasty habits
When the bitch gets back.

Happy holidays! I know I'm enjoying mine now...
Love,
The Princess of the Blogiverse™
posted at 06:50 PM | link-

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Grown-up Christmas List
This post reminded me of one of my favorite Christmas songs:

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies
Well I'm all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my still my heart can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself, but for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven surely knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown-up Christmas List...

-Amy Grant
posted at 05:54 PM | link-

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How much for just one rib?
My hubby just passed this link along...the Boobie-Thon just wasn't good enough to make it on CNN's new "Cyberbegging" article. If only we'd thought to ask y'all to help us save our manicures, too! Perhaps then? A lot of you complained they were always in the way as it was...
posted at 03:55 PM | link-

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There's a time and a place for that - and it's called college
This has been a problem since long before we were both in school, and I'm sad to say that we both fell victim to the trap back then. The average credit card balance for a college undergrad is now $3,066 according to CNN. At George Mason University, 77.4% of students have credit cards, 73.4% have maxed them out, and 66% have used one card to pay off another. Another study found that "21% of students who applied for a credit-based loan from Nellie Mae in the summer and fall of 2001 had credit card balances ranging between $3,000 and $7,000".

Do I blame the credit card companies? Heck yeah. But I also blame the skyrocketing cost of tuition and housing. Credit cards, in a sense, are an extention of your student loans. Sure needless purchases are made with them. But sometimes given the choice of ramen, or a burger, you want to take the burger. It's just figuring out how to pay for it 3 years later that gets to be the real problem.
posted at 03:06 PM | link-

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I really do believe in you

So it looks like a vicar in merry ol' England is in deep reindeer caca with a lot of parents. He joked in a carol service sermon that "Santa and his reindeer would burn up doing 3,000 times the speed of sound as they delivered gifts to 91.8 million homes". He also pointed out that it was "logically impossible for one man and his sleigh to deliver 378 million presents in just 31 hours". Parents, of course, are outraged because they were not given the option of calmly explaining it to their children in their own way with their own timing.

I believed in Santa 'til a fairly late age. I was in the third grade, and always the arguer (shocking, I know, considering this was also the grade I busted open a classmates nose) -- I got into it with a couple of girls regarding his existance. I remember firmly placing my hands on my hips and stating, "Well Gary England (Oklahoma shout-out) tracks his sleigh with his radar on the news and if Santa didn't exist he couldn't do that!" At this point, my teacher Mrs. Botkin came up behind us all to see what was going on. And then, the words that crushed my soul -- FROM MY TEACHER -- "I can't believe you still think Santa is real at your age." I went home that afternoon livid at my mother.

I told my mom what my teacher had said and confronted her with it. And being just a little too smart for my own good, I also blurted out, "Well I bet the Easter bunny and tooth fairy aren't real either, are they?" At this point, I marched my stubborn self down the hall and slammed the door -- vowing to never lie to my own children about this man called Santa. (Obviously, if given the chance, now I would love to have a little one to place upon his knee.) My mom went to talk to my teacher about it the next day, but by then the damage was done -- and a little bit of Christmas died that day. I can't believe a vicar would dash an entire congregation full of innocent hopes and dreams like that though. What was he thinking?

So how old were you when you quit believing in Santa? Got a story behind the reasons why? And if you still believe in him -- what's the one thing on your list that you're hoping he'll bring you this year -- something no one else could possibly know about but Kris Kringle himself?
posted at 04:51 AM | link-

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Who are you? Who who who who?
Just spotted over at FARK..."Who the Hell Are You?" Ever had someone jump in a photograph and you didn't know what in the hell they were doing there later? Go see if you can spot your friends in any of the photos here and publicly humiliate them, well, some more.
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And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight...
Me (under my breath): I'm sick of cards, and presents, and wrapping, and thank you notes, and envelopes, and tape, and boxes, and mailing labels, and package stuffing, and...
Him (all cheery): Just do what I do and go to bed.
Me (not so cheery): Fuuuuuuuuuuck you.

Ok, so the Cleavers we ain't... But I don't think men realize just how lucky they are when they have a wife to do it all for them. The shopping. The wrapping. The packing. The Christmas cards. And when they don't have a wife, no one thinks a thing of 'em slacking because they're men. I want the last three days of my life back. I need a vacation. Bah humbug to all. And to all a good night.
posted at 11:19 PM | link-

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You mean you forgot cranberries too?
I just finished wrapping all of the presents we'll be shipping from home this year (everything else was bought online) -- so here are a couple of presents from me to you:

[Click to view the song lyrics]
Right-click the image (or this link) to save...

[Click to view the song lyrics]
Right-click the image (or this link) to save...

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Couldn't miss this one this year...
posted at 07:29 PM | link-

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Only a memory
I gave Todd a gift in 1995, right after we got engaged, that we still exchange to this day. It's something you can all make by hand, it's inexpensive, and it will become one of your favorite parts of the holiday season. You don't have to be a newlywed to enjoy it -- but here's my Newlywed Gift Exchange (page 1, page 2).
posted at 05:52 PM | link-

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I just want to be her ornament
I have a new wallpaper selection down in the sidebar. It's of my favorite Christmas ornament -- "The Divine Miss Piggy". That was the first thing hung on our Christmas tree every year when I was growing up, and my mom passed it down to me when I moved out on my own. I've also included another version of it, and two other Lady and Tramp Christmas ornament selections just for Claire, below! Click for the pop-up (1024x768), right-click, and save...

posted at 04:11 PM | link-

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The best things in life are free
Another good online coupon directory that I just discovered for your last-minute shopping -- currentcodes.com. I have one more purchase to make and then I'm DONE this year. Whoo!

I think this is a really cool last-minute idea in the $15-and-under category (and you get a set of eight). If you use code "HW2C2" by midnight tonight (December 11th) shipping will be free!

UPDATE: Christine brought Sudsalicious back to life. Check it out!
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Disco...disco duck
This comment reminded me of one of the first .wav joke files I ever heard on the 'net. It had to have been from 1996 or early 1997. I thought it was so freakin' funny at the time, that I almost needed one of these t-shirts. So for your listening pleasure...in case you haven't heard it before...enjoy!
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Our house, in the middle of our street
Thanks to Mikey for the heads-up -- our blogger Sims house is together and kickin'. Surprise, surprise, I was the first one to blog. And of course, I ended up in the hot tub. Follow the action here -- we're in Hot Tubs O Fun!
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How lovely are your branches

Just submitted to the new Tree Blog -- our 2002 Christmas tree.
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Now that is customer service!
Reason #4,372 why I've watched too much "Beavis and Butthead": I had to struggle to keep a straight face when the nice FedEx guy (at least in his late 50s) handed me his clipboard, pen, and instructed, "Here. Right under the Johnson."
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O Christmas tree - blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Coming soon...the (Christmas) tree blog! Submit photos of your Christmas tree to Jen here.

UPDATE: The Tree Blog is live. I'll be adding our photo soon!
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Follow the ~~yellow brick road~~ big, fat blue line
Everyone knows that I make fun of Texas all the time, but I'm not above poking a little fun at my homestate every now and again either. This whole ordeal is going on just a few blocks away from Todd's brother's house. One slight problem though. Todd is colorblind to certain blues and greens. I guess it's a good thing we live in Tampa Bay now or he wouldn't know where to eat and shop! Oh well...at least we're not from Arkansas...
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You treat me like I'm a princess

UPDATE: Dania made a .wav file to go with the original entry as well.
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Can't fight what I see
Note to self: No matter what your brain tries to tell you each and every time you type it, browser is not spelled browswer.
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It's better than bad - it's good!
Michele sent me the Sea Monkey Space Shuttle for my birthday, and those little suckers are getting huge! I suspect we'll have our own little Mayan village constructed very soon, with Todd's help of course. If you'd like to watch them swimming around tonight (because really, do you have anything better to do on a Monday night) -- may I please turn your attention towards the new Sea Monkey Cam! It's your new moment of zen.
posted at 08:28 PM | link-

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War of the Roses

With all the hubub of the weekend, I never even got the chance to congratulate my Sooners for being invited to the Grandaddy of 'em All! That's right. The University of Oklahoma is Rose Bowl bound -- they'll be in Pasadena!

With 35 previous bowl games, Oklahoma ranks among the nation's elite football programs. But don't try selling the current Sooners on the fact that post-season play is in anyway old hat.

In fact, with a first-ever ticket to the Rose Bowl now officially stamped, OU administrators, coaches and players are downright giddy.

"This is an extraordinary and very rare opportunity for the University of Oklahoma," said athletics director Joe Castiglione. "Other than in last year's national championship scenario, this is the first time since 1941 that a team from a conference other than the Big Ten or Pacific Ten has been invited to play in the Rose Bowl. We are extremely honored to be in this position. (Read more...)

I can't believe the regular college football season is already at an end though. I'm seriously about to haul out the black and go into mourning. It just never lasts long enough. And I'm sorry folks (not that there's anything wrong with that) but golf and NASCAR just do NOT cut it. Sigh. Boomer Sooner!
posted at 06:54 PM | link-

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Lefties do it right?
While holding a pencil this afternoon...for some reason I was magically taken back to the days of Big Chief Tablets, jumbo pencils, and fresh pencil-sharpener smell... (I was very saddened when looking for an image to learn that they quit making Big Chief Tablets in 2001, by the way.)

But while on my graphics hunt, I came across several sites for left-handed students that sold "left-handed pencils". Now my mom is a south-paw. She had several left-handed special tools like scissors, kitchen gadgets, etc. I even learned how to iron and twirl a baton left-handed (and still do so to this day), even though I'm right-handed. But pencils? They're...just a glorified stick... Does it really make a difference, because that's a new one for me!

Just out of curiousity, are you a lefty?

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The sunshine state?

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Only fifteen shopping days left...

A few fun places online if you're looking for silly-gaggish type Christmas presents:

Fridge Fun / Sonoma Bath Company -- Perhaps the Ultra Slut body detergent would work well for me right now? Maybe even the Pimp Daddy version for Todd? Or anyone up for a fun game of Bathtub Voodoo? They also have tons of cool magnets.
Fridgedoor.com -- very similar to the site above. Great bath product lines and fridge magnets.
The Unemployed Philosophers Guild -- One of these days I'm going to find the right person for the Freudian slippers! Not to mention, where else can you get Darwin, Dali and Socrates beanies?

And of course, you can't forget the old non-silly standbys -- Uncommon Goods and Red Envelope (free shipping thru 12/11 with code HW2C2).

Happy shopping! And if you've got your favorites off the unbeaten path, please leave them in the comments...

posted at 02:46 AM | link-

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Makes no difference who you are
"I Wish, You Wish" is finally online and active! It's a place where bloggers can link their wishlist (Amazon, ThinkGeek, thethingsiwant.com, etc.) along with their blog URL and birthday. Then they're all listed together and centrally located -- so when January rolls around you can pull up January's list, for example, and know what birthdays you've got coming up for that month and what the individual wants/needs. It's a great project created by Shelli, with the help of Kymberlie. Stop by and add your wishlist today!
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Smile, and the world smiles with you

The one thing that truly made me smile today -- and it was free!
posted at 11:26 PM | link-

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The color purple
Well we're back from a fun afternoon at the snooty mall with Dan and Stacy (her hair looks fabulous, btw). After a yummy meal, we all spent way too much money and walked so much that I don't know if I'll be able to leave the couch for days now. But it was so worth it!

I had to remove all links to the Carmen-licker just now though. I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. It's just not right. You might consider doing the same on your own sites -- unless of course you prefer reading the English Language for Dummies.

I noticed on her counter (and then also saw it mentioned on Mikey's site) that literally 1/4 of the total hits she's ever received have been from all of our sites today. Yes, that's right -- 25% of the traffic she's ever had occurred just today. Mr. Warhol rolled over, called me up, and her 15 minutes are so over. If you absolutely have to find out what all of the fuss is about, scroll down to the entries below this. You'll find a link to a pop-up screen capture. You can hand-type her URL in from there. So everyone wave bye-bye to the sad little accused-pedophile-defending soul now... *plonk*

And Mr. Mittens, I still think you're an ass. But I can't help myself. I'm secretly starting to develop a (strictly platonic) crush on you. You're like Jeremy Dexter in the third grade. Sure I broke his nose with a mean right hook for looking up my skirt on the playground. But he still asked me to go with him to a school dance years later. However -- this information cannot leave this room, ok? It would devastate my reputation as a dude.
posted at 09:05 PM | link-

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So, yo, so, yo, ho...
And in other news...as you might imagine I am way behind on my e-mail today. Please be patient. But I need a break from this chair (I haven't even been able to leave the house since Monday), and we're taking a long one with Dan and Stacy in Tampa this afternoon. So now I have to get my arse in the shower. Everyone have a great one, and watch the Bucs for me!

UPDATE: I refuse to link to the site and give the girl traffic any longer. So if you're late to the party and really have to figure out just how to get to her site and what's been said, launch this image and hand-type in the URL in your browser. Thanks! -Robyn

Heh. Looks like the lions have feasted for our minion day. Just keep this in mind people. We're getting sexual condemnation from a woman who puts a photo of Carmen Electra at the top of her page with the slogan "a little lick does the trick". Carmen Electra is about as pure as the driven snow...in New York City. But I'm sure she meant just lick the lollipop (and cigar) riiiight?

What's the matter with your life?
Why you gotta mess with mine?
Don't keep sweatin' what I do
'Cuz I'm gonna be just fine

Check it out...

If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight
It's none of your business
And she wanna be a freak
And sell it on the weekend
It's none of your business
Now you shouldn't even get into
Who I'm givin' skins to
It's none of your business
So don't try to change my mind
I'll tell you one more time
It's none of your business

Now who do you think you are
Puttin' your cheap two cents in?
Don't you got nothin' to do
Than worry 'bout my friends?

Check it...

I can't do nothin', girl
without somebody buggin'
I used to think that it was me
But now I see it wasn't
They told me to change
They called me names
And so I popped one

Opinion's are like assholes and everybody's got one

I never put my nose where I'm not supposed to
Believe me, if he's something that I want
I'm steppin' closer
I'm not one for playing high-pole
Like the house of ditty 90210 type of ho

I treat a man like he treats me
The difference between a hooker
And a ho ain't nothin' but a fee
So hold your tongue tightly
Wish you could be like me
You're poppin' all that mess
Only to stress and to spite me

Now you can get with that
Or you can get with this
But I don't give a shit
'Cuz really it's none of your business

How many rules am I to break
Before you understand
That your double-standards
Don't mean shit to me?

I know exactly what you say
When I turn and walk away
But that's ok cuz I don't let it get it to me
Now every move I make somebody's clockin'
Don't ask me nothin'
Will you just leave me alone.........
posted at 12:43 PM | link-

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Hot tub! Gonna get ya hot-a!
UPDATE: I refuse to link to the site and give the girl traffic any longer. So if you're late to the party and really have to figure out just how to get to her site and what's been said, launch this image and hand-type in the URL in your browser. Thanks! -Robyn

By request here are a couple of new buttons:

Feel free to swipe the appropriate one for your own sites and link it here. If we're gonna be called it, we might as well flaunt it. That's my motto.... Rub a dub with me!
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I like my women on the trashy side
UPDATE: I refuse to link to the site and give the girl traffic any longer. So if you're late to the party and really have to figure out just how to get to her site and what's been said, launch this image and hand-type in the URL in your browser. Thanks! -Robyn

I just bought this. And this is why. Who says I don't have a helluva sense of humor?

Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers
Gonna use my, my, my imagination

'Cause I gonna make you see
There's nobody else here
No one like me
I’m special, so special
I gotta have some of your attention
Give it to me.....
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