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Posted: 12.13.2002
I always feel like somebody's watching me
I have arrived! I now officially have my very own anti-button. Just in time for the holidays...it's "I Wanna Be Stalked By Robyn"! I'm available for Christmas and New Years parties, birthday parties, wedding receptions, and bar and bat mitzvahs. So book now -- book early! I'll be more than happy to show up with bells on and read all of your deleted blog entries and comments back to you and your guests. Just watch the hillarity ensue. And if you act now, we'll even throw in a little Dick free of charge!

The New York Times raves: "I loved it. It was better than Cats. I plan to see it again and again."

I've got a stalker. He's got a stalker. She's got a stalker. We've all got stalkers. Wouldn't you like to have a stalker, too?

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

robyn, thanks for sticking that damn song in my head. ugh. now i need to go rinse it out with some other music before i drive the kids insane with the pepper song...lol

¤ ¤ credit: kat | 12.13.02 at 04:19 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Okay, you say you'll be there with bells on...but will it just be the bells and nothing else? And what will Dick have on? This could influence my decision to book you, you know.

¤ ¤ credit: Geri | 12.13.02 at 04:24 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You are WAY too fucking funny Robyn...

Will you stalk me? huh? Please?? Oh pretty please??

¤ ¤ credit: Jen | 12.13.02 at 04:28 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Geri, Statute 7, Article 9, Subparagraph 4, line 219 of the Geneva Convention specifically states that we have to keep Dick covered at all times. What I wear depends on the amount of payment. ;-)

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.13.02 at 04:32 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hey, I have meetings next week, could you make me look good?

¤ ¤ credit: statia | 12.13.02 at 04:43 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

ok, so what's-her-name made that sign? that's kinda funny, cuz it can be read as "Stalkers on the internet are saying 'no' to Robyn", basically admitting that Chris is a stalker. of course, with her limited grammar skilz she probably didn't notice.

i think your stalking should be a weekly feature. better than a featured site. better than aortal. it's... the stalked site of the week!

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 12.13.02 at 05:16 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Yep, it was made by Lisa/Candi/Zita/Cybil herself! No one ever accused her of being a Rhodes Scholar... ;-) I like the Stalker Portal idea though!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.13.02 at 05:20 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Um, I don't get it. "Stalkers on the Internet Say No to Robyn"? Isn't that a GOOD thing? :)

Aw, rats, Mikey beat me to it.

¤ ¤ credit: Solonor | 12.13.02 at 05:22 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

No one stalks me. I feel unloved. (I mean, they give up after just one IP banning. A dedicated stalker would go to all the public libraries and internet cafés in town, right? Sad.)

¤ ¤ credit: Andrea Harris | 12.13.02 at 05:26 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Not the brightest bulb in the GE factory, huh Solonor? But Andrea, I would be more than happy to stalk you. Shall I pencil you in for 7 p.m. next Tuesday?

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.13.02 at 05:28 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Are you busy January 14th? I've got this thing with these people and I'd just love to show off my very own stalker. Anyway, pencil me in...

¤ ¤ credit: tj | 12.13.02 at 06:33 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I thought that too when I read it. It kinda sounded like you were rejected by stalkers. Maybe you could make her a button like the Purple Puerile Pedomorphic Pest and any other adjectives that start with "P" and see if she thinks it's a compliment.

¤ ¤ credit: trish | 12.13.02 at 07:31 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

It's a date! I'll mark my calender.

¤ ¤ credit: Andrea Harris | 12.13.02 at 10:57 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I've never been stalked before (at least to my knowledge) and to be so honored by you, Robyn, would be the highlight of my blog-life! I guess Christmas and New Years are out; sounds like you are booked for them. My birthday is in August, can I pencil you in then or is that too far in advance?

¤ ¤ credit: Bill | 12.13.02 at 11:30 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Well, I booked you for a private stalking for my birthday in August.

But you wont show up, I know it. Nobody wants to stalk me. I feel so left out.
*walks away depressed*

¤ ¤ credit: -e- | 12.14.02 at 02:00 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Sorry, this stalker idea is just not feasible with the current economy. There just wouldn't be sufficient return to cover the investment of stalking someone full time.

What we could do is utilize stalker time-sharing. We make an index of local-to-you stalker-potentials, and split their time amongst several bloggers a week (Robyn on Monday, someone else on Tuesday, etc).

Perhaps corporate sponsorship would help keep costs down - your stalker could wear a t-shirt while chasing you down the street or sitting outside your home with a vood doo doll. "Amazon.com: The best stalking electronics" or "CrazyInternetStalkerDude.com Body Bags by Glad!" or "WeCanPickAnyDoorLock.com"

(Ok.. groan... whatdoya expect at 6:30 in the morning?!?)

¤ ¤ credit: Quinn | 12.14.02 at 05:32 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

That was priceless!!

¤ ¤ credit: jen | 12.14.02 at 08:28 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hey Robyn, you could come up to Montreal to stalk me - I hear my town is all the rage with stalkers these days. ;D

¤ ¤ credit: Bill | 12.14.02 at 05:32 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I've been stalked!! :)!!!!!

¤ ¤ credit: Quinn | 12.16.02 at 01:07 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

"Allllll...nobody's peeped me!"

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.16.02 at 01:17 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

pick me, pick me...erm..i mean stalk me, stalk me :)

¤ ¤ credit: Ruthie | 12.16.02 at 03:09 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

maybe sanata will bring me a stalker for christmas. :crosses fingers:

¤ ¤ credit: julie | 12.16.02 at 05:11 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

ya know there's something to be said for proof reading. eh...

¤ ¤ credit: julie | 12.16.02 at 05:14 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Whatcha mean, Julie? Sanata Clauso is one righteous hombre!

¤ ¤ credit: Other Mike | 12.18.02 at 04:15 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Iam trying to find the stress vood doo doll and I cant find it at all!

Good luck finding god bless kurtis

¤ ¤ credit: Kurtis Mckemmie | 05.08.03 at 08:41 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

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All old ping links have been removed from this blog. Die spammers, die!

Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me through my world?

Psssssst...pass it on!
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