Pretty as a picture
Finally...the new look for the 2003 Dress of the Month Contest...and the dress for January is up now as well!
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Countin' Flowers on the wall - that don't bother me at all

Lee Flowers - Official Tampa Tantrum Paper Champion

posted at 08:30 PM | link-

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Oh, say can you sing
I am getting really sick of "artistic interpretations" with the national anthem. I don't care if it's trendy to do so -- just sing the damn song. We don't need choirs stringing it out gospel-style. We don't need you hitting notes high enough to call all area dogs. We don't need five minute a cappella do-wap interludes. Just the "Star Spangled Banner" as it was written (and intended to be sung), please. I swear some of these anthem-performances are getting to be longer than the games they precede.
posted at 04:34 PM | link-

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I believe I can touch the...sky?
Oh yeah. Looks like it's going to be another one of those days. (Actual link via Yahoo News.)
posted at 02:59 PM | link-

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got boobies?
Move over Save Karyn and Boobie-Thon...now we have GiveBoobs.com. So far this college girl has managed to raise over $1K for her breast augmentation, hoping to go from a size 34A to the great beyond. But I'd be done seen about everything...
posted at 04:24 AM | link-

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The girlie really does matter
Here's another great MT tip from the girlie matters. Having links to a blog's ten most recent entries in a sidebar has never made much sense to me. If you're scrolling through the sidebar, you're scrolling through the site...where the entries already are. Well with this tip you can display recent entries that have just scrolled off the main page. For example, I think I'm running the 40 most recent entries on my main page right now. If I wanted to link my most recent entries #41-50 (the ten that have just left the main page) in my sidebar, I'd just follow the directions here. Brilliant!

UPDATE: Here's another really good tip and trick site from Crazy Tracy -- Mandarin Design. "...Nifty tips and tricks for blogs that none of us should be without, like form cheats, instructions for borders and boxes, quick image cheats, CSS and html cheats and more..."
posted at 03:25 AM | link-

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Gee, I really love you
Well we decided to screw the critics (no, not literally) and went to see "Just Married" for a date night. Although it wasn't the funniest romantic comedy I've ever seen -- it was cute -- and had several bust outloud laughing moments. Any movie that makes fun of the French gets two snaps in a circle from us. I really wish Brittany Murphy would eat more though. It seems she loses five more lbs. for every new role these days. In the next couple of years all that's gonna be left is a blonde mop and some hip-huggers... I took away the following three things from our evening out, in no particular order:

Some parents just don't seem to get the fact that couples choose the 10:30 p.m. showing for a reason. These couples don't have kids. We don't want kids there. You either get a sitter, or you stay home and wait for the DVD. You do not show up with your infant and/or three year old and expect them to be on their best behavior by the time midnight rolls around. And you don't expect me not to give you the evil eye for putting the kid in that position in the first place. If they tend to throw hissies at home when it's time for bedtime, what makes the parents think in a crowded theater it's going to be any different?
For every new release, be prepared for that group of five or six that roll in about twenty seconds 'til the previews start -- and stop on the main platform of the stadium theater expecting the seas of seats ahead to part just because they finally showed up. Then watch in amusement as they put their hands upon their hips incredulously, realizing their theory is blown and no one's moving just because we've all been graced with their presence at the last-minute.
A really good quote (and yes, it made me sniffly and nostalgic): "You never see the hard times in a photo album. But they're the ones that carry you from one happy snapshot to the next." Expect that to be used in some form on Shutterblog soon.

Have a mah-velous weekend dah-lings! Two glorious days of football ahead...

UPDATE: Susan and Jason went to see "Just Married" tonight as well. Here's their review!

UPDATE 2: I was looking over the IMDB cast list for the movie because the blonde younger brother, who turned out to be Thad Luckinbill, looked familiar. I glanced down the page and saw "Young and the Restless". Oh yeah...he was J.T. But then I looked at the top of the page and saw birthdate (April 24, 1975) -- and then Enid, Oklahoma (where I lived from the 3rd thru 9th grade). And then I saw the name...Thad Luckinbill. It finally hit me. I went to church with him at Emmanual Baptist Church. I was friends with his older sister Susan. His other older sister Deanna was Miss Oklahoma. His parents lived literally 3 doors down from my grandparents -- I went to their house several times. And he graduated from the University of Oklahoma. <cue Twilight Zone music here>
posted at 01:21 AM | link-

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The more you eat, the better you feel
Well I at least have to give them bonus points for being one of the most amusing porn-spams I've ever received. (Image safe for work viewing. Text that's on the image...not so much...) Someone really should tell those girls they're holding a cucumber though...
posted at 03:35 PM | link-

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Rorschach, bay-beeeee!
Because I'm bored and avoiding responsibility for a few more minutes...let's all go take the "ink blot test", why don't we?
posted at 03:09 PM | link-

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There's something about you girl that makes me sweat
Hallucinate, desegregate, mediate, alleviate, try not to hate, love your mate, don't suffocate on your own hate, designate your love as fate, a one world state, as human freight, the number eight, a white black state, a gentle trait, the broken crate, a heavy weight, or just too late, like pretty Kate has sex ornate, now devastate, appreciate, depreciate, fabricate, emulate, the truth dilate, special date, the animal we ate, guilt debate, the edge serrate, a better rate, the youth irate, deliberate, fascinate, deviate, reinstate, liberate, to moderate, recreate, or detonate, annihilate, atomic fate, mediate, clear the state, activate, now radiate, a perfect state, food on plate, gravitate, the Earth's own weight, designate your love as fate, at ninety-eight we all rotate...

Hallucinate, desegregate, mediate, alleviate, try not to hate, love your mate, don't suffocate on your own hate, designate your love as fate, a one world state, as human freight, the number eight, a white black state, a gentle trait, the broken crate, a heavy weight, or just too late, like pretty Kate has sex ornate, now devastate, appreciate, depreciate, fabricate, emulate, the truth dilate, special date, the animals we ate, guilt debate, the edge serrate, a better rate, the youth irate, deliberate, fascinate, deviate, reinstate, liberate, liberate, liberate, liberate.....

Thank god it's finally Friday! Have a great weekend everyone!
posted at 04:50 AM | link-

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All grown up and savin' China
Poor Todd...one of his crushes, little Clarissa/Sabrina, is going off the market. Melissa Joan Hart got engaged to her 'rocker boyfriend' this Christmas.

And speaking of weddings, I was really looking forward to this movie. But after that review...youch! Oh well, at least American Pie is coming out with an "American Wedding" sequel soon . Can you imagine the on-screen bachelor party planned by Stifler? Stifler's palace of love...STRAIGHT love.
posted at 04:36 AM | link-

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'Cause I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating
Just in case ~~voting~~ nominating in the Bloggies hasn't been enough fun -- now you can check the winners of the most and least annoying individuals of 2002 at AmIAnnoying.com. Interesting that Nostradamus is in the top 10... (Read full article at CNN.com.)

UPDATE: Yep, I realize this is just the nomination round...
posted at 01:46 AM | link-

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I wasn't screamin' - I was whistling!
So we grabbed dinner at Boston Market tonight while we were out, and noticed they were doing a promotion on February 6th. "Come in and get half a chicken sandwich free!" Now I'm all for the concept of free food -- be it a free pack of Burger King fries, or a Taco Bell taco if a homerun or a meteor hits a star on a floating raft. But half a sandwich? And we're not talking subs here. We're talking half of a small, round hamburger-bun-style chicken sandwich. What kind of lame-ass promotion is that?

How much are your ribs?
2-fitty.
2-fitty?! How much for half a rib?
'Bout 1.25.
1.25? that's too much for half a rib! I'll have one rib.
One order of ribs!
Not one ORDER! One RIB!
That's not the way we do it here.
Well then how much for a soda?
One dollar.
Okay, how about you give me a sip for fifteen cents?
My cups cost more than fifteen cents!
Okay, fuck the cup, how about you just pour it in my hands for a dime?
posted at 09:39 PM | link-

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This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby
You know it's a slow news day when MSNBC is left to talk about penis enlargers on their main page. (Full article here. With such sage advice as, "So if you have 2 inches, you have enough to do the job." Are they still telling men that same line of crap to make themselves feel better? *ducks* Of course, the article was written by a man... Heh.)

One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers... One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers... One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby," by Austin Powers.

So let's take a quick poll... Is it the motion?

Or is it the size of the ocean? (Or alternatively "size of the boat" just for Jay.)

posted at 06:14 PM | link-

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It's Stifler time, baby!

Just felt like a little Stifmeister this afternoon. Yes, the force is strong in that one. Carry on...
posted at 04:30 PM | link-

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Warm evenings, pale mornings, bottle of blues
Here's a mellow one from the Lemonheads to fit my current mood:

[Click to view the song lyrics]

Right-click the image (or this link) to save...
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What would Statia do?

I've already got a jump-start on my Christmas shopping for 2003 with this little gem. I think G.I. Jesus will go quite nicely with Statia's collection -- and since things seem to be heating up with Iraq once again, all the better. That reminds me...I haven't been by the Betty Bowers site in a long time. Looks like there's a lot of new stuff up. Must...work ... not...play. Sigh.
posted at 02:19 AM | link-

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Thank your Gnome, kids

Right-click to save :: OTF for XP or OS-X :: the slightly revised TTF
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One big, happy family
You might remember that back in November I blogged about Dori and J.E.'s upcoming trip to China to adopt their new daughter Jaden. Heads-up that they're back home in the States with their new baby girl to start the new year. Congratulations to mom, dad and big brother!
posted at 08:25 PM | link-

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Play fo' the doh - stay for the show
So I'm burning one of these right now -- a Coconut Cake tart warmer from Yankee Candle. Thing is, it doesn't smell a thing like coconut cake. Oddly enough, it smells like fresh Play-doh to me. Not that there's anything wrong with that...but it just seems very "odd". I'll have to get the Dick's opinion.
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This is the best I could find...deal with it
Wanted: more stupid people. The fringe-news is getting boring these days.

If their money smelled like marijuana, then they weren't so good at money laundering after all, now were they?
J-Lo needed the assistance of eleven songwriters to pen "“Yo, yo. It take hard work to cash checks. So don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got the assets." And all those who believe she's "doing everything to prevent the media hype" surrounding her engagement [to Ben Affleck] raise your hands and form a line to the right...
Big-busted women take cover! The boob-onic plague is on the loose.
No, I didn't post this to FARK -- but I could have. Neener neener.
Last, and certainly least...mugshots of the not-so rich and famous. Poor Bambi.

And now...your moment of zen.
posted at 05:41 PM | link-

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I'm just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Y'know all the "Joe Millionaire" talk going on? Well the opening show gave FOX its highest ratings since "Melrose Place" in January 1995. For those playing along with the home game, I was still single -- and in college -- in January of 1995. I suspect "reality TV" will soon be moving in the direction of "sick and twisted reality TV". Now where'd I put my popcorn?
posted at 04:13 PM | link-

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Stand by me and dream a little dream
The 400,000th FARK link: Corey Feldman hopes starring in a reality show with MC Hammer and Vince Neil will help repair his image. Amazingly enough, Wil Wheaton was not invited to participate. You just can't make this stuff up. (Read more at CNN.com and FARK.com.)
posted at 05:53 AM | link-

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No more words

Font credit and my undying thanks go to: His Gnomeyness

UPDATE: Here's an OTF for XP or OS-X!
posted at 02:42 AM | link-

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I play some bas-ket-ball
So did anyone catch our #9 Sooners as they defeated #3 UConn 73-63 on ESPN2 tonight? Connecticut was one of the last 3 unbeaten teams. Not anymore. This marks OU's 30th straight win at home.

A game of note -- the 2003 Bedlam series between OU and OSU kicks off next Monday night in Stillwater. It will be broadcast on ESPN at 9 p.m. EST on January 13th.
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º-º Are you threatening me? º-º

It seems Michele has noticed she's blown by Chris for the number 2 spot in the Blogrolling Top 100. She claims she's not gunning for my number 1 spot, and that's a good thing. I happen to like it on top. However, goodness knows I'm always game for a good Jell-O fight. I believe we could all put our kids through college if we sold tickets for that quadruple billing. And if we had these two as the whipped cream grand finale wearing these, I'm thinking an encore camfest live from Jamaica would be quite possible!
posted at 07:14 PM | link-

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I just stand by and watch you fight your secret war
I'm a bad, bad wife. I went with Todd to the doctor's office today to find out all of his annual physical bloodwork results. (Ironically, I needed to be in a doctor's office much more than he did this afternoon -- but I still wanted to be there with him.) It's a good thing, too. It sounds like I'm going to have to take charge of the diet plan around here. When I'm too sick to cook we end up eating out and it's catching up with my husband.

Granted, they did his bloodwork in the midst of holiday eating season (how unfair is that) -- but his triglycerides were at around 450 (when they should have been at 150ish). His good cholesterol was at 33 when it should have been 60 or higher. His "bad" cholesterol was also high. There was also a "heart attack risk" indicator test, and he should have been around 2-4 for his age. He's at a 7.

So I got a lecture from the babushka about his diet and he got one about his lack of exercise. A cruel slap back to reality that the last few months have turned us into 30-somethings, instead of "eat all you want, we'll make more" 20-somethings. Needless to say, our original Checkers dinner plans were scrapped for Honeybaked Ham on the way home.
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I don't wanna work
The new "100 best places to work" list is out. Sekimori isn't anywhere on there. Hmmmph! Well, maybe instead of a "place", they consider it a "state of mind" instead?
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Forever and ever amen
“Marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly. I don’t want to be married for six months and then say, ‘Oh well, never mind. Let’s go on to number two’.” -Gwyneth Paltrow, B Magazine

Go Gwynnie! Man, I love the not-so-subtle digs she takes in the press from time to time at Baldie and Jenny from the Block's expense. A bitch of my own heart.
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How do I love thee?
I just made a new wedding banner for a WM! client -- Poems To Go. If you know anyone getting married, or about to give a wedding toast, this would be a good site to pass along!
posted at 02:46 AM | link-

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Just your average Joe

As a rule, we avoid "reality TV" like the plague around here. After Survivor I, it was pretty much all downhill. But we found ourselves both strangely curious about the new FOX show "Joe Millionaire". It just had that bad accident quality you couldn't quite look away from no matter how hard you tried. Rubbernecking at primetime's not-so-finest, if you will.

I don't even know what to say about tonight's episode. Or what was more pathetic. All of the stacked bimbos cooing about their "fairy tale" and Prince Charming dreams -- or the fact the bachelor kept trying to figure out which one of the women would actually like him for him. Let's see. You make $19K a year Joe. You don't have a college degree. These women think you're worth $50 mil. They got a free trip to France, and room and board in a nice chateau. I'm sure if this had been titled "Who wants to marry a poverty-level construction worker from Dana Point, CA" the very same doctors and bankers would have been lined up around the block to fight for your ~~wallet~~ hand in marriage.

I was brought up to be one of those women. All my life my mother wanted me to believe in fairy tales, and to hunt for my Prince above all else -- just like she always did. In my family your life is not complete without a band of gold on your third left-hand finger. Thankfully you don't always become what you're raised to be. Because I'd rather be single for the rest of my days than to coo over men riding up on horses and making the Filene's Basement Sale look like a cakewalk so I could attend the ball in style.

Of course, that said -- yep, we'll be tuning in again next week. Todd claims it's to marvel at the beautiful chateau and French countryside. I just want to see if any of my distant cousins are among the contestants. Yeah, that's it...

P.S. Did any of you ladies out there find him even remotely attractive? I sure didn't.
posted at 10:17 PM | link-

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Call me...on the line...
Just got to watch the replay of Friday's "Call For Help" with the meester. I made a sound file of my bit part just in case you wanna hear. Too cool -- thanks again Chris!

Friday's episode also had a great segment on downloading free fonts (and making them). GimmeFonts.com is a new one (to me) that looks great -- and they also recommended another favorite FontFace.com.
posted at 08:29 PM | link-

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I'm a man - I'm a goddess
"Sunny weather, being with family and losing weight were more of an influence on women's happiness — while romance, sex, hobbies and victories by their favorite sports teams were more important to men." (credit: "The Formula for Happiness?" at Yahoo News!)

That does it. It's official. I'm really a guy. *glances down* Well, maybe not...but it appears I think and react like one!
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Dear Diaries
Still feeling like @#$%!, but one of my latest sites launched overnight -- The Gweilo Diaries. Yes, I know there are too many big images (each one used was provided by and requested by the client). And yes I know it loads slow (it's his stats tracker) and the fonts are rather large. I'm innocent, I tell ya'! But I really like the color scheme, so there.

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Be our guest
Spotted at flat.level.ground -- another great MT trick from the girlie matters. It's a FAQ on how to put together a guestbook for your site with Movable Type. Somedays I wonder if there's anything this software can't do...and anything the girlie matters can't figure out how to do with it?
posted at 09:57 PM | link-

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The tide is high but I'm moving on
After I've been sick for a long stretch of time, I go and get my hair done. Even if I'm still feeling lousy -- that way I don't look the part, too. So today I finally went back to the girl that gave me this cut / highlights. I haven't actually had my hair cut or trimmed since she didn't show up for our appt. a few days before Todd's birthday in August (and I got stuck with "the disaster" instead). But today I decided it was time to give the stylist I liked another chance -- and I'm so glad I did. She gave me one of the very few hairstyles that I've ever had where people would stop me and ask me where I got it cut when we went out.

Now killing two birds with one stone -- here are photos I took for "Picture Yourself", showing off my new cut and style (photo 1, photo 2, photo 3, photo 4, photo 5). Here's one Todd took of the back as well.

And in other news...it appears others have noticed I quietly pruned my blog-reads list this weekend. Please don't take it personally. There's no need to write and see if you did something wrong or if I'm angry with you. It's just impossible for any human to read over 200 blogs a week. Especially one coming off the flu with a handful of very antsy clients. So I cut my blogrolls back a bit as a result. If you don't comment often, or update often (for me to catch it via Blogrolling and weblogs.com), then chances are I won't have the mental prompt to stop by. That doesn't mean I'll never read you again. It just means my free time is becoming more and more scarce by the day... Hope that helps clear things up. Group hug!

And I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend! Can you believe we're already diving headfirst into 2003? Yipes!
posted at 07:32 PM | link-

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Jane, you ignorant slut

Ever have a blog, newsgroup, or message board thread that just won't die? Feel like busting on someone for the idiot they are? Well thanks to this URL from Dick, now you can say "fuck you and die" in style. Four glorious pages of witty comebacks and one-upper images. (WARNING: These images are considered politically incorrect. I accept no liability for any emotional damage or physical discomfort you might incur while viewing them.)

And a few new photos to mention, courtesy of a beautiful bouquet from Stacy and Dan. One is now my wallpaper (over in the sidebar).

posted at 02:43 PM | link-

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Here we are now, going to the east side
So tonight's the big "off da' hook" west coast bash. Even though I've asked him and her, I've yet to see a webcam feed. Weak. Totally weak. We were posting photos live as they happened and everything (click here for full list of past-shindigs and pics) -- in addition to two webcams going at once for the last gig. So now we take a poll. Everyone is allowed to vote up to three times, just in case they come up with enough "evidence" to tip your hat latah.

East siiiiiiiiiiiide is in the hizzouse! Fly your colors. Pledge your allegiance. Word to your mother. And to your father... I think word to the whole family.

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