Sixty reasons why cucumbers are better than men...

1.  The average cucumber is at least six inches long.
2.  Cucumbers stay hard for a week.
3.  A cucumber won't tell you size don't count.
4.  Cucumbers don't get TOO excited.
5.  A cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety.
6.  Cucumbers are easy to pick up.
7.  You can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket... and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
8.  Cucumbers can get away any weekend.
9.  With a cucumber you can get a single room and ... you won't have to check in as 'Mrs. Cucumber'.
10. A cucumber will always respect you in the morning.
11. If you can go to the movie with a cucumber and see the movie at a drive in you can stay in the front seat.
12. A cucumber can always wait until you get home.
13. A cucumber won't eat all the popcorn.
14. A cucumber won't drag you out to a John Wayne Film Festival.
15. A cucumber won't ask: 'Am I first?'
16. Cucumbers don't care whether you're a virgin.
17. Cucumbers won't tell other cucumbers you're a virgin.
18. Cucumbers won't tell anyone you're not a virgin.
19. With cucumbers, you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
20. Cucumbers won't write your name and number on men's room wall.
21. Cucumbers don't have sex hang-ups.
22. Cucumbers won't ask: 'Am I the best', 'How was it?' 'Did you come?', 'How many times?'
23. Cucumbers aren't jealous of your gynecologist, ski instructor or hair dresser.
24. Cucumbers won't ask about your last lover or speculate about your next one.
25. A cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator.
26. A cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over.
27. No matter how old you are you can always get a fresh cucumber.
28. You can dish a cucumber up for dinner to your Brother-in law & Sister, after fucking it.
29. Cucumbers can handle rejection.
30. A cucumber won't pout if you have a headache.
31. A cucumber won't care what time of the month it is.
32. A cucumber never wants to get it on when your nails are wet.
33. A cucumber won't give it up for lent.
34. With a cucumber, you never have to say you're sorry.
35. Cucumbers won't leave whisker burns, fall asleep on your chest or drool on the pillow.
36. It's easy to drop a cucumber.
37. Cucumbers can stay up ALL night and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot.
38. A cucumber won't work your crossword in ink.
39. A cucumber isn't allergic to your cat.
40. Cucumbers never answer your phone or borrow your car.
41. A cucumber won't eat all your food or drink all your liquor.
42. A cucumber doesn't turn your bathroom into a library.
43. Cucumbers won't go through your medicine chest.
44. A cucumber doesn't use your toothbrush, roll-on or hairspray.
45. Cucumbers won't leave dirty shorts on the floor.
46. A cucumber never forgets to flush the toilet.
47. A cucumber doesn't flush the toilet while you're in the shower.
48. With a cucumber, the toilet seat is always the way you left it.
49. Cucumbers don't compare you to a centerfold.
50. Cucumbers won't tell you they liked you better with long hair.
51. A cucumber will never leave you for another man, another woman or another cucumber.
52. You will always know where your cucumber has been.
53. A cucumber never has to call 'the wife'.
54. Cucumbers won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
55. You can have as many cucumbers as you can handle.
56. You only eat cucumbers when you feel like it.
57. You don't have to wait for halftime to talk to your cucumber.
58. A cucumber won't leave town on New Years Eve.
59. Cucumbers never want to take you home to mom.
60. Cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers.

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 01.10.03 at 03:43 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You're weird today...
I like it!
:)

¤ ¤ credit: Quinn | 01.10.03 at 04:23 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

hmmm...suddenly I'm in the mood for salad...damn you!

Concerning the spammers...here's a decent tool for tracking dem bastids down:

http://combat.uxn.com/

¤ ¤ credit: Darth Monkeybone | 01.10.03 at 04:29 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

i love porn spam...lol its just so funny. carrot fucking.com! we must stop these teen girls bwahahah! what a riot.

¤ ¤ credit: kat | 01.10.03 at 04:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

But...but...I like the porn spam Darth. It's very entertaining! ;-)

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 01.10.03 at 04:37 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

LMAO! Robyn, you are cracking me up today! I get a kick out of some of the spam, but when they want me to enlarge my penis...now THAT is hilarious! Egads!

¤ ¤ credit: Crystal | 01.10.03 at 07:05 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

heh. i saw this the other night - a cucumber is a girl's best friend

¤ ¤ credit: C. | 01.10.03 at 07:33 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

OMG! That was funny! You get more amusing porn spams than I do.

Thanks for the laugh today. I really needed one. :)

¤ ¤ credit: Kathy | 01.10.03 at 07:43 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

yeah.. could you imagine going to one of those "nymph's" homes for dinner.... and they bring out the salad... yowzer....

¤ ¤ credit: nathan | 01.10.03 at 09:44 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

i love how it's carrotfucking.com, but it's not even a picture of a carrot. does this mean that cucumberfucking.com was already taken?

just for the record, i think that's Tonisha Mills on the right there...

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 01.10.03 at 11:04 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You guys fell for it *again!* Tsk tsk!

Robyn own likes, what, 57 urls? Guess who owns carrotfucking.com? Exactly!

To bloggers invited to Robyn's: Please PLEASE bring a camera and "accidentaly" wonder in the spare room in the basement with the sign that reads "Do not enter while the red light is on' sign" next to a red light marking "Recording."

:)

¤ ¤ credit: Quinn | 01.10.03 at 11:53 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Basement! THAT'S what we forgot to look for when buying a house!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 01.11.03 at 02:20 AM | link--this ¤ ¤