"I'm a little out of sequence here, but you once mentioned the thought of either finding someone for a threesome or using a prostitute. Have you though about going with your boyfriend to a strip-club? My husband and I like to go sometimes. We both get an eyefull of lovely ladies. I get a few lap-dances and feel soft boobies and girl breath on my skin. Then we go home and put on porn and fuck til dawn."For a split-second there I was like, "Uhhhhhhhh.....oh yeah."
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Zip Zaps danced in their heads;
Mamma, exhausted, was off to her nap,
So I settled down for one more blog rap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a noise,
I sprang from the desk, knocking over my toys.
I ran to the window; I ran like a fop,
Waiting to see if I should call up a cop.
Something tripped the floodlight outside in the yard,
To see some intruder, it wouldn't be hard;
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a minvan, with bloggers, and two kegs of beer!
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it just must be Dick.
More rapid than Sooners these bloggers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
As drunken hoards that before the wild turkey fly,
When they trip on a sprinkler, look up at the sky,
So out to the back yard the bloggers they flew,
With the sack full of goodies, and Billegible too!
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of skateboards he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just dealing some crack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, His nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
This dude, he was wasted; He'd been hitting the snow;
He came into my dump; he invited himself,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had mucho to dread;
But he wasn't alone, as he invade my home;
He brought friends inside with him
From that damned LockerGnome.
Cheyenne, she was there, with a laugh and a smooch;
But not Chris Pirillo (he was walking his pooch).
They spoke not a word, but went straight to the TV,
And turned on the PlayStation, in spite of my plea.
They played all my games for hours and hours;
Even Lisa joined in (after watching Two Towers).
Then the party was over; the booze was all drunk.
They packed up the Princess; put her back in her trunk.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"
posted at 03:12 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it