link--this

Thanks so much to everyone for their sweet notes of support, encouragement (and the offers of their children)! ;-) Isn't that like 'free birth control' though? LOL!

I won't lie -- my attitude hasn't always been good about all of this. A lot of people can back me up on that. When we first learned I probably couldn't get pregnant (at least without several medical miracles occuring all at once), my attitude was anything but good. I had read somewhere that the news we were facing was somewhat like the grieving process, and that was so true. There was the denial phase, the anger phase (and believe me that one lasted a long time), the hopeless phase, etc.) But just like with grief, there always comes acceptance -- and we're finally there.

We have discussed that when the time is finally right, if it doesn't happen naturally, we will just adopt. That wasn't even an option for Todd in the beginning. So much has changed as the circumstances do as well. The drugs I'd been on already ripped me inside out -- and the ones up next would be 10x as harsh. All that, with still no total guarantee of getting pregnant in the end... With adoption, you are guaranteed a baby eventually. And there are just so many babies that need good homes. Maybe we could get Angelina and Billy Bob's if things don't work out for them? *g*

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 03.18.02 at 01:45 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

2 for 1! I wish, we're trying for the 1 but will gladly take 2.

¤ ¤ credit: JE | 03.18.02 at 01:50 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Robyn, thanks for sharing this...you know that you guys have been in my prayers for a long time! And I love your honesty and your attitude. You are going to be awesome parents someday - but it's so good that you can just enjoy yourselves now. You are such a great example to others struggling with the same thing.

¤ ¤ credit: Cheryl | 03.18.02 at 03:26 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You guys are the best! And both of you never cease to amaze me with your wit and humor and thoughtfulness and sensitivity and love for eachother. You guys really will make wonderful parents one day! :)

¤ ¤ credit: susannah | 03.18.02 at 04:13 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You already know that I want nothing but the absolute best for you both - we all know you deserve it! You ARE going to make such incredible parents and I am *proud* to call myself your friend. {{{hugs}}}

¤ ¤ credit: Christi | 03.18.02 at 06:59 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'm so glad that you guys are considering adoption!! I really think you'll make great parents! and there really are SO MANY KIDS that need the kind of love you guys have. :D {{{{hugs}}}}

¤ ¤ credit: Jennifer | 03.19.02 at 09:33 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Geez, I just read this post, and I feel so bad about being so late about it, but I want to say how much I totally understand that.

B/c of a recent discovery of my own personal health condition (high blood pressure and kidney disease), I'm not sure kids will be possible by the time bf and I are ready.

As everyone says, it's a great attitude that you guys have.

I also want to share with you a little story from one of the ladies in our bible study fellowship....she and her husband tried for seven years for kids, and nothing worked. She finally and sadly had to give up that hope. Not even a year later, she went to the doctors to complain about feeling sick. The doctor came back and said that she was pregnant. She was so convinced that she COULD NOT be pregnant that she actually argued with the doctor at first.

I'm hoping and believing that one day, you too will have that happy argument with your doctor. *hugs*

¤ ¤ credit: ladybug | 04.26.02 at 02:50 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I went through this too, having gone through very early menopause. When I got married a few years later, we looked into what was then newly available medical technologies/hope. We got accepted into a brand new program, got up to the moment of them being ready and needing to make a decision. (like they called one night and needed to know at 8 AM the next day)

In an very hard moment that night, I realized that it wasn't a good choice for me and I declined. It was like starting the loss over again.

The grieving process you mention above is so real and complicated by the fact that people don't think of not being able to conceive children as a loss. It is. People don't know what to say or do. You get through it one way or another, but it's hard.

¤ ¤ credit: Mary Beth | 04.28.02 at 01:28 PM | link--this ¤ ¤