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Posted: 11.07.2002
Yeah, I called ya' fat - look at me I'm skinny
I laid in bed for over fifteen minutes before finally coming back in here, flipping on the monitor, and sitting down to write. I'm angry and I hope the words will come out right. In the entire time I've been blogging I've deleted less than ten comments left at my site. One of those comments was left Wednesday evening.

What was the insult? It basically boiled down to "your friends are fat and my friend should be embarassed that he sat naked in the same hot tub with them at your house". (Not that it matters, but I remained clothed - and out of the hot tub for the most part that evening - so the comment didn't apply to me personally.) But the comment was left by a woman about other women. Why is it when women start to tear each other apart, the first thing they go after is weight? We all unite to slam fashion magazines and their constant parading of size 2 women, yet most of us seem to take glee in criticizing someone the instant they don't match that criteria.

In the last five years, I have literally been anywhere from a size 6 to 14. I've had surgeries, infertility drugs, and a health-related inability to exercise. When I'm a size 6, I can finally get my ass squeezed into my favorite pair of jeans. When I'm a 14, I finally get those breasts I yearned for in high school when the standard joke I always heard was, "You're like a pirate's treasure...sunken chest." You get some, you lose some. But regardless of my weight, I'm still "me" inside. And my husband still treats me like the size 6 woman he married. Pity some anonymous stranger on the internet might not have the same compassion. If you can't love me when I'm a 14, I sure as hell don't want your love when I'm a 6.

If you EVER think you can come in my house and trash my friends for their weight (or anything else for that matter) you are sorely mistaken. Let she who is without unwanted cellulite cast the first Twinkie. I'll eat it for dessert, and then next I'll go after your soul for the main course. Let's make sure we're crystal on that, shall we? And now, back to your regularly scheduled boobies...

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

Well said Robyn, so very well said. We love you just as you are 'cause you are one incredible, amazing hot momma! *hugs*

¤ ¤ credit: munin | 11.07.02 at 07:46 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Beautiful post, Robyn, and thanks for vocalizing what many of us struggle with daily.

¤ ¤ credit: Mariann | 11.07.02 at 08:32 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

You mean that's not you in the thong? :)

¤ ¤ credit: cordle | 11.07.02 at 08:55 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

You asked the question: why to women tear into each other? I think it's a deep down survival of the fittest mentality - and I don't mean physical fitness - I'm talking about the deep rooted need to be better. So, I think that's what women do: "I may be a size 12, but I'm not fat like THAT girl" sort of attitude.

It's wrong. It's terrible and it makes me fear for my daughters' self-images because of it...

¤ ¤ credit: deb | 11.07.02 at 09:15 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Women can be very cruel. But I agree about helping a friend to spend a holiday with another friend. You are, indeed, a good friend.

¤ ¤ credit: sandy | 11.07.02 at 09:23 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Just remember... Anyone below a size fourteen is below average! (sure it means the average woman.. but when you are above a 14 it sure feels great to think of yourself as above average intelligence...) And I just had to say I love the twinkie comment... You should write greeting cards. Just kidding! :)

¤ ¤ credit: Another Deb | 11.07.02 at 09:32 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

You have to feel sorry for people so insecure that they have to tear down others based on physical appearance. It is sad. I guess I am particularly sensitive since my wife was a beautiful blonde, athletic, flat-tummy goddess who turned heads like a motha when we got married. But it was not her outward beauty that hooked me, it was the person inside that I fell in love with. It was a good thing too because several years of chemo, radiation, numerous surgeries and countless hospital stays have left her not even remotely close (physically anyway) to the blonde bomb I married. I have seen other women in her situation who have had there shallow husbands abandon them when they start to change their appearance because of the cancer treatment. That is the saddest thing you can ever imagine. So for all you folks so hooked on your looks and ripping others because of theirs I have one hope for you. I hope that you keep your good looks forever, I hope that you never get cancer or some other disease that could alter your pretty face. Because you are not strong enough nor do you have the character it would take to survive it. Life can be a bitch, believe me. Shake yourself and figure out their is more to a person than dress size. But until then, bite me!


¤ ¤ credit: JE | 11.07.02 at 10:29 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

how old was the person who made the comment?

that is the dumbest statement i ever heard. i'm not even going to state the obvious mean factor.

i'm just going to totally rip on how dumb it sounds.

¤ ¤ credit: dasheekeejones | 11.07.02 at 10:52 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

After much thought about this, I want to put in my $0.02 (do I get change back?)

In this Internet age we live in, things are so visual. People make their opinions based upon how someone's website looks, or even a picture posted. Do they really know who the person is? No. That's what is upsetting. These shallow, self-less people will lash out and hurt someone, because they feel they have the right to. Do we truly know the person based on their website or photo? NO!

I myself, have never met, Statia (even though we live 35 min away) or Robyn/Todd, Annessa or most of the people that I tend to read on a daily basis. I have no clue what goes on in their personal lives or even what struggles they may face. Because of that we need to learn (and don't we all wish this was possible) to show the same courtesies that we would want directed back at us.

When I saw the pictures of Todd's 30th party (I'm jealous as hell, mine was at a friggen bowling alley) I saw a group of friends who were comfortable in who they were. You all are very fortunate to have met each other.

So let the shallow people stay shallow. They'll always be one step behind wishing their lives had a portion of happiness that you all share.

¤ ¤ credit: whistler | 11.07.02 at 11:02 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I can't believe someone would say such a thing... No, wait. I can. I have to agree with Deb on this one, it's partially a defense mechanism why women go straight for the one thing society constantly harps on us for. I mean, I know myself, I'm trying to lose weight, but the moment I can do so faster than some of the other women I know, I probably won't hear from them again cause their only saving grace is that they're not as big as me, thus making them feel better.

But if everyone's friends and not that superficial (yeah, I've yet to meet a decent amount of non-superficial people IRL), why should anyone be embarrassed to be anywhere, clothed or not, with someone who's not a size 6? It is some sort of reputation threatening thing to be seen in public with someone would couldn't purchase their outfit from some retail outlet that only goes up to size 12?

*Sigh* I could go on but the whole thing just makes me sick. I think it would be more embarrassing to be caught with a public comment about your predjucies regarding weight... Although I agree, I wouldn't want comments that bashed my friends sitting on my site, it would have certainly have weeded the rest of the twatwaffles out too...

¤ ¤ credit: Veshka | 11.07.02 at 11:25 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Sad....very very sad.

¤ ¤ credit: sphinx | 11.07.02 at 11:34 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I just wanted to say... {{{hugs}}} and I know you're beautiful inside and out, no matter what.

¤ ¤ credit: Cheryl | 11.07.02 at 12:21 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

all I saw was a bunch of hot bodies. Why does Todd get all the play? Someone get ME out there, dangit!!!

¤ ¤ credit: hoopty | 11.07.02 at 12:22 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

This guy must be quite a babe to pass such judgment on the other party-goers. [wink]

I saw several beautiful women in the hot tub pics and only one good looking guy, the birthday boy. Guess I missed Brad Pitt stopping by.

¤ ¤ credit: trish | 11.07.02 at 12:25 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

*HUGS* Girlie! We all come in different packages, isn't that what makes us both human and beautiful?

The shallow comment should be ignored, yay, you are doing that! Shallow people always have something to say about someone else, as they are either jealous or just plain stupid.

I have been a number of sizes and weights since I have been alive. I'm grateful that I'm alive, first off and secondly that I have love in my life.

*HUGS* Love you girlie!

¤ ¤ credit: Simply Sara | 11.07.02 at 12:58 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

As I recall, every girl in those pictures was beautiful and sexy.

Do not let one cretin's remark make you feel bad in any way. You (all of you who were there) are far more beautiful, gracious and loving than that pig could ever hope to be in ten lifetimes.

¤ ¤ credit: michele | 11.07.02 at 02:45 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

dasheekeejones, she is in her late 20s. And Veshka, twatwaffles? I am so saving that one!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 11.07.02 at 02:47 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'm with the defence mechanism posts. (I'm, I think, a US size 14) and I supose, I could be thinner.

I could also be less well read, less knowledgable, less fun, less appreciative of good food and drink, with less leisure time cos of the hours spent at the gym!. And I could be setting myself up for osteoporosis in later life.

I sat opposite someone on a train. She was thin, heavily made up, and wearing the latest cheap fashion clothes, whilst filing her nails. She looked me up and down, and gave me a withering, dismissive look. I knew that she disapproved of me being plump, non-made-up, and wearing a plain business suit (and Doc Martens) I noticed that after I glanced momentarily away from the Seriously Intellectual Article (TM) I was reading in a current affairs magazine.

Who's happier?

¤ ¤ credit: Gert | 11.07.02 at 03:01 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hey... it's all pink in the middle.

¤ ¤ credit: Chris Pirillo | 11.07.02 at 03:27 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

*snort* Veshka, Twatwaffles. I'm so stealing that!!! Hoopty, you gotta show your rack to raise money!!!

¤ ¤ credit: statia | 11.07.02 at 03:28 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

People who cruelly judge "attractiveness" by how much someone weighs are in the same category as super-skinny people who complain about how fat they are just so someone will tell them they're thin.

Both types piss me off beyond belief.

¤ ¤ credit: leandra | 11.07.02 at 03:38 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Good God, Chris! Everyone, I apologize for the husband and his remark...

*takes the broom to her horribly offensive S.O. to shoo him back into the doghouse*

¤ ¤ credit: Gretchen | 11.07.02 at 03:49 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Don't be too hard on him Gretchen -- it darn near caused a spit-take with me!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 11.07.02 at 03:55 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I am in awe of how many people wrote such wonderful comments. I'd have to agree with them all. (FYI...I laughed out loud at twatwaffles...that's definitely a new one for me)

¤ ¤ credit: Stacy | 11.07.02 at 04:00 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'm so full of "Whatever" for that girl that I can't be bothered to do more than raise an eyebrow.

Jealous, much?

¤ ¤ credit: VASpider | 11.07.02 at 04:06 PM | link--this ¤ ¤


You know my comments.

She should savor the flavor and keep quiet.

¤ ¤ credit: dasheekeejones | 11.07.02 at 04:15 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Wonderful post Robyn. I will never understand women who insult other women with the "your fat" comments. I think they are just denying that maybe themselves are not that size 2 thus wanting to attack others because they feel badly about themselves. Everyone is beautiful no matter the size.

¤ ¤ credit: Tam | 11.07.02 at 04:37 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'm 5'10" and a size 20. There. I said it. And you know what? I am comfortable with myself the way I am.

I followed the webcam of Todd's party, and I went and read the blogs of all of the people who were there. And they are all beautiful people...inside and out!

This *sizeist* crap just chaps my ass...big time!

¤ ¤ credit: Christine with an M. | 11.07.02 at 04:49 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

i had a wonderfully funny comment, but i forgot it once i read this. Gretchen, you married that guy?

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 11.07.02 at 05:37 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I pity that shallow, mean-spirited girl (no, honey, when you act like a spiteful 12 year-old, you have not attained *real* womanhood) because her nastiness will eventually bite her in her little size 2 ass. But even my pity doesn't get in the way of my hope that it'll bite her sooner rather than later.

¤ ¤ credit: Jen | 11.07.02 at 06:54 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hey everybody, don't forget the best rejoinder to "You're fat!": "Yeah? And you're ugly. At least I can lose weight!" (And spiritual ugliness is the one thing that even surgery can't repair.)

¤ ¤ credit: Andrea Harris | 11.07.02 at 08:53 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Andrea's right. I almost bought a t-shirt that said that even...

And the whole "twatwaffle" thing isn't mine, but damn, I had to use it somewhere. It's a keeper :)

¤ ¤ credit: Veshka | 11.08.02 at 12:15 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

please show me your beautiful body without clothes with an excellent breasts

¤ ¤ credit: saad majidullah | 12.12.02 at 12:44 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Over time EVERYTHING sags, grows, shrinks, and in general changes. On the outside I am not the man my wife married; likewise she doesn't look like the woman I married (even if that is all I see whenever I look at her). Reading your blog over the past couple of months, Robyn, I wish I could meet you IRL but I know that will never happen. I hope Todd realizes what a gread lady he has. Looks have never put me off, only negative attitude. If you look like Heidi Klum but are negative, I want to put as much space as I can between us. However I'd snuggle up with Hatchetface in "Cry Baby" if her attitude is fun. Remember - the ONLY erogenous zone on the body is the brain. Perception is everything!

¤ ¤ credit: Bill | 12.12.02 at 07:30 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

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