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The AAA #1 Blog - now with cleavage!
 Spotted over at Seki's -- Amish Tech Support weighs in on Getting a Hook for Your Blog. "If a clueless runt like Rebecca Blood can shove crap between two covers and sell it, so can I..."
posted at 10:39 PM | link--it | mail it | (10) shout it



Make boobage, not war
 Back to the top...'cause I like it on top. If you haven't voted yet -- scoot! And the photo is just double-incentive from me in case you're being a slacker.


posted at 09:30 PM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it



It's not easy bein' green
 Hey, what dumbass decided to suit up the Irish in green today? Do they know nothing about karma and superstition (since the last time the Irish wore green, in a '99 bowl game, they also lost)? So this week I'd like to say that Miami has made a believer out of me. I've had doubts all season, but that comeback against Rutgers this afternoon has shown me they're for real. (Hey, you can't fault a girl for tryin'! I stick with what works.)

Hybl had another lackluster day for the Sooners, but once again our Defense showed they were the best in the nation. I'm still chuckling at the ABC breakdown for Nate though. I shit you not, they said he was the four "O's", and two of them were obedient and oral. Oral. Who writes this stuff? That's almost t-shirt worthy right there... Oral. Oh baby!

We were supposed to meet Stacy and Dan down in Clearwater tonight after the game, but ended up coming straight home. I'm not feelin' so hot and have a date with the couch and my b'ankie. Sorry guys! Hope everyone's having a great weekend! And Boomer frickin' Sooner, mmmk?
posted at 08:34 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



Anyone up for bar-b-chewed Buffalo?

posted at 01:23 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



Rock the vote
 This is for all of my Florida and Tampa Bay area readers: The St. Petersburg Times has put together an excellent rundown of all of the candidates in Tuesday's general election, and a full list of all 10 Constitutional Amendments up for consideration and what they mean (including changes to the death penalty, prohibiting smoking, and reducing the class size in public schools).

We're already a national joke. Let's not be individual ones, too. Take the time to be informed!
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5 things you may not know about this site but should
  1. You don't have to be stuck looking at Gwen. Unless of course you just want to. There are thirteen other design choices here, including one that will disguise my blog as a Word document for work. If you don't like the skin you select first-try, just go back and pick a new one.
  2. There are two hidden "Easter Egg" skins not on the skins index page mentioned above. You have to hunt for them though. Clues are in the sidebar.
  3. You can subscribe to my blog via e-mail. You'll get a daily digest of my posts in case you don't have web access at work.
  4. If you're looking for an old post or comment, you can just do an advanced search for them here.
  5. This blog even has a PDA version you can subscribe to! (You can view the template for it here, and Meryl has put together a tutorial on how to do it for your own blogs here.)
For this, and other useless facts, just snoop around the sidebar... And a Bonus Tip for MT users that you may, or may not, already know about. You can view what people are searching for on your blog (via MT Search) by viewing your Activity Log in MT 2.5+. Go to the "Main Menu", and you'll find the Activity Log link to the right.
posted at 11:41 PM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it



Medieval times
 The November 2002 (wedding) Dress of the Month is up online!
posted at 11:08 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it



And I'm familiar with the Kama Sutra
I've taken it down to save on bandwidth. E-mail me if you want it!
posted at 09:13 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it



Never, ever go by the letter
 I don't have time to eat out tonight, so I brought the restaurant to us. If you want the Pasta Milano at Romano's Macaroni Grill, but not the $30 check, see the recipe I just posted at The Red Kitchen.
posted at 07:55 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it



The Jerky Girls
 Funniest. Voicemail message. Ever. (Last 10 seconds edited out to remove phone number.)

posted at 04:58 PM | link--it | mail it | (11) shout it



Who's got the last laugh now
 Every once in awhile, among all the "tear-jerker" forwards, my mom will send something that makes me chuckle. So now, you can, too.

Men are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that's not going to happen."

In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs. Then you lean too far and you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, I wish you'd come to me sooner.

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.

You read about all these terrorists - most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
posted at 03:24 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



Thank god it's Friday!
 Say it loud and say it proud -- it's finally Friday boys and girls!

  1. If you can't stand the heat...get out the double-wide kitchen!
  2. And suddenly images from "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" come flooding back...
  3. Pssst...hey kid...the Internet is free.
  4. It is in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat gather coffee beans every morning.
  5. Pot - it's not just for Glaucoma anymore. "I'll ask my doctor."
And now...your moment of zen... Happy (almost) weekend!
posted at 06:22 AM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



No more monkeys jumpin' on the bed!
 Him (during Conan O'Brien): Oh look! A damn dirty ape!
Me: That's a wolfman, dumbass.
Him: (sheepishly) Oh yeah, I guess you're right...
Me: And you call me blonde?

We've really got to do something about that obsession of his...
posted at 12:52 AM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



We're a couple of misfits
 UPDATE: To everyone searching for this, if you can't find it at Target -- or don't have a Target store near you, I found it for sale on the Amazon/Target website! They aren't currently in stock but you can request to be e-mailed for updates when available.



To make up for my lack of Halloween cheer, I decided to start on Christmas just a few weeks early. Lookee what we bought at Tarjhét tonight! They're all separate pieces, and three guesses what Todd sneaks off to work with in the morning...
posted at 12:37 AM | link--it | mail it | (17) shout it






The pumpkin patch that's the least sincere
 Last year, we went all out for the first Halloween in our new house -- decorations, tons of treats, a few tricks. We had so many kids coming by that by about 8 o'clock we were having this discussion, "Crap, we have like NO candy left! Do you think they'd notice if we threw a few Taco Bell fire sauce packets in their bag? Give me some of your pocket change. I'll tie up more in little baggies with ribbon. Oooh, here's some Arby's sauce! Maybe we could put Crisco in those little plastic cups with lids?" We turned off the porch lights and the living room lights, and they STILL knocked on the door. I think Todd actually handed out a couple of packs of Tic Tacs at that point.

This year, I just do not want to deal with it. I've been sick for almost two weeks, I have a ton of work to do, and quite frankly I'm being selfish. I don't want to share my Tootsie Roll Pop stash! So here I am sitting in the near-dark waiting for Todd to come home and take me out to eat, praying Claire doesn't burst through the blinds with all the little gobblins starting to venture around outside blowing my cover, and I'm refusing to open the front door. And I don't feel bad about it. We don't have kids, so it's not like I'll be getting any of the neighbor's candy back or anything. Nyah nyah.

Flaming bags of poo. It's a memory I'll always cherish.
posted at 05:48 PM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it



The trick is to keep breathing
 Just in case you've somehow missed it in the past Graphics by Sara has an excellent tutorials section -- including a subsection devoted to Movable Type. They've got tutorials on setting MT up for the first time (standard installs and non-cgi bin installs), how to use comment notification, how to make your comments talk, and more. If you're just setting up a blog, or want to learn a few tricks along the way -- this site and Scripty Goddess are two must-visits!
posted at 04:39 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it



Kiss my grits
 The MT 2.51 upgrade has been released -- you can see the changelog for more details. However, one of the best reasons to upgrade, IMHO, is that it finally includes templates that will pass the RSS Validator test. So upgrade, and test your RSS today!
posted at 02:36 AM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it



(A Small) Victory waits on your fingers!
 I don't give out the "please go vote" call often, but the woman I aspire to be is in a head-to-head battle for the "most blood-hungry (war)blogger" -- poll in left sidebar. Choose A Small Victory. Do it for the children.
posted at 01:56 AM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



They love you when you're on all the covers
 Please click the following links responsibly: We were just watching Bill Mahr on Leno, and the guest on after him was Marilyn Manson. At the end they mentioned his girlfriend being on the cover of the current Playboy (Marilyn took the photos), and my jaw hit the floor when Jay held up the issue. How does a guy like that get a girl like this? And of course, being easily smitten by good corset photos, I went off in search of her website and found it here.

This should give geeks and freaks in high school a lot of hope...go crazy with the eyeliner, blood lipstick, white powder, freaky contacts and scream at the top of your lungs...and you, too, can date a Playmate!
posted at 12:54 AM | link--it | mail it | (17) shout it






A decent respect to the Opinions of Mankind
 If you've read my blog for long, you've probably noticed that I generally shy away from political discussion, save the occasional "I'm sick of my fellow citizens shooting up children and their protectors" handgun rants. I stick with the fluff. Which might seem quite odd if you know much about me. I graduated with a minor in Political Science, but that was actually my major (and intended degree) during my first three years at OU.

When I was being advised for my senior year graduation-check, for the first time the Poli Sci department handled my capstone planning instead of the Honors Program. That was also the first time an "oops" was discovered. I had attended Oklahoma Baptist University before entering OU, and came in with enough hours from that, CLEP and AP courses to be considered a sophomore. Well no one bothered to notice in all that time that even though I'd earned credit hours pre-1991, it was from a private institution. The graduation guidelines had changed in 1991, requiring everyone who entered OU during and after 1991 to take another year's worth of courses. So here I am two semesters away from what I thought was a sure graduation -- and I learned "not so fast". At the time my History credits (my then-minor) equaled my Poli Sci ones. And the History Dept. did accept private school credits for the pre-1991 students. I could change majors and still graduate on time. Or I could hang around yet another year taking freshman level courses to get my Poli Sci degree. Looking back, it was the stupidest decision I'd ever made. At the time you just want to get OUT. But when you're out, you realize those days are gone and you can't get them back. And I have a B.A. in History because of it.

Perhaps that's part of why I'm generally anything but political here. I'm still very bitter that the path I had mapped out my whole life was snatched from me at the very last minute. I told every teacher and counselor I had from the seventh grade on (thanks to Linda Hockmeyer at Waller Junior High in Enid, OK) that I was going to major in Political Science. My young dreams, before health got in the way, included joining the Secret Service and eventually working for election campaigns and perhaps as a Congressional Aide. But suddenly here I was in the real world...with a History degree. And I had a job I loved totally unrelated to anything with my schooling (isn't that always the case), and my life-road forked.

Another reason could be the way -- and where -- I was raised. From the day I got old enough to talk, I knew anything and everything having to do with the President and Congress, and I only agreed with the majority in Congress. I grew up during the Reagan-Bush era in a very religious, very conservative family in the buckle of the Bible Belt. My views on a woman's right to choose weren't exactly appreciated. I think my mother is still horrified that she managed to raise not one -- but two -- liberals. My grandfather would not tolerate anything negative being said against President Reagan. So I didn't. I learned how to form, and carry, my views while sticking to them silently. I registered to vote the day I turned 18, and I registered voters during my first Presidential election with the OU Student Democrats and Students for Choice.

Rarely will you find a political discussion where you can change the other side's views simply by quoting facts and statistics. Because in the end, statistics are the pretty wrapping on a whole (sometimes ugly) package full of emotion and feeling. And you can't change another person's feelings. You just...can't. Only time, age and experience can do so.

Which brings me to the purpose of this entry. (Yes, there really is one.) I am extremely proud of my husband tonight. He went out on a limb tonight to speak his views, "popular" or not. We had one of those "so that is why I married you" discussions over dinner last night that has obviously cleared out a few cobwebs in both of our core belief-systems. Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean that we have to, too. It doesn't make us un-American, although I'm sure there are several TV ads, country songs, and blog entries that would like to make you believe so. It makes us Americans. Because in this country we have the power to form our own opinion -- and then speak it.

And if you doubt that, I suggest you go back and read the history of how this nation was founded. By the way, that's the History major in me talking...
posted at 09:21 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it



Weez-a-rific!


Well look what showed up today after all -- Rivers Cuomo not included! Yippee! (This photo just submitted to Picture Yourself.)
posted at 03:39 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it



Debbie does...Broadway?
 Here's another news story that somehow managed to slip by me last week... "Take a porn flick, remove the sex -- and let everyone sing and dance and keep their clothes on. What have you got? Debbie Does Dallas, a cheerful, nudity-free retooling of the '70s hard-core classic, in a downtown theater." It opened yesterday at off-Broadway's Jane Street Theater in New York -- and according to the ad, "If you're old enough to ride the Ferris wheel, you're old enough to see Debbie."

Remember that episode from Friends where Phoebe got possessed by the dead lady that wanted to see everything before she died, and finally did at Carol's wedding? Uhhhhh...yeah, I think that's me now.
posted at 10:59 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it



They cut off my legs now I'm an amputee, goddamn you
 All I'm sayin', and you can quote me on this, is that my new Weezer shirt had best not be on that truck or someone is gonna pay!
posted at 04:50 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it



Holding on, hold it high, show me everything
But I keep on a comin' here and standing in this state
And I'm never really sure if you'll take
What I'm saying the right way...

But I'm not appalled or afraid
Verbal pocket play is as discreet as I can muster up to be
Because the Cadillac that's sittin' in the back
It isn't me - oh no, no, no it isn't me
I'm more at home in my galaxie...

Can I do the things I wanna do
That I don't do because of you
And I'll take a left, then I'll second guess into a total mess...

I'm more at home in my galaxie

posted at 03:46 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it



X marks the spot
 While we were at the grocery store tonight, we ran across something that reminded us of Chris, so Todd snapped a picture for posterity.
posted at 12:30 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






I offer good nutrition in a simple way
 Tonight was kinda like one of those Time Life commercials... While Statia was making homemade Italian herb bread, 1000 miles away Robyn was at Publix picking up the ingredients for 'Nana Nut Bread. It's baking right now and I'll share. Anyone hungry?
posted at 11:53 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it



Simply Delish!
 Erika at Snazzykat has put together another amazing creation -- simply delish. She always has the most amazing designs I've ever seen, and now she's offering those skillz up to everyone else in the blog world.

So go check her out. And welcome to the dark side, Erika! First round's on me...
posted at 10:37 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it



If I'm to be your camera, then who will be your face?
 Spotted over at Christine's and Dawn's -- "Photoblogs.org - The Photoblog Resource". I've added Shutterblog. Go add your sites -- and vote -- too!
posted at 06:01 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it



Can't...breathe...laughing too hard...
 This deserves more than just a mention in my comments:

"Oh my god, that bitch stole my HTML!" Thanks Sweetie!
posted at 04:24 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it



Fast, slow, fast fast slow
 Reckless driving is a sin. Let that be a lesson to ya'!
posted at 05:49 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it



A pre-dawn tree-hugging, hippie liberal rant
 You can quote the Second Amendment to me all you want. I for one am. Sick. Of This. Shit. And I'm sick of the same old "guns don't kill people..." lines. It's to the point I'm almost grateful that I don't have a child, so I don't have to conduct a 3-hour interview with so-and-so's parents about their beliefs and responsibility concerning gun ownership and use before I allow my daughter / son to go across the street and play with Barbies / GI Joe. You cannot possibly give me ANY explanation that is good enough for a civilian to own a Bushmaster .223. You can try. But that doesn't mean I'll agree.

You don't need that much fire-power with cop-killing bullets to kill Bambi for dinner, or defend your family during a break-in.

When our forefathers founded this country, they were loading muskets. You had to sit there and really think what you were doing as you added and packed the gunpowder. Who could have ever dreamed we'd have the firepower available five minutes away at the Wal Mart on the corner like we do today? What is so wrong with tracing a gun to its owner anyway? We have to register our cars. We have to file to buy a house. We have to register to fucking fish in a lake, as well as register the boat to get us there. If you're planning on using it responsibly in the first place, why does anyone care that the weapon is being registered? Idiots with guns are killing people. Period. And I'm sick about worrying when lay-off cuts hit my husband's company, that one of the people let go is going to come back and shoot everyone there. Something has to be done, because I'm sorry folks -- the current system is not working. </off soapbox>
posted at 05:39 AM | link--it | mail it | (26) shout it



Do your boobs hang low? Can you swing 'em to and fro?
 WARNING: If you click the image link(s) while at work or in the presence of minors, you are an idiot. The image is X-rated. Open at your own risk. I've included a censored version, but there's only so much you can hide.

Christine and I have a fun little tradition. Every once in awhile we'll send each other the most amusing, outrageous porn spam we get. Well I got the ad below in the mail tonight. And I immediately thought of this blog entry.

(Open the can of porn spam here. Or open the censored version here.) "Are you tired of staring at the wife? Are her sagging boobs not doing it for you anymore?" Can't. Stop. Laughing.

P.S. Lock up the credit card, Christine!
posted at 01:44 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






Faking fall

After a trip to Pier 1, Eastern Standard Time is just a wee bit easier to deal with. The only way we can recreate "autumn" here in the Sunshine State is by sense of smell. Tomorrow's forecast is 87° and muggy. Sigh. Now winter...you can keep that to yourselves, thank you very much. But I'd love to see the turning leaves and actually need a sweatshirt right about now.
posted at 11:25 PM | link--it | mail it | (10) shout it



Do my tears of mourning sink beneath the sun
 I hate it being dark before Todd even gets home. Bah. Humbug.
posted at 06:25 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it



Last call!
 Submissions for the 2002 Dress Contest end at 11:59 p.m. EST this coming Thursday night (October 31st). If you've been putting off your entry 'til now, the procrastination deadline has arrived!



posted at 05:16 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it



The Sooners Prayer
 Our Bob in Norman hallowed be your name. Bud and Barry's kingdom come; your will will be done on the field as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily texas thumping and forgive us for the 90s, as we have also forgiven the NCAA. Lead us not out of the BCS but deliver us to Tempe. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are OU's now and forever. Amen.


I just wrote the above to Todd in an e-mail. Can you tell we're just a wee bit excited that ABC will be televising the OU/Colorado game and the OU/Texas A&M game nationally? We're finally coming out of the 90s no-coverage darkness and into the light!
posted at 04:22 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



Wahoo!
 Go give lotsa mad-lovin' to Todd, because he just PASSED round-2 of his MCSE 2000 exams! (He's already an MCSE, but his company forced all of the systems engineers to upgrade whether they wanted to or not...) He had to study like mad this weekend since they gave him four days notice last week on the next test date. But that's twice they've crunch-timed him like this -- and twice he's passed. *sniff* He's my very special boy...
posted at 03:50 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it



It's not unusual
 I found this life-reality-check entry worth sharing over at The Couch this evening. And then I went and had one of those moments myself...from MSNBC.com:
Tom Jones' panty-tossing fans just aren’t what they used to be. Back when frenzied ladies reached up and impulsively yanked off their skivvies, "the whole thing was authentic" says Jones, but not so anymore. "Nowadays, they bring along a plastic bag with their underwear in it," Jones told the German magazine Bunte. "It has nothing to do with enthusiasm any more. I actually take it as an insult."
I mean, it only goes to reason that if his fan's couches are now covered in plastic zip-covers, their undies would be as well. But you've gotta feel for the guy. No, really... Maybe he should talk to Kylie Minogue. Apparently "her" knickers were framed and for sale.
posted at 03:35 AM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



You're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
 Yeah, yeah...I'm supposed to be working right now...but I'd rather take the "80s Purity Test" instead. Won't you please join me?
posted at 02:56 AM | link--it | mail it | (15) shout it






Don't call it a comeback
 If you've read here long enough, you pretty much know that my hair color changes more often than most folks change their underwear. So after seeing Christine's purple hair and Susan's pink hair, I could no longer resist. I'm back to pink and blonde again, baby! (If you missed the first time around, those photos are here.) Guess who's back and you're gonna be in trouble...
posted at 09:38 PM | link--it | mail it | (28) shout it



My Johnson sucks and blows
 For the love of all things pigskin, please give up the failed science experiment and friggin' PUT KING IN!
posted at 03:45 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it



Shaken, not stirred
 InStyle has released their Bar Guide 2002. Although I couldn't afford to order a water at most of the establishments listed, they also included mixed drink recipes at the bottom of each page. The "cinq à sept" from Le Bar in Chicago sounds yummy and the "gummy baby" from Baby's in Vegas is just beautiful.



posted at 02:55 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



Like a virgin
 From FARK.com: "Star Firsts". I really can live a complete and full life without knowing the details of Dick Cavett's blossoming sex life though -- I didn't click that link.
posted at 03:00 AM | link--it | mail it | (0) shout it



Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives, and I decline...


I don't read Doonesbury, and somehow managed to miss this week's strips 'til now, but apparently the latest series was devoted to blogging (starting here). There's nothing earth-shattering or ground-breaking, but it's interesting to see just how far the phenomenon (do do do do do) has spread. Phenomenon (do do do do).
posted at 02:20 AM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it