Black cat, nine lives - short days, long nights
Raise your hand if you're having a true Friday the 13th:

I just had usernames and passwords on an MT site I'm designing quit working for no apparent reason. They didn't work for Stacy either. When I started to panic and cry...they worked again... I think I'm going back to bed.
posted at 06:57 PM | link-

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Yes, words can't bring me down
Ok seriously, it was time the girl ate something. Anything. And far be it from me to cast the first Twinkie when a sistah puts on a few pounds. Especially in this anorexic entertainment day and age. But honey, honey, honey -- you cannot dress like your former size-0 hoin' self when you're just...not...anymore. It's not even that you're "fat", regardless of what the 15-year olds on FARK and SE wanna say. Truth be known, you're probably still smaller than I am. But then again, I don't leave the house in three strips of electrical tape and some fishnet either...
posted at 03:24 PM | link-

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Oh no she di'un't!
It's time to polish up the tiara again. Let's get ready to ruuuuuumble! I'd better not break a nail, or I do believe this means war.
posted at 02:44 PM | link-

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It's not having what you want - it's wanting what you've got

I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna tell everyone
To lighten up

I'm gonna tell 'em that...

I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up...

I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me
posted at 02:04 PM | link-

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It's like me, but better
Even though I still accidentally use enough shampoo to clean an entire African village (and wouldn't that be fun trying to fit them all in my shower) -- I am lovin' this short hair at almost a week, post. I forgot all about the benefits of bed-head!
posted at 12:41 PM | link-

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I'm not that innocent

"London's Madame Tussaud's museum are making an image of the singer [Britney Spears] that features her in a sexy pole-dancing pose, with her back arched and chest thrust out.

They will also incorporate a 'breathing' mechanism in the $73,000 likeness.

A source tells Britain's the Sun, 'For the first time we are installing balloons in her chest so it heaves in and out.'" [link]

Can someone please explain to me how exactly the wax version differs from the real version then? Happy Friday the 13th everyone!
posted at 09:09 AM | link-

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Don't try this at home
I'm not feeling so hot this evening, so we're curled up on the couch watching the "That's Incredible" Reunion. I'm not sure which is more incredible. The stunts. Or that thing John Davidson calls 'hair' on the top of his head...
posted at 08:46 PM | link-

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Smoke 'em while you got 'em!

[Go here for lyrics]

posted at 06:27 PM | link-

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If she's a virgin, I'm up for sainthood

"Jennifer Lopez is virtually a virgin, according to loved-up Ben Affleck. The woman's been with, like, five guys in her whole life,' announced gallant Ben, exposing the intimate details of his fiancee's love life in a recent interview. 'There aren't many virgins in their thirties,' he said, having evidently hunted high and Lo. 'Jen's about as close as you're likely to find, certainly in Hollywood.' This kind of logic seems also to have infected pure-as-driven-Snowpez. 'I have such respect for the institution of marriage,' opined the Latina lovely after a raunchy photo shoot. 'I don't believe people should spend their lives together if they're not going to be totally happy.' A woman of principle, it has taken three weddings and counting for her to prove just how much respect she has for holy bond of matrimony." [link]

And in other Dumb and Dumberer news, Jennifer has apparently fired the manager responsible for her meteoric rise to the top because fiancé Ben 'made it clear he was not happy with the way her image was being managed'. A source says, "He hated how Benny [Medina] created this diva image of Jen. It was like the studio was dealing with two stars not one. And she was blamed for it. Jennifer never really cared. Benny made her." Mmmm...hmmm... She's a diva because Benny made it look that way. Not because she's a money-grubbing, tantrum-throwing, twat-snot. Yep, that must be it! (Read more at The Daily Dish.)
posted at 05:28 PM | link-

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And never, ever let you forget you're a man
I point you towards my comment of the day. Go on, top it. I dare you...
posted at 06:58 AM | link-

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No huggin', no kissin' until I get a weddin' vow
WM! just got a new banner advertiser today -- Photos-To-Video. Please check them out!
posted at 08:07 PM | link-

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Iff'n it's free, it's for me
Here's a series of "quick tips for new bloggers" that you don't gotta pay for. Eleven of 'em. Go crazy, kids. (Link swiped from Venomous Kate.)
posted at 06:17 PM | link-

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You're pre-approved!
Here's a wonderful new MT hack from the Scripty Goddesses -- comment pending queue. If you've been plagued by comment-trolls, or just want more control over your comments, this script allows your comments to be pending rather than instantly published. You can login, view, edit, delete and approve comments before they're made public. Go here for more information.
posted at 04:36 PM | link-

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Rescue me - your love has given me hope

"We are not a group of stupid, naive women," she said. "We are bright, intellectual, professional women. I can't tell you how much he wooed us with his words. He made us feel like goddesses, fairy princesses, Cinderellas. We had all found our Superman, our knight in shining armor." [link]

Therein lies the problem, dearie. Not so much that you've accepted a proposal from a married man you've never met, sight-unseen, off the Internet who's also proposed to at least 50 other women. It's the fact you're a grown 'intellectual' still buying into the theory of fairy princesses, Cinderella stories, Clark Kent swooping down from the heavens to rescue you from your self-imposed tower and ride off with you like a white knight on a steed...

Real, true love isn't like that. You have to work at it. It's not always perfect, with the sheets covered in rose petals. Champagne doesn't freely flow from all water faucets. You have to be able to walk through hell and back, hand in hand. God, I see the woman that raised me in the words above. I'm so lucky it never sunk in...
posted at 01:26 PM | link-

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Show mommy how the piggies eat
Oh wonderful. Another year of "poor, fat Renee" jokes -- and how amazing she is for losing all that weight -- ahead. They're making a sequel to "Bridget Jones's Diary". You have to pity her for these 'grueling preparations' that take 'guts':

"You've got to eat 20 [doughnuts] a day for five weeks to get results...absolutely no exercise and a daily intake of 4,700 calories. Breakfast is a Big Mac and large fries, savoury scones with gravy and a high-fat milkshake. A snack lunch includes pizza, peanut butter and chips, washed down with the aforementioned doughnuts...a giant plate of spaghetti Bolognese with potatoes and butter." [link]

Getting paid 15 million pounds for that? Where do I sign up? Personally, I think she looks much better when you can't count the individual bones in her ribcage area...but that's just me...
posted at 08:03 AM | link-

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Come up and see me, make me smile
Yes, you're funny -- but if you make me tear up one more time, Dat Phan -- I'm coming to Vegas to personally kick your ass. This is a comedy show!

Anyone else out there watching?
posted at 10:00 PM | link-

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Found over at Solonor's (who I'd best link again or I'm in trouble)...apparently today is "Tag Tuesday" in the blogging world. UPDATE: Praise Solonor!
posted at 05:35 PM | link-

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Give 'til it hurts
Since the theme of this week seems to be "begging for dollars", here's a Wired News article on cyber-panhandlers, and the virtual well running dry. Looks like Karyn and the boob girl will be some of the last to profit...
posted at 04:42 PM | link-

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I can bitch, I can bitch - 'cuz I'm better than you
So, do you think I've become too bitter a person in my old age?

(poll closed)

And if you answered yes, admit it -- you like me better that way, don't you?

(poll closed)

It's nice to know these things...

UPDATE: You guys aren't very good at math. I'm going to have to rule these results as invalid and close the polls since the total 'yes/no' numbers in the second poll continued to be more than the 'yes' votes from the first. Don't say I didn't warn ya'!
posted at 03:27 PM | link-

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It's ticking away with my sanity
Just in case you think I have too much free time on my hands, check out this guy..."Dorky eBay Auctions".
posted at 03:00 PM | link-

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Brother, can you spare a dime?
Two more blogger-fundraising projects to add to the $359 blogger-purse this year...

Memory Walk 2003 for Alzheimer's
American Cancer Society Relay for Life

If you know of any other projects, please pass them along! -Robyn
posted at 12:24 PM | link-

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Mohr, Mohr, Mohr!
Finally, a "reality TV" show we can all watch without living with a secret shame... Jay Mohr's "Last Comic Standing" has its two-hour debut tonight on NBC. Oh yeah!
posted at 07:47 AM | link-

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Do you want more money? Sure! We all do!
Back at the end of December, I blogged about Andrew Sullivan begging for cash to run his blog. In one week, he raised $79,020. Yep, that's right -- SEVENTY NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS and some change. His "salary" for blogging, if you will.

But apparently, that's no longer good enough. Less than six months later, he's at it again. Michele gives a side-by-side comparison of why her blog gives more bang for the buck than Andrew's. I couldn't agree with her more.

Poor Andrew posts around the clock, seven days a week. Me, too. Poor Andrew has an overflowing inbox. Me, too. Poor Andrew doesn't have a regular income. Me, too. Poor Andrew has massive bandwidth usage. Shocker -- me, too. But "Poor Andrew" also made more in the last six months with his last little fundraiser than we both make in a year combined.

"I need a salary of sorts." Don't we all brother. Don't we all...

Might I suggest nixing the fundraiser and just moving over to Hosting Matters like the rest of us, Mr. Sullivan. They can offer customized hosting plans with unlimited bandwidth -- even dedicated servers -- and I can personally guarantee you that you won't need 4000 subscribers at $20/pop to pay for one. Skip a dinner at Olive Garden each month, and you're covered. Seriously.

~~Dumbass.~~ Oh crap. I said that outloud again. Bad Robyn! Bad, bad!
posted at 09:07 PM | link-

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Bad cop
Chris Pirillo and Lockergnome have released a guide called "Blog Traffic School".

"Chris Pirillo shows you, in 10 quick steps, the fastest, easiest way to build traffic to your blog, involve your community, post efficiently, get known for your blog's quirks, how to handle complaints and more..."

You'll even find a quote by yours-truly inside. What are you waiting for? Chop, chop!
posted at 08:43 PM | link-

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I made my bed...I'll lie in it
A follow-up on a recent entry of mine:

"...I especially apologize to Ms Hayek, who is nothing if not brilliant, with a loving relationship and a massive IQ, not to mention a firm grip and style with the English language." —Courtney Love [link]

Sounds like someone got a stern talking-to. She's such a twit!
posted at 08:05 PM | link-

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You're so fine you blow my mind!
A Bucs cheerleader is a finalist in the Cosmo Cover Girl Search. I honestly think Kayla Drawdy is the cutest of the bunch, so if you wanna vote, go here.
posted at 04:49 PM | link-

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The Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator!
This is too cool -- NASA is putting Marvin the Martian and Daffy Duck (click for photos) on two NASA Mars Exploration Rover Missions this summer. Must. Get. Them. (Link from Sensible Erection.)
posted at 02:36 PM | link-

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Screw the virtue
I am so not a patient person when it comes to waiting for the phone to ring...

It rang, and I'm not going to be a backup dancer on the Timberlake/Aguilera world tour after all. Damn it all to hell... Oh well. Maybe Destiny's Child will come-a-callin'.
posted at 02:15 PM | link-

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Feed me, Seymour
We've just spent the last two hours doing a very bad thing -- Food TV had on a special Unwrapped for Disney World, followed by an Unwrapped for Amusement and Theme Parks, followed by The Best of Amusement Parks. I am so freakin' hungry right now. Somebody bring me a turkey leg and some mac 'n' cheese, stat. I'll be your best friend...
posted at 11:04 PM | link-

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