Oh no - you're invited but your friend can't come
May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the best hooters on the 'net please stand up? I repeat, will the best hooters on the 'net please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here...

May I turn your attentions towards Michele's blog where the best cleavage of the blogging world will be competing as part of the 2002 Blogathon all day long.
posted at 02:05 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (6) shout it

This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby!
Note to self: Keep sex toys at home when flying Delta from here

CLEARWATER, Florida (AP) -- A woman who says she was pulled off an airplane and asked to take a sex toy out of her luggage after it started vibrating is suing Delta Air Lines, saying she was publicly humiliated.

Renee Koutsouradis, 36, said she was with her husband awaiting takeoff from Dallas in February when her name was called over the loudspeaker.

She said she was met by a Delta security agent who told her something was vibrating in one of her bags. She said she explained it was an adult toy that she and her husband had just bought on a trip to Las Vegas. She said the agent took her to the bag on the tarmac and made her remove the toy and hold it up, according to the lawsuit filed Wednesday. Some passengers on the plane saw everything, and three male Delta employees "began laughing hysterically" and made "obnoxious and sexually harassing comments."

Koutsouradis was allowed to repack and return to her seat. (Read full article at CNN.com.)
posted at 04:17 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (13) shout it

For the guy who has everything
When the birthday boy gets to unwrap Gretchen at the end of the night, he's pretty much got everything a man could ever need right there in front of him...so what's a girl to do? I searched the 'net far and wide for just the right card. This one seemed a little lame. This one was right out (and would probably be good cause for a restraining order). This one hit a little closer to the mark...but I felt the need to keep looking... And this one would probably get the both of us in trouble if he collected. So instead, I just made my own! Happy 29th birthday Chris (spankings optional)!

posted at 12:08 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (14) shout it

To the heart, tick tock you don't stop
Ok, this one caused a very big giggle...wouldn't it be amusing if I ended up being the one in the family on Viagra one day? I have Neurally Mediated Hypotension. CNN.com has a new article titled "Surprise! Viagra helps children with pulmonary hypertension"! Little. Blue. (Slightly) diifferent (diagnoses). I'll ask my doctor...
posted at 06:19 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

On the cover of the Rolling Stone
And a few reads for your Thursday "it's not Friday yet, waaah!" viewing pleasure:

Thought Puddles - maybe this will help cheer 'er up!
Pizza Dreams - someone that loves Rita's as much as I do
Have a cuppa? - same blog time, same blog channel
kellycaldwell.com - why wasn't I reading this blog before now?

BONUS: Do us all a favor and go read Hormonal Bitch if you're not already. That new Liz Taylor skin is to die for!

Still have time to kill? (And if so, I hate you. No, really.) Well here are a few more from last month...
posted at 04:50 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (6) shout it

Get back to where you once belonged
FARK.com challenged their readers to a 404-error contest. Some of the submissions are most amusing!
posted at 04:18 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (2) shout it

Not yet a woman - brought to you by Botox
Oh please, please tell me there may be some hope for America's youth after all... A new crop of young female singer-songwriters is challenging the notion that you have to bare your navel and cavort in tight clothes to be sexy and successful in pop music. (Article from MSNBC.com.)

But then again, there will never be hope for Hollywood... Seems HBO digitally alters closeups of the faces of “Sex and the City” stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis, Kim Cattrall and Cynthia Nixon “to make them look younger and better.” (Article also from MSNBC.com.)

Or perhaps I spoke too soon about all hope being lost... The Coen Brothers are jumping into the big-screen musical genre again with “Romance and Cigarettes,” a musical written by John Turturro. (One last shameless link snagged from MSNBC.com.)
posted at 03:57 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (6) shout it

This used to be my playground
I just did a quick look-see over my entries from the last couple of weeks, and I noticed very little of the content has been about "me". I'm not quite sure why that is -- other than I seem to meet myself sitting down and getting back up out of this computer chair most days. Todd has pretty much taken over my iBook, as I do most of my design work on his PC (better video card and better version of Photoshop). Sigh.

I really envy him being able to punch out at 5:30 each day. When he turns that computer off, his work e-mail program shuts down with it. I don't have that luxury. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not complaining about the many benefits of "working from home". And I'm definitely not complaining about finally having work to do from home. It's just been really hard for me to find that balance of when to work and when to play when not staring at set 9-5 schedule. And also when to be a wife, and when to make the checkbook seem not so emtpy...

We're starting on a big joint-project tonight that I'm not yet at liberty to discuss (and no, for the 1,000,000th time this is also not baby related). That's going to be an even bigger drain on the little "free" time I already have. It's something I'm very excited about. I'm just trying to figure out what is going to give in its place.

I guess there's also a bit of guilt over wanting to do stuff for others, and finding myself in the position for the first time in six years of having to say "no" or "could you please ask _____ instead". I'm not used to telling people no. It's just not in my nature. Even Todd is paying the price. He's had an image he'd like made into a design for a couple of weeks now, in addition to skinning his site, and I just haven't had the time. What used to be "play" for me is now anything but... I don't want to "work" when I'm not working. It would be like me asking him to call customers after dinner if he wouldn't mind. Don't get me wrong -- he definitely understands and isn't complaining in the slightest. I just feel bad having to put him off, too.

So I guess what I'm saying is: If I still owe you e-mail, I'm sorry. If I've had to tell you "no" recently, I'm sorry. If you're stupid enough to elect this man for a second term, well, I'm not sorry. You're a moron. You shall now return to your regularly scheduled hooters...
posted at 07:50 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (18) shout it

Two tacos shy of a fiesta platter
E-mail I just received (full name withheld to protect the stupid):

From: fred
Date: Wed 7/24/2002 6:17 PM
Subject:
why do chicks make so big a thing about being married? You are. that is that. so what? Is it like putting up a stuffed animal on your smoking room wall? Look what I shot and brought home? blog on, and lots of luck.

My full reply? "Uhhhhh...alrighty then!" Thank you, drive thru.

posted at 06:12 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (18) shout it

Funky Cold Medina
Apparently we've been going to the wrong bars... (Link not safe for work! Also picked up from FARK.)
posted at 05:10 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (8) shout it

The battle of who could care less
Remember when I complained about having to use handicapped parking here in Florida while under constant attack? Well just to prove that I wasn't exaggerating:

SPRING HILL, Fla. — An argument between two handicapped men over a hospital parking space escalated when one man whipped out a sword, prompting the other to pull out a 9mm handgun. (Read full article at CourtTV.com.)

It's no wonder FARK.com gave Florida its own icon...
posted at 04:59 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

Deliver the letter, the sooner the better
This week the "Today Throws a Wedding" choices are kinda lame -- pick the invitations. I went with choice #3 because they were designed to match the bridesmaids gowns (which I also selected). Besides, square envelopes need more postage. And I always say to stick it to 'em since they're footing the bill. I realize you can only do so much with a piece of paper -- but the invitations they offered up last year and the year before that were much better!
posted at 04:14 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

'Cuz I can't be your Superman...
Remember when the news broke about the upcoming "Batman vs. Superman" movie not too long ago? Michele even set up a casting couch and one of the names feared both by me, and her site visitors, was Matt Damon. Looks like for good reason. Here's the short list from an article in Entertainment Weekly:

Matt Damon, Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell, James Franco, Jude Law, and Paul Walker

It's funny Colin Farrell's name was mentioned -- because that was actually one of my suggestions to Todd (after seeing "Minority Report"). He blew me off at the time saying Colin was too short, and instead offered up Brendan Fraser's name. Yes, my eyes physically rolled into the back of my head. But I'd much rather see Colin cast in one of the roles, vertically challenged or not, than Matt Damon and/or Johnny Depp. At least we can all thank our lucky stars that the idea of Nicolas Cage as Superman was scrapped...for good... I wish Hollywood passed out the crack they're smoking more often!

To quote Eminem, "Superman ain't savin' shit."
posted at 04:28 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (16) shout it

Goddess on a mountain top
The Scripty Goddesses have done it again! Kristine has written up a most-excellent tutorial on getting MySQL ready to store your Movable Type database in the new MT Version 2.2 and above. I had no clue where to even begin. Now I do. Thanks Kristine!
posted at 03:07 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (5) shout it

Meeeeow!
“I was at a Versace party a couple of weeks ago and Madonna walked in,” Boy George said. “She had sunglasses on, and there was no motion in her face whatsoever. I prefer to grow old gracefully. I’m 41, I’ve got great skin, I don’t need it!”

When called for comment, Madonna’s spokeswoman shot back: “It sure doesn’t sound like he’s growing old all that gracefully.”

So what strikes you as the most funny here? The SNL commercial-parody of Botox. Madonna unable to move her eyebrows. Or the thought of Boy George growing old "gracefully". Hmmmm?

And in "oh how they fall" news..... Britney Spears can't even come up with her own break-up songs about her split with Justin Timberlake, despite her claims. She has to steal Enrique Iglesias’ instead. Meg Ryan is going to star in “In the Cut” -- based on the Susanna Moore novel that deals with murder, sadism and anal sex. “Meg hasn’t been that well received in her last few roles,” says one Hollywood insider. “She must really be looking to reposition herself.” (Reposition herself? Anal sex? No pun intended of course.) And Carmen Electra will be heading up the burlesque cabaret show “Pussycat Dolls” for the VIP Club’s grand opening for BetOnSports in Costa Rica on Aug. 24th. Somehow, I don't smell a Tony for this production.

This, and more, gossip from MSNBC.com's "The Scoop".
posted at 06:05 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (6) shout it

Lovely Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam!

Note to spammers: If you want someone to pay for your product or service, it's best to not blind them before they even get to the "visit our site / pay us here" information. Thank you. Buh-bye now. Please take your lovely parting gifts and a year's supply of Turtle Wax...
posted at 04:16 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (7) shout it

Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing!
You know all those "E! Rank Surveys"? Well thankfully they've moved away from abs and down to the funnybone for this one. Their new list countdowns the 25 Funniest People. I don't agree with all the ranking orders, but there were only a couple (Lisa Kudrow, Ray Romano) that I thought completely missed the mark. They may be funny...just not "top 25 material" in my not-so-humble l'il opinion.
posted at 04:43 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (10) shout it

Let your soul Glow
Here's the new ad for J-Lo's "Glow" perfume (click the image at the site for a larger pop-up). "A carefully-placed arm covers her modesty as the only clothing she sports is a trendy headscarf." And check out that incredibly shrinking waistline. Someone has a few Photoshop gurus on her team that I'd like to have on mine...
posted at 04:24 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (8) shout it

Runaround Sue
I just got TrackBack working over at Sue's Bloggy Blog -- go give 'er some sugah! She needs it today.
posted at 03:32 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (2) shout it

Does this floss make my butt look big?
WARNING: Links not safe for work! Just spotted over at Mikey's -- the girls of "Big Brother 3". Ok, 10:1 odds that CBS purposely stacked the house with strippers for this ratings go-'round. I mean, c'mon. I lived on an all-girl's floor in the OU dorms. We never, ever paraded around like the girls in these pics.

Yes, yes...I know... I'm ruining many of your fantasies -- much like what happened to Barry in "Road Trip". But I think the ladies out there can back me up on this one. Or maybe those are the girls in the "little hottie" commercial?
posted at 12:30 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (9) shout it

What's your definition of dirty, baby?
Some of you may have noticed a new surprise tonight...and that's all I'm sayin'... <evil grin>
posted at 11:48 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (8) shout it

An Apple a day keeps Ctrl+Alt+Delete away
Christine went off about the new series of Apple ads today, so I wanted to share this one that Todd found featuring Will Ferrell (must have QuickTime 6 to view). It's from the MacWorld Expo NY 2002. Spew warning ahead!
posted at 10:48 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (4) shout it

It's an institute you can't disparage
"Matrimonial lore says husbands never remember marital spats and wives never forget. A new study suggests a reason: Women’s brains are wired both to feel and to recall emotions more keenly than the brains of men."

Poor Todd doesn't stand a chance when it comes to fights based on memory. Read the full article at MSNBC.com.
posted at 06:55 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (4) shout it

Can't sleep - clowns will eat me
Ok, this guy's theory seriously had the opposite effect on me! I think I'm more afraid of him than death now...

And normally kitten photos make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But this is hardly an "awwwww" snapshot when you realize what you're looking at. It's just so, so very wrong. What do you do in a case like that? They obviously won't be normal adult cats. Poor little babies!
posted at 06:34 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (15) shout it

Two trailer park girls go 'round the outside
I give you...last night in all its glory... Can someone please pass the Advil?

(Update: Stacy has her pics up online now as well!)
posted at 05:56 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (22) shout it

Girls on film
Well we're just getting back from Lakeland at near-dawn. We had a fabulous time! As always Stacy and Dan were incredible hosts! We were also joined by Caitlin and Annessa. We'll have more photos ~~tomorrow~~ today after we've had sleep -- but here are a couple to prove we'll never, ever be able to run for public office. (photo 1, photo 2) Hope everyone had a great weekend!
posted at 06:15 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (15) shout it