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Posted: 08.07.2002
The truth is stranger than fiction
And now the wacky Wednesday news story of the day from FARK.com: Cape Town police hunt for semen thief

"In a bizarre attack, a job hunter was 'robbed' of sperm in Kraaifontein, after a passerby offered him food, took him home and beat him up before forcing him to ejaculate into a jar.

Police spokesman Ian Rosant confirmed that a 33-year-old man had laid a charge of indecent assault with Kraaifontein police. He said the suspect, described as middle-aged, had offered the man work and food at his home. But instead he took his victim into a room, locked the door and asked him to have sex with his wife.

Rosant said that when the confused and shocked job seeker refused to have sex with his false Samaritan's wife, the man punched him. 'The attacker then partially stripped the frightened man and forcibly caused him to ejaculate' while the woman looked on, Rosant said. The man collected his victim's sperm and sealed it in a jar. The attacker let him go and he fled.
"
Words...fail me. But at least you can get a free case of beer if you've been bitten by a crocodile, no matter where you live.



Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...



Sounds like someone's shootin' blanks...

¤ ¤ credit: Susan | 08.07.02 at 04:00 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I would have to agree with Susan on that one !! I swear people are so crazy !! And did you say free beer ?

¤ ¤ credit: Tammie | 08.07.02 at 05:38 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

that is funny but not. i mean, it's funny to me cuz i'm twisted like that but not funny cuz some pooe guy got beat up. *go back to bed kat, you're rambling*

¤ ¤ credit: kat | 08.07.02 at 08:12 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Eww....sick!

¤ ¤ credit: sphinx | 08.07.02 at 08:25 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Knowing that stress affects men's performance, I'm a little confused... if the man was beaten and threatened, how did he get it up at all? Let alone put anything into the jar? Unless the guy gets off on such things.

¤ ¤ credit: Veshka | 08.07.02 at 11:13 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

nah. this is just petty theft.. you gotta watch out for when he hits the big time..

the sperm banks..

i wonder how the teller would react to that note getting passed to her from a guy in a ski cap...

"ALL YOUR SPERM ARE BELONG TO US"

¤ ¤ credit: datsum | 08.07.02 at 11:15 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

that wife musta been one uuuuuugly bitch if the guy would rather stroke into a jar instead of fuck her. hell, she was so ugly, her husband had to kidnap a potential lay for her!

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 08.07.02 at 11:17 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Mikey,you have me ROTF !!

¤ ¤ credit: Tammie | 08.07.02 at 11:54 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

It's tastless disgusting and offensive. I like it :)

¤ ¤ credit: Anna | 08.07.02 at 02:10 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

LMAO Mikey!!!!!!!!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 08.07.02 at 02:34 PM | link--this ¤ ¤




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