The leader of the Pack
Todd is about to go into convulsions with me being at the computer all weekend, so we're taking a break, and taking off to see "Undercover Brother". I'll leave you with a moment of zen:

It's my Joshie all grown up and playing quarterback at Green Bay. Yum yum gimme some!
posted at 09:27 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (5) shout it

Hurts so good
I just finished a 3-skin (one less than a foreskin...ba dum dum) design over at "Painfully Cool" for Blogomania. Make sure to stop by and say "hi". Thank you very much. You've been a great crowd. The 10 o'clock show is the same as the 8. Tip your waitress please.
posted at 08:03 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

Tastes like candy
Just because I took the time to look it up elsewhere, here's the transcript to the Kids in the Hall "Girl Drink Drunk" skit to start your weekend off right. What about a Chocolate Choo Choo? Don't disappoint me.
posted at 06:15 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again

And another good link from FARK.com today -- file this under "oops". Big "oops". Whoosh.

BEIJING (Reuters) - Beijing's most popular newspaper has unwittingly republished a bogus story about U.S. Congress threats to skip town for Memphis or Charlotte unless Washington builds them a new Capitol building with a retractable dome. The source? America's celebrated spoof tabloid, the Onion...

..."The story was written by one of our freelance writers," an editor at the Evening News told Reuters on Friday. "His stuff has been pretty much reliable before." (Full article from Yahoo! News.)
posted at 04:29 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (4) shout it

You might be a redneck if...
This one is disturbing enough to warrant being linked both places!
posted at 04:20 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (7) shout it

A clue for $500, Alex?
Just when I think I can't be sickened by the Catholic Church scandals any more than I already am, I find (granted in a gossip column) that the Church is seeking help with their image from public relations firms. Heads up Monsignor -- a PR firm and a glossy coating of spin isn't going to help your image. Getting rid of priests that molest little children -- and then turning them over for prosecution, rather than hiding them and shuffling them around for years under the cloak of 'the system' -- is going to improve your image. 'Fess up, clean up, or forget about me feeling all warm and fuzzy because a full-page New York Times ad or low-lit, soft-focus Barbara Walters exclusive interview told me to do so. (Article from MSNBC.com.)
posted at 04:40 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (13) shout it

Unce, tice, fee times a mady
Just wanted to let everyone know that I'll also be guest-blogging over at PromoGuy.net today (Friday) while he's away on vacation. I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
posted at 12:49 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (0) shout it

Nobody gonna hold me down...oh no...
I took a break to sit down and watch the MTV Movie Awards with Todd, which reminded me it was time to update the old "Please P. Diddy Ruin This Song Too 2002 Mailbag". For those new to my blog, you can find the main page of my anti-Puffy site here. I made the site back in '98 and have updated it exactly once since then (after the Puffster changed his name). But the hate mail still keeps pouring in... A couple of my personal favorites from this round:

"why you haitin'. let diddy do his thing thing nah mean. you baller blockin' right now. you must be white cause he made those song better than they origianally were. don't hate case you don't have as much money as he does."

"LISTEN U NEEDS TO JUST SHUT UR POOR OLD ASS MOTHA FUCKEN SON OF A BITCH MOUTH UP!!!!!!!! LISTEN U OLD HAG INSTEAD OF COMPLAINING ABOUT SUM OLD OUTDATED PREHISTORIC SO CALLED MUSIC AND MAKIN URSLEF LOOK REAL STUPID Y DONT U SHUT UP AND KNIT. CAUSE BOO U R A BITCH WHO NEEDS TO CHECK URSLEF. U JUST LUCKY I DIDNT READ THIS EARLIER TRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!"

To go back in time, open the mailbags from '98-'01 here, yo.
posted at 10:08 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (11) shout it

You may find your clothes getting in the way
So would you rather die than take your clothes off? And I mean that quite literally, you dirty pervert! Because honestly my whole theory on the matter is that if we're all going to die anyway, why the hell not be naked together first?

It's at times like these the great heaven knows
That we wish we had not so many clothes
So let's loosen up with a playful tease
Like all lovers did through the centuries

We're just following ancient history
If I strip for you will you strip for me?

Don't freeze up girl. (Seattle Times article snagged from the fine folks at Daypop.)
posted at 05:00 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (18) shout it

But it feels so empty without me
I think I'm going to wake up to Eminem more often. It's turning out to be one helluva day!
posted at 04:33 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

Getting to know you...getting to know all about you...
It took me two days to finish this, but here's "Blogger Pride: The Survey" (first spotted over at Krisalis)!

Ethics/Personal Life:

Has a blog post ever got you into trouble? Until recently no... But that whole USPS fiasco last week. Well, 'nuff said.
How many people do you know face-to-face who read your weblog? Quite a few actually! Todd (of course), Susan, , Stacy, Daniel, Christi, Joy, Tara, Susannah, and can't forget fellow Sooner Jana (regardless of what her current student ID says).
Have you met any of your regional (or even remote) bloggers? We met Susannah over Thanksgiving, and went to a mini-Central Florida BlogCon over Memorial Day weekend. I hope to meet several others at Gnomedex this August!
Do you modify or delete posts? How often? Why? Right after I publish, ohhhhh yeah. I'm horrible about posting something and then proofing it -- even with MT's preview feature. After the first comment, I rarely go back and modify and delete, unless like was the case with this weekend's events, the facts as I know them change.
How much is your weblog a part of your personal identity? Do you feel like people who don't know about your blog don't really know you? I feel it's very much a part of my identity. It's the only journal I've ever been able to keep up with -- and I think a lot of that lies in the fact there's not the pressure to talk about me and my feelings all the time like with a paper counterpart. I can just talk about anything and everything that's around me. Things that may not be important 10 years...or even 10 minutes from now...but that I wanted to talk or reminisce about at the time. As for feeling like people who don't know about my blog don't really know me...I'd say quite the contrary... There's much more to me than just what's in my blog, and I think it's hard to say you truly know someone unless you've had much deeper two-way conversations with the person.
How has blogging changed your life? It got Todd to start writing again. That's allowed me to see a whole new side of my husband -- one I never even really knew existed. I was very "lost" when he quit blogging a few weeks back. I felt like I was just getting to know that side of him, and suddenly he stopped. To say I was relieved when he started back up again would be a huge understatement. Blogging has also allowed me to step back from the wedding side of my online time, which I've truly enjoyed the break from. It's a lot more fun to design blogs than wedding sites. The white dresses all tend to blur together after awhile... Blogs have much more color!

Technical/Design:

Do you know how to code at all? Did you learn how to code by blogging? Why yes, yes I do. Completely self-taught since '96 (long before blogging), and all my coding is done by hand in Notepad and BBEdit. I don't even know how to use Frontpage or Dreamweaver (which isn't always a good thing).
What weblogging tool do you use and why? I use Movable Type. It has the most functionality of any tool I've used thus far (Blogger and Greymatter), the best interface, constant software updates, an incredible support forum...the list could go on and on... I'm on the MT Testimonials page here.
Does the design seem like something that is just something that has to be dispensed with in order to be able to write publicly, or is your design an integral part of your writing and presentation? I'd say it's an integral part of my writing and presentation. I've added a few men as eye candy lately, but for the most part I've always tried to choose strong-willed women who look in control of their lives and who are on top of their game while embracing their own sexuality, and that I've identified with in one way or another throughout my life. You'll notice they are all either blondes or redheads, because depending on the date and time, that is my split-persona as well.
How many times have you changed your weblog design entirely (or nearly so)? Too many times to count. My sidebar has a few of the older templates I used before Christine helped me skin the site.

Readership/Motivation:

How many people would you guess (educated guess based on hit counts/logfiles) read your weblog on a weekly basis at least? It looks like I average about 4000-4600 hits a week right about now.
What have you done to get more people to look at your site? Besides the obvious like webrings, Wander Lust and Blog Snob...I guess you'd have to include the Rack Browser.
What one or two characteristics make a blog really popular? Are there things that you could do to have more people read your weblog that you conciously do not do? Why? Two characteristics: sense of humor and sense of self. As for what makes mine popular...who am I kidding? My wonderful wit... My great writing style... We all know it's the scantily clad chicks. And I suppose I could have taunted people with taking it all off, but the Rack Browser is as daring as I ever care to get.
What really popular weblog do you think most deserves it...and/or least deserves it? I'd have to say Michele is one of the ones that most deserves it. She just has this way with writing that makes you spill your drink down your shirt and drop your chips in your lap because you're paying more attention to what she has to say than anything you're doing while reading along... As for least deserves it, well, 'nuff said (which I believe to be one of my best rants ever).
How do you feel about your readership? What makes for a quality readership to you? I love the people who read here. When life events like this weekend happen, they stop to take notice and/or make sure we're doing ok. People don't seem to be afraid to speak up, whether they are new or old visitors. And I hope it always stays that way!

Influence of Other Bloggers:

What other blogger is most responsible for you starting your own weblog? Ashley is the one I hold personally responsible. I've also long-admired Dawn and Cheryl's blogs.
Who was the first other blogger (that you know of) who put you on thier sidebar, and how did you feel? How did it influence your blogging? Other than friends who "had" to, I'd have to say Christine. I did mental cartwheels the day she first mentioned me!
What other blogger do you most admire for her writing skills? I've already mentioned Michele, so I'll also say Melly.
What other blogger do you most admire for her design skills? I'm going to get in trouble if I list just one, so I'll say it's a tie -- Erika and Chel. And I can't forget Kristine. And Stacy. And.....
Who is a blogger that you think is really good but doesn't get nearly the attention they are worthy of? I'll pick one of each sex -- Mikey and Susan!
Do you feel obligated to have people on your link lists/sidebars that you never read? No. I do try to read them all at least weekly...
What one or two characteristics define a really quality blog (in your humble opinion, of course)? Something that can make you laugh, cry, and write bad checks all in one sitting...

Bonus Question:

Do you fear The Booge? I'm afraid I cannot answer that on the grounds I may incriminate myself...

posted at 01:12 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (8) shout it

Shades of grey are the colors I see
My latest ~~victim~~, errrrr, satisfied customer! Rollin' right along with Sekimori Design... Up next? A new set of skins for a Blogomania client!
posted at 10:06 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (13) shout it

I see my red door and I want it painted black
Ok, something must be wrong -- because not only have I watched two Oprah shows in two weeks -- I've also blogged about both of them. But I'm so glad I caught today's show! Paint guru and redesign expert Debbie Travis is back on again for "One Day Home Makeovers". If you're not familiar with the ways this woman can transform blah and dull rooms, just check out a few of her past projects! (Here is an old blog entry I've made about her show in the past, with my two favorite designs.) Oh to have access to an unlimited paint supply...
posted at 04:46 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (7) shout it

I can't drive 55
If Ashley Judd can't sweet talk Kentucky state troopers out of speeding tickets, what hope do the rest of us have?

Ashley Judd’s race-driving hubby got a ticket for speeding recently — despite the sweet-talking of his actress wife. Dario Franchitti was stopped a few days ago in Anderson, Ky., for allegedly driving their gray Porsche convertible 75 miles an hour on Bluegrass Parkway. Judd smiled her “big Hollywood smile,” according to State Trooper Todd Evans. Judd sweetly assured Evans that her husband could handle the speed because he was a race car driver. She also asked the trooper if he recognized her. “I told her I thought I did,” Evans said, according to the Anderson News, “but she didn’t look like she does in pictures, without her makeup and all.”

I've only received one speeding ticket in my life -- on my way to my first day at a new job when I was in college. I started to cry, knowing I'd be late, and knowing I couldn't afford the ticket. The cop told me to drop the 'poor sweet blonde' routine and shoved the ticket in my hand. When I got to court a couple of weeks later, the city attorney had been pulled over at the exact same spot, on the very same day. And she was blonde, too. My case was dismissed with a six-month warning. (Article from MSNBC.com.)

What's your best "get out of jail free card" story?
posted at 05:06 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (19) shout it

Cult of personality
Spotted at Kristine's...my Bloginality is ENFP (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)!
posted at 12:02 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (7) shout it

Playing catch-up
Just getting around to this week's "Monday Mission" and today's "This or That Tuesday", I am.

First, This or That...

Laptop or desktop computer? We have both -- an iBook and a PC desktop.
PC or Mac? Again, both.
DVD or VHS? And again, both. Although we're converting everything to DVD slowly but surely.
Cell phone or regular phone? Todd has a cell that we rarely use and even more rarely fill up with minutes -- so mostly regular land line.
Satellite or cable TV? We got DirecTV when we moved in the house and would never go back!
X-Box or PlayStation? We just bought a GameCube.
Netflix or video store? We signed up with Netflix recently and I don't know how we lived without it.
Wide-screen or regular TV? Regular. *pout*
Film or digital camera? Both, but I'm partial to my digital camera now for convenience and instantly knowing whether or not you need to take the shot again.
Dial-up or high-speed internet connection? We have Verizon DSL. Before moving into our house we had Road Runner, but they didn't offer it up here yet.

And now this week's Monday Mission...

Who or where do you go to when you need help for web-related problems? I think the ScriptyGoddess website is a godsend! Beyond that...it depends on the problem...but Christine, Jennifer, Kristine and Stacy have all heard my cries for help at one time or another...
There is a big mess of gossip going on in some Blogs out there due to revelations about a very popular Blogger. I got very caught up in reading all the links to links about it until I stopped myself realizing it was none of my buisiness. Do you ever get caught up in gossip, either speading it or listening to it? How does it make you feel? Or have you ever been the subject of gossip? Ok. I'll go out on a limb here and say, "hell yeah!" I love gossip. Especially entertainment gossip. That may be bad and it may be a crime...but I do. So there. You just always have to consider the source... And we were the subject of gossip when we got married. We had a 'traditional' church wedding scheduled for October, and suddenly moved it up to June (six weeks away) without warning when we ran off to New Orleans. Everyone in town thought that I was pregnant it seems.
In a relationship, when your other takes a dig at you (read: a fight), do you go for the jugular and get "in their face" or try to peacefully smooth things out and have a calm discussion? I don't fight fair when I'm so angry I'm seeing stars. And I know this. I always try to take time out and calm myself down first so I can be rational and have a calm discussion. The times Todd has pressed and tried to force the issue for a 'right then' fix have been times he's usually ended up regretting.
A friend once told me "You can tell when someone is bored with what you are saying to them when they reply with 'That's interesting.'" And I have found this to be pretty dang true. How do you know when someone has lost interest in what you are saying? I'm sorry, what were you saying again? Couldn't resist. Usually when you hear "uh huh, uh huh, yep, uh huh". Or if you're watching The Screen Savers, it's when Leo says, "Woooonderful." Just like that DJ on Wayne's World 2.
Ever get jealous of the popularity other Blogs? Only Wil Wheaton when he wiped the red carpet with my ass in the Bloggies.
What is your favorite dirty word? (those who don't curse can pick your favorite happy word) Fucktard.
(the continuing story...) OK, we are definitely doing that again. But seeing as it is nearly 6am now, how about breakfast? Anywhere you'd like to go or should we fix our own? What do you like? Or is there something else we need to do first? The only way I eat breakfast at breakfast-time is if I'm going to bed at dawn. Then I want McDonald's (Egg McMuffin). If I'm having breakfast for dinner, gimme pancakes or biscuits and gravy. Or if we're eating out, Denny's or Perkins.

BONUS: What have I done to deserve this?
Since you went away I've been hanging around
I've been wondering why I'm feeling down
You went away, it should make me feel better
But I don't know, oh
How I'm gonna get through?
posted at 10:00 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (1) shout it

Grow your own
And on the 17th day there was grass. So it is written. So it is done. It's the little things...
posted at 06:31 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (4) shout it

Just the facts, ma'am
For anyone that wants the full-story on what happened over the weekend, a Tampa Tribune reporter passed along the following this morning.

From: jfjohnston@tampatrib.com
Sent: Tuesday, June 04, 2002 11:06 AM
To: robyn@whollymatrimony.com
Subject: saturday story

Hello:

This is the story that ran Sunday in our paper about the incident you're concerned about. As you can see, we try to be very sensitive reporting deaths that appear to be suicides, but also wanted to let the people in the community know why there was a fire in their subdivision.

Thanks for writing.
Jo-Ann Johnston, Saturday editor
The Tampa Tribune
813-259-7804

DT: Sunday June 2, 2002
HD: Fire, Death Investigated
SO: A staff report

(BeginText)

PASCO COUNTY ... Authorities are investigating a fire and death discovered early Saturday morning in the [removed for safety] subdivision here.

Pasco County firefighters were called to a home on [removed for safety] after a dog's barking alerted neighbors to a problem. When firefighters arrived at about 2 a.m., they found the fire already burning through the roof of the home.

The owner was found dead inside the home, with early evidence pointing to suicide as the cause of death, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's department. The deceased occupant had family in the area, but at the time was living alone in the home, except for a dog. The dog, a mixed-breed, is uninjured and being cared for by relatives until a new home can be found.

Anyone interested in adopting the dog can call (727) 847-2201.

AI:

IT: Tribune photo by CHRISTINE DeLESSIO

Family and friends gather inside police tape Saturday morning after firefighters found the homeowner's body inside a burning house.

EH: FIRE DEATH INVESTIGATION PASCO FLA
posted at 04:23 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

It could happen...

So I was just telling Stacy my new vision for blog design... Dominatrix Webdesign. "Sit down. Shut the hell up. And we will tell you what you want. And you'll be happy about it." Stacy is already picking out nice latex rubber ensembles, and Todd has come up with a slogan: "We whip it good." Anyone wanna sign up?
posted at 03:37 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (17) shout it

This one flatlined

It couldn't have picked a better time to show up. I'm in the middle of week two working 12-16 hour days/nights coding. And Mountain Dew unveils...Diet Code Red. Yes, the diet version of the nectar of the gods. The original being a mere 170 calories per 8 oz. glass.

Too bad it sucks.

If you think Diet Coke has an aspartame after-taste, you ain't drank nuthin' yet! We both had high hopes, thinking the fine folks at PepsiCo would pull off a miracle à la Diet Dr. Pepper and make my summer diet that much easier to take. But no. It was not meant to be. Todd claims that the flavor numbed his taste buds for a good two hours. I wouldn't go quite that far, but I do know that 2-liter is going to go flat before either of us bothers to pour another glass. So if you try it yourself, do so at your own risk.

Summer soft drink war score:
Coca Cola (Vanilla Coke) - 1
PepsiCo (Diet Mountain Dew Code Red) - 0
posted at 04:30 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (21) shout it

Stay out da' Bushes
What is going on in my state? Just look at these headlines:

Florida can't find 1,000 kids in state custody. (Another article says 1,237 -- but who's counting? Certainly not the Florida Department of Children and Families!)
Think you own the land your house is on? (Well think again! Not if land speculator Don Connolly has anything to say about it. He's already bought up the land under people's boat docks here in town. Now he's going for the ground below your foundation.)
Runaway teen labeled as 'sex offender'. (She took a child she was babysitting and ran away as a troubled teen. A few days later she was arrested and the child was returned to its parents unmolested, unharmed and healthy. But Florida has made this young mother register as a sexual predator and has put her mugshot on its website time and time again even though the FDLE has agreed she should not be on its list.)

A Jeb state is supposed to be a happy state, riiiiiight?
posted at 12:46 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (9) shout it

Crack the code
After finally having e-nough spam coming in because I kept my e-mail address unaltered on my site, I took a tip from the Scripty Goddesses and used the E-mail Address Encoder to generate my e-mail link instead. It's a nifty little script you can have validate in XHTML or 4.01, and it even allows you to put in link-hover text. When your site visitors click on the link to e-mail you, it will look and act like a real e-mail address -- but your address is encoded in a bunch of gobbelty-gook (yes, that is a technical term) HTML that spam-robots usually can't harvest. You can check it out in action over in my sidebar. I think I'm in love...
posted at 07:29 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (6) shout it

She's right sexy
I'm really going to have to get my arse in gear. Now Stacy/Sekimori is up for sexiest female blogger. (Go vote for her!) Man, you take a weekend off for an anniversary and neighborhood tragedy and the whole blog world passes you by...
posted at 06:08 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (3) shout it

Tony! Toni! Toné!
This is the coolest client I have ever had. And he knows why the hard way. *giggle* I just finished the design last night, so check it out when you have a chance!
posted at 06:02 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (9) shout it

Me love you long time
"What'll we get for ten dollars?"
"Every 'ting you want."

So it seems Christine is a blogwhore. Shocking, isn't it?

posted at 05:14 PM | link-

-it | mail it | (4) shout it

Brought to you by the letter P and the number 3
And before I head to bed...that "hey, something's not quite right here" feeling you might be experiencing right about now could be because this week, the date and timestamps are in...English! It's a language I really need to learn more of. No, seriously.
posted at 04:28 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (5) shout it

Just another manic Monday
I can honestly say in my 29 years on the planet that I have never been so happy to have a new week - and a brand new, clean slate - before me. I thought March was supposed to the month that came in like a lion and out like a lamb...

Thanks so much to everyone who has sent us well-wishes both here, and in private. I haven't been able to reply to all of them, but can't begin to tell you how much they've meant!
posted at 03:16 AM | link-

-it | mail it | (6) shout it