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Posted: 12.31.2002
If we met tomorrow for the very first time

It's getting so lonely inside this bed
Don't know if I should lick my wounds
Or say woe is me instead

And there's an aching inside my head
It's telling me I'm better off alone

But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you will get some

They say that girl ya know she act too tough tough tough
Well it's 'til I turn off the light, turn off the light
They say that girl you know she act so rough rough rough
Well it's 'til I turn off the light, turn off the light

And I say follow me follow me follow me down down down down
'Til you see all my dreams
Not everything in this magical world is quite what it seems

I looked above the other day
'Cuz I think I'm good and ready for a change

I live my life by the moon
If it's high play it low
If it's harvest go slow
And if it's full, then go

But after midnight morning will come
And the day will see if you're gonna get some

I'm searching for things that I just cannot see
Why don't you don't you don't you come and be with me
I pretend to be cool with me, want to believe
That I can do it on my own without my heart on my sleeve

I'm running, I'm running, catch up with me life
Where is the love that I'm looking to find

It's all in me, can't you see
I can see, why can't you see it's all in me.....

I guess there's a lot of talk going on out there about so-called A-Lists and inner-circles in the blog world. Reading things like that always makes me sad. Even more so when I see my name in the mix. I'm not naive. I've seen my site stats. But you know what? I still see myself as the same person / blogger as I was the day I started with 10 readers. If I ever feel any differently, that's the day I turn in my mouse and keyboard and walk off stage with my lovely parting gifts and year's supply of Turtle Wax.

I think Melly addressed this topic best back in November. She said, and I quote: "It is not necessary to consider yourself a blog deity. If you quit, in time, people will forget. It's just the way it goes."

And that's true. To quote Dr. Evil: "If anything should happen to you I don't know what I would do. I'd probably move on and get another [blog] replica but there would be a ten minute period where I would just be inconsolable." If any single blogger out there -- myself included -- up and quit tomorrow, sure there would be the obligatory "please don't go" comments and well-wishes. But the whole world would keep on turning. People would still have things to say. And they'd still have stuff to read. Blogging continually evolves. The way it's written. The way it's read. No one has a corner on the market.

If anyone out there truly thinks that I take myself -- or my blog -- seriously, you really don't know me very well. Stop and think a second about my life. I get fully dressed at most twice a week -- that includes doing my hair and makeup. I can't drive a car. I don't have a real income. I don't have "power lunches". I pop open a box of Lunchables and drop the cracker bits down the front of my shirt as I munch away. If that ain't a big ol' put yourself right in your place slap o' reality, I don't know what is. I started out with 10 readers a day just like everyone else. Maybe I got more exposure -- not because I'm "good" or even "deserve" it -- but because in the beginning I had more time to read and get to know other bloggers than someone who was juggling a career, kids, and a husband. I've got one of the three. Granted, my free time has been severely lacking lately (which sadly includes e-mail and being in touch with people as often as I'd like) -- but it was certainly there in abundance when I started out.

I think one of the saddest things I've ever had to digest when it comes to blogging is people being afraid to comment. Unless you go anonymous and/or come here with the sole-purpose of trashing my friends, my Sooners, and sometimes Y (my Bucs) -- I want to hear what you have to say. I don't purposely have a lynch mob ready to rip you apart with a wave of my hand (unless you steal my work). And I had to give up holding virginal sacrifices by blogging decree in early 2002, so you're safe there as well. Hell, someone I consider to be one of my closest blogging friends wouldn't even read me in the beginning because he thought I was in too many Blogrolls. But he did visit, we did get to know each other, and somehow someway we're going to figure out how to meet in person dammit.

If there's an A-List, I never received my formal invite in the mail. I didn't get the t-shirt. Hell, I didn't even get a complimentary 6-month subscription to Yahoo! magazine. And I certainly don't want people to feel like they can't read me or approach me because they happened to glance at my Nedstats tracker this week. I'll confess I've had a bit of an attitude lately. I took it from all sides for weeks on end, and I have just enough of a cat in me to make my back arch, my claws extend and my hair stand up on end. If you got in the crosshairs, I do apologize. But admit it. Isn't that why you love me and tease me that I'm a Princess?    Just because I disagree with someone -- privately or publicly -- doesn't mean that I don't love or adore them. Hell, it makes me respect them more. Nothing garners more admiration from me than a strong will and the courage and self-respect to tackle the things placed in front of you. If we were all alike, what a truly boring world this would be. Just imagine the same 50,000 monkey clones at 50,000 typewriters. That can -- and would -- be wrong.

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

This just came on my station. I thought it quite appropriate...

Don't think me unkind
Words are hard to find
They're only cheques I've left unsigned
From the banks of chaos in my mind
And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me

De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true

Poets priests and politicians
Have words to thank for their positions
Words that scream for your submission
And no-one's jamming their transmission
'Cos when their eloquence escapes you
Their logic ties you up and rapes you

De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true...

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.31.02 at 04:54 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Okay, so I admit... I've been here more than a few times (especially for the boobies), and I *have* been afraid to comment, for all the reasons listed above. :) But then I read the other post about NOT being afraid to comment, and, well... here's me breaking the ice. So anyway, Happy New Year from your "neighbor" at the other end of I-4 ;)

¤ ¤ credit: Will | 12.31.02 at 05:28 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Whoo hoo! See kids, it only hurts the first time. Welcome aboard Will! :-)

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.31.02 at 05:36 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hurt? Nah, it was more orgasmic than anything else ;)

¤ ¤ credit: Will | 12.31.02 at 05:47 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'd much rather have ten visitors who genuinely feel they connect with me, than have 10,000 who don't. (Not alluding to anyone, just generally speaking.) When folks write pen-and-paper diaries (presumably with no readers), is it not just as therapeutic for the author? Quite frankly, the bloggers who it would appear have no readers are often times the most interesting; less afraid to share more of "themselves," maybe.

Anyway, I say find bloggers who you connect with but don't force yourself to connect with whom the blogroll's dictate you should. If you connect with someone who happens to be on every blogroll between here and the north poll - great. If not, you're only doing yourself a disservice by not branching out and looking for more of yourself in the blogging community - and them in you.

¤ ¤ credit: M | 12.31.02 at 06:22 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

robyn, you have to admit that its pretty intimidating when you find a blog that has literally thousands of readers. you just sit and go aahhhh with your tounge hanging out...lol you try and want to comment and then you read your own comment before you hit post and think, man that's stupid. delete...lol it took me months to say anything to you. I would just read and lurk and surf around your site and then finally, I said something. it wasn't bad at all but it is very scary that first time commenting on someone is the "a list".

¤ ¤ credit: kat | 12.31.02 at 07:14 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hey Robyn, I leave comments just for the reason of getting some thinking and responding going on! Otherwise whats the use? I know sometimes what I say kind of comes out wrong and people think I am pissed off or sometimes pretty bratty. Well hell, I'm entitled to that sometimes I figure, I am still technically "a kid" soooooooooooo I leave comments, sometimes the blogger and visitors rip me a new hole cause of what I said. But I like reading the blogs that are real, and that are what the blogger's have on their minds, not just links and news from the media. Robyn, you ARE one of the best, just because of everything you say in this post. Love ya dudette!!! Have a Happy New Year..........and that ain't even the Nyquil talking! hehehehe no me go back to bed and die again........uuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhh

¤ ¤ credit: Zander | 12.31.02 at 08:28 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

If I'd known about the Yahoo subscription, I would have said something sooner :) I'm actually making a resolution for the new year to try to comment more often.

¤ ¤ credit: Elfchick | 12.31.02 at 08:32 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

But the question still remains, if you had 50,000 monkeys at 50,000 typewriters would you eventually get the works of Shakespeare?

Sorry, someone had to say it :-)

Hope you have a Great New Years planned!

¤ ¤ credit: Ewan Grantham | 12.31.02 at 08:51 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

People really are afraid to comment? I find that amazing!!

We're all just people. Nothing more and nothing less.

Have fun, say hi and enjoy your time on the web. That is what it should be all about right?

Happy New Year!

¤ ¤ credit: C.C. | 12.31.02 at 08:59 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

When I comment, I always just ask the question "Do I have something to contribute here?". Many times when you post something, by the time I get to reading it, all I could add would be "Yeah, what she said."

You should never apologize for your popularity. One of the things that makes your blog such a great read is that you aren't chasing popularity like some other people (Wil) we all know. You just put it out there and you have some great readers, and me, that throw in their $.02 worth.

And for all the lurkers out there, I can tell you from personal experience that if you post comments, Robyn sends you all the uncensored hot tub pics you can handle. Ok, not really...but she is quite appreciative.

¤ ¤ credit: a different Bill | 12.31.02 at 09:08 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Robyn, even though there are days when I still feel shy about commenting, I will always say that this is one of the warmest and most welcoming places to do so.

I think I agree with Bill and Kat, in that you have to ask yourself if you are contributing when you are going to say something and that some days it does feel a little intimidating. The level of eloquence in the posts and in the comments on some days exceeds your own and you wonder if the mong you have typed out is worth the space. I am still shy about commenting, but this is not due to the people whose sites I am visiting, [in most cases] it is more a factor of my own introvertedness.

Robyn, you should never apologize for your popularity, it is not something you chase, nor do you aspire the all mighty princess of the blog ;) I think people come here because you are you and they enjoy reading what you write.

¤ ¤ credit: munin | 12.31.02 at 09:26 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'm commenting because I'M NOT AFRAID! Do you hear me?? I'M NOT AFRAID!

*runs away and hides*

(PS. I guarantee you I'll comment on anything having to do with the Eagles ;)

¤ ¤ credit: theresa | 12.31.02 at 10:31 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

I have to say that you have always been incredibly cool. You & I don't know each other. We're not "friends", per se. But I've never sent an email that went unreturned. We've had a little college foozball thing going and I would say you give as good as you get.

As far as "A" lists & popularity go (...ain't high school great?), everybody knows that you get a lot of hits because you're #1 for "robyn" and siphon off all the folks looking for Robyn Hitchcock! ;)

I started visiting your site about a year ago. I don't remember how/why. What struck me is that you're not afraid to be out there - putting it all on the line. I love that about you. I think a lot people do. I can tell you exactly why I come back everyday: 'Cause you're always bringin' it, baby.

¤ ¤ credit: Kevin | 12.31.02 at 10:39 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

when i hear the term "A-List", i just think they're talking about pornstars who do anal. does it also refer to bloggers?

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 12.31.02 at 10:40 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

As someone who is relatively new to the blog world, it's good to hear that there really is no A-List. I would hate for it to be like high school all over again. With that said, I really like your blog. It's inspiration!

¤ ¤ credit: ursula | 12.31.02 at 10:43 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

happy new year Robyn :-)

mikey - you're just wrong

¤ ¤ credit: jewdez | 12.31.02 at 11:23 AM | link--this ¤ ¤


I don't think I have commented on your site before although I have been reading it for quite some time. Very inspiring reading for sure.

Although enlightening, it was too bad that you have to reveal so much of your personal situation a little bit ago.

As for the A list thing. Call it what you will but you deserve the top spot and I mean that in the most positive of ways. You are a true blogger and an inspiration to me.


¤ ¤ credit: Steve | 12.31.02 at 11:43 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Ignore. Yes, largely it is what I do. Spew about life in the way I see it. Some like. Some don't. People rant based on their emotions at the time. Letting them is the piece of art I am learning to appreciate. Abstract was always easier for me.

For the record if it weren't for a good friend I would rage against the sooners. However, since I do have said friend I would kiss sooner feet.

Oh yeah, dig the blog.

¤ ¤ credit: Jonathon | 12.31.02 at 11:48 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

One of the reasons why I come here is because I don't agree with you all the time. I like reading articulate posts that make me evaluate my own stance on things. I'm not sure that would happen if I were only reading things that made me nod and say "Yep, that's the way things are."

I'm generally quiet, online and offline, but I'm going to try to make more comments in the future when I have something worth saying.

¤ ¤ credit: Brandy | 12.31.02 at 12:10 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Personally, the reason I don't comment very often is that I don't have much to add. After reading interesting and well written comments, I feel stupid just adding "Yeah", "Right On" or "Go Girl" (OK, I would never say "Go Girl". I am just a little to square for that one).

A-List envy? Give me a break. The top bloggers are just that, the "Top" bloggers. If blogs suck, they don't get hits. If blogs are good (not just "Mom says I'm good", good), they will get hits. If they don't like it, screw em.

Hope you have a joyous, and Happy New Year.


¤ ¤ credit: JoeO | 12.31.02 at 12:19 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

What do you mean you get crackers down the front of your shirt? Haven't you ever heard of shoving the whole thing in your mouth? :oP

¤ ¤ credit: statia | 12.31.02 at 12:39 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Just for you Robyn, Cross My Fingers This Works:

¤ ¤ credit: jewdez | 12.31.02 at 12:58 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

oh..did I tell you that I really like the new layout? I meant to. I just forgoted. I got one over at my site too. It's lame though. I liked it this morning when I did it and now I don't.

¤ ¤ credit: Ruthie | 12.31.02 at 01:25 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Like I said on Christine's Blog, I don't really think there is an "A List". If you produce a quality product, you're bound to have lots of clientele. It's inevitable. You started out with 10 people, who liked your content, your writing style... They told people, who told people, who told people... Good things have a way of getting around.

If anything, you're a product of your own environment. I don't think you started out and said... "I want to be #1". You provide lots of entries a day, with good linkage, and quality skins... you give people what they want, so they return. I think it's great.

Now, if people choose to say you're on an A-List, they are putting you on that list. They're separating themselves from you, and creating the very list they loathe so much.

Just my 2 worth. :)

¤ ¤ credit: GeekGrrl | 12.31.02 at 01:41 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

wait a minute... are you trying to tell us you're NOT some kind of a web-deity????

*falls off of chair laughing*
You're a star, baby! You Rock, Robyn!!
All that A-List talk has been going on for years... even before there was blogs (I have to find this rant I saw in 1997).

And always, you damn A-Listers DENY there's even an A-List! ;0) Have GREAT NEW YEAR!!!!

¤ ¤ credit: -e- | 12.31.02 at 02:56 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Come on people, this is just a web journal, not a cure for cancer...some perspective please.

¤ ¤ credit: moogirl | 12.31.02 at 03:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

There is no a-list. :oP

¤ ¤ credit: statia | 12.31.02 at 03:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

The first rule about A-List..you do NOT talk about A-List. ;-)

Jewdez, I think I love you.

First time (and rare) commentors in this post -- THANK YOU for speaking up! Hell, half the time when I write entries I don't think I'm being intelligent or insightful. I believe it was Mikey awhile back who noted the entries you think are complete BS will get 25 comments, and the ones that you think are really thought-provoking will get 2. I simply like the interaction and knowing just who is out there reading along. I miss the days when I did -- seriously. I'm not looking for anyone to write a thesis for us to study. Unless, of course, you want to talk about OU football. Then you all have the floor!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.31.02 at 04:00 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

what you just said, Robyn... that's complete BS!

you're not an A-Lister. you're a wannabe. you're really a BS-Lister.

ok, someone needs to start a list that i can be on. maybe i could be a P-Lister? i really gotta go right now...

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 12.31.02 at 05:02 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

damn, i never use quote marks in my html. can you keep reminding me?

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 12.31.02 at 05:04 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Just highlight and use the HTML buttons under the comment box, silly. It does it for you! ;-)

And you can't be a P-lister. No P's are allowed here. Heh.

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.31.02 at 05:06 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I would never, ever, trash your Sooners. Then again, I root for Rutgers.

¤ ¤ credit: Hondo | 12.31.02 at 05:28 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Y'know, the more I sit here and think about it, I think GeekGrrl is completely right. Have you ever noticed the ones that seem to throw around the labels and insults are the very same ones who blogged about being excluded in school -- and now about how highschoolish (certain) blog(gers) are? Why is that? Are they purposely trying to relive the past by lumping a group of people together as "popular" and then putting them down for being so? Why would you try to consciously -- and purposely -- sit there and make yourself on the outside looking in once more? I don't get it. The day you leave highschool is the day the yearbook should close. Going out and calling others "mean" or "too popular" is only taking yourself right back to the place you claim to despise. The first time it probably wasn't your fault. The second time around, it most certainly is when you create the labels and take your public stance on them.

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.31.02 at 05:33 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

the force is strong with her. wonder what her midichlorian count is?

¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 12.31.02 at 06:20 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Honestly - there are some storms that roll through the blogosphere that give a pretty good indication of what people are really like. This is nothing against you, Robyn, since I tend to agree with you and don't think you're one of the holier-than-thou types who feels the need to hammer down other people with differing viewpoints because of some weird ego or control issue.

In general:

I happen to agree and disagree with some of the things I've read thus far around, but here's the bottom line: who cares? Let's face it - there is an A list, small as it is, and if people want to be on it, more power to them. Just because I don't, and don't particularly care how much traffic I get (and people who know me know that I couldn't care less about stats - hell, I never even check the stats for our business site, and since our business is all online, that says a lot) doesn't mean that I look down or chastise other people for aspiring to generate a readership numbering in the thousands or tens of thousands. If you have something to say on your blog and people find it interesting, more readers will come your way. If you tend to repeat yourself ad nauseum about stuff that really gets old after awhile (and it really isn't all that interesting to read constant rants on me-me-me stuff without some broader look at the world or perhaps something intelligent or witty to go along with them), you'll find yourself with a limited readership. It's the same way with anything, from blogs to people who stopped reading Stephen King x books ago to the movies people will watch.

People who try to forcefeed their opinions to everyone else in the world instead of acknowledging the very, very wide diversity in the world that really makes life worth living show a distinct lack of class. I'm quite happy that I rarely encounter those types of people except in a tertiary manner, like reading things that filter into the blogosphere.

¤ ¤ credit: Annette | 12.31.02 at 06:43 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I'm not a football fan but I AM a Sooner...does that count?

¤ ¤ credit: moogirl | 12.31.02 at 09:51 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Being a Sooner always counts!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 01.02.03 at 04:11 AM | link--this ¤ ¤


{Leaps behind really something large and sturdy for protection.}

¤ ¤ credit: Brian Peace | 01.02.03 at 08:07 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

You make a good point that everyone just started off with 10 readers (if they were lucky!), regardless of their subsequent popularity. It's a heck of a thrill when people start linking your blog whether you end up with 15 regular readers of 1500. I tend not to like the term "A-list", mainly because I think it's pretty meaningless. The blogs that appeal to you may be very different from the blogs that appeal to me, it's very subjective. There's no doubt though that some blogs attract a large audience, usually because they're well written, be they informative or funny. The popular blogger is usually very good at expressing themself regardless of what they have to say.

I don't think that many of the posts I've read recently have been about popularity on it's own, more about the power that such popularity can bring and how it is used. As ever it's impossible to generalise - some bloggers will use their popularity to abuse, others won't. As to commenting that again is difficult to generalise about. There are some blogs I don't comment on mainly because there are so many comments there already what I wanted to say has been said. Another aspect, one I discussed on the blog of a friend a few months ago is being seen as "clique-ish" (is that a proper word?). I don't think this just applies to popular blogs, it can happen on blogs where just 3 or 4 people comment regularly and obviously know each other well. It often isn't the intention of the people involved but it's like meeting a small group of friends who've known each other for years, you feel like the outsider however friendly the group of friends is and it takes time for you to find your place in the group.

There are some bloggers who seem to like to use their blogs to to ridicule and humiliate others, something I find repugnant, regardless of the popularity.

¤ ¤ credit: Shelagh | 01.02.03 at 11:04 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Can I copy and paste exactly what Shelagh said? There's a lot of how I feel about the issue in there.

¤ ¤ credit: Jennifer | 01.02.03 at 03:10 PM | link--this ¤ ¤


¤ ¤ credit: -e- | 01.02.03 at 03:22 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Damn Shelagh -- that was excellent! I've weighed in about a lot of my own perceptions in the comments here -- but what you've said deserves to stand on its own!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 01.02.03 at 05:58 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

"Just because I disagree with someone -- privately or publicly -- doesn't mean that I don't love or adore them. "

This entire post was wonderful, and the above line especially caught my interest. While I don't *like* when people disagree with me, I can certainly respect them and come to an amiable feeling if they can express their differences eloquently...as opposed to, "U rd blahblahblah's blog ur stoopid n u suck".

I'm glad that I found my way to your blog. You express yourself very well :)

¤ ¤ credit: April | 01.03.03 at 01:10 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I have to admit that I visit frequently but shy away from commenting, especially when I go to hit that little comment link and there's 44 comments left by people already. That can be pretty intimidating. It makes me feel like I'll get lost in the sea of commenters, or what I have to say won't be unique because somebody has probably already said it, and said it better, then I'll end up just sounding like a dumbass, so I skip leaving a comment. Which probably isn't a good thing because it keeps us from knowing each other better, and I know it's more of a personal thing than an issue with you, I am just admitting it. It's kind of a "where do I fit in?" kinda thing. I'll do my best to get over it :)

You know, I generally don't like the "A-listers", or whatever you want to call them. They bore me, they lack that something genuine in their writing that I strive for in mine. And that something genuine is something that you have, which is why I continue to visit and read. You're down-to-earth, funny, don't-give-a-flying-fuck-type-of-gal. You're real. To put it mildly, you don't have your panties stuck in a wad, and that's why we love you! "Stardom" hasn't changed you.

I'm pretty happy with my ten readers. Well, okay, maybe it's 15. The conversations and the advice are heart-felt. No doubt, I would love to have many, many more readers, but with that comes it's own smiles and cries. I guess you gotta just deal with it wherever you are at the moment.

Geezus, have I rambled enough? :) *poof!*

¤ ¤ credit: Trinity | 03.10.03 at 06:08 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

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