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Posted: 12.03.2002 Tickle my funny bone
I'm heading to bed... When I wake up the house will be empty (have a safe flight home, Yvonne!), and I know I'll need a laugh. So please post jokes here for when I'm online again. Thanks!
"Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and I'll give ya' something to cry about you little bastard!" -- Jeff Goldblum  Here's some really cheesy blonde jokes! I love em..because I'm blonde..er..naturally What's the difference between the Atlantic Coast and a blonde? How did the blonde die raking leaves? Why do blondes like cars with adjustable steering wheels? A Blonde's Brain At Work A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time. "That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime." "No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught." A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" It looked like your Birthday was great (I know this because I "watched".I hope my 30th is half as great! :-)
 -this ¤ ¤ What did the fish say when they hit the concrete wall?? Damn ¤ ¤ credit: Chuck | 12.03.02 at 07:05 AM | link--this ¤ ¤Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children? She read that one child out of every four babies born was Chinese. “Yes, sir!“ says the marine.“Mighty fine pigs, sir!” Clinton replies, “These aren’t just ordinary pigs, son; they’re pure Arkansas razorbacks.” “Yes, sir!“ says the marine. “Mighty fine razorbacks, sir!” Clinton says, “I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea.“ “Yes, sir!” the marine says again. “Good trade, sir!” -this ¤ ¤these are my two favorite jokes.... Q: how do you scare a bee? Knock, Knock. -this ¤ ¤More cheesy blonde jokes: "Uh, I hadn't really thought about it," admitted the stunned surgeon. "You're the first one ever to ask that after a tonsillectomy." Scroll down... Scroll up... -this ¤ ¤A guy walks into a bar... It hurt. Yeah thats all I got. Lame I know. ¤ ¤ credit: sphinx | 12.03.02 at 12:24 PM | link--this ¤ ¤OMG -- I so should have peed before reading these! ¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.03.02 at 01:59 PM | link--this ¤ ¤You hear the one about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
-this ¤ ¤How about: A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar..the bantender says "Is this a joke?" Knock Knock (Those are my two favorite jokes ever lol) ¤ ¤ credit: Zoe | 12.03.02 at 02:27 PM | link--this ¤ ¤In keeping with the tradition of bar jokes: A hot dog walks into a bar. The bartender yells at him and says "get out of here, we don't serve food in here." A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Gimme a beer and a mop" -this ¤ ¤A Zen Master walks up to a hot dog vendor and tells him "make me one with everything..." Say, did you hear about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well... Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was lousy, but the reception was great! Why was the broom late? Oh, he overswept. Did you hear that the Energizer Bunny was arrested? He's charged with battery. ¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 12.03.02 at 03:20 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Pee Wee Herman's two favorite baseball teams? The Expos and The Yankees. ¤ ¤ credit: whistler | 12.03.02 at 04:33 PM | link--this ¤ ¤How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer? There is white out on the screen. How do you know if her boss is blonde? There is writing over the white out. ¤ ¤ credit: whistler | 12.03.02 at 04:36 PM | link--this ¤ ¤
-this ¤ ¤Came across a set of tracks. I'm blonde in my heart... ¤ ¤ credit: Bill | 12.03.02 at 05:14 PM | link--this ¤ ¤ROFLMAO at all these jokes! ¤ ¤ credit: Simply Sara | 12.03.02 at 06:14 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Here's one from Greg's boss, the Admiral of the Atlantic Fleet: Hear that Iraq is shutting down all the Wal-Marts? They are turning them into Targets! ¤ ¤ credit: Simply Sara | 12.03.02 at 06:16 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Oh man, there have been some great ones here today! I loves gettin' stupid funny... To say thanks, here's one from me:
"Pardon me madame, but where in the world did you get that 'O' on your chest?" The lady replies... "Oh that...well my husband has this nasty old Ohio State sweatshirt that he likes to wear. The other day we were fooling around when it was cold, but the sex was so hot, the 'O' just melted off and branded my chest." The doctor shook his head in awe and continued the examination. A week later, another patient of his showed up for her annual examination. When she took off her shirt, the doctor sees this big letter 'K' branded into her skin. Again, the doctor was amazed and asked: "My goodness, where did you get that 'K'?" The lady responded... "Well you see doctor, my husband is a big Kentucky basketball fan who insists on wearing his favorite 'good luck' UK T-shirt when he watches the team play. Last night we were making love during the game and boy...did we get into it. It was incredibly hot and the 'K' just melted right off his shirt and branded my skin." The doctor was thoroughly amazed and continued to examine her. Another week went by and a new patient shows up for her exmination. She takes off her shirt and to the doctor's surprise, he sees this huge letter 'M' branded on her chest. Well , the doctor, remembering the last two patients exhibiting similar conditions, asks this patient: "Let me take a guess. Your husband went to Michigan State and he wore a Michigan State shirt the last time you two had sex and it was so HOT, the 'M' just burned right off and branded your chest." The woman gave the doctor a puzzled look and said... "Why NO doctor...but my wife went to the University of Wisconsin." ¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.03.02 at 11:49 PM | link--this ¤ ¤What's black and white and eats like a horse? A Zebra! Sorry... =P -this ¤ ¤lol....these are great!! Here's some more: What's brown and sticky? ok....lol -this ¤ ¤I kind of like lists. Here are a few to check out: http://www.machlink.com/~billh/email/iowarules.html Just a few from my personal web site that I saved from email death. ¤ ¤ credit: BillH | 02.21.03 at 10:19 PM | link--this ¤ ¤
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