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Posted: 10.07.2002
Hate week -- it's not just for breakfast anymore

You might be a longhorn if......
  1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
  2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
  3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
  4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
  5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
  6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
  7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this."
  8. You think Dom Pérignon is a Mafia leader.
  9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
  10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
  11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
  12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
  13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
  14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
  15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
  16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
  17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
  18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
  19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
  20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.

Kevin also has a really good Big XII weekend wrap-up on his site.

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

lmao...i love your longhorn jokes. see, i'm an Aggie from Texas...I hate longhorns. Keep 'em comin

¤ ¤ credit: sneakpi | 10.07.02 at 11:15 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

LOL those were really good, even if I know virtually nothing about sport.

¤ ¤ credit: pie | 10.08.02 at 04:42 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Go Sooners! I hope they stop giving me heart attacks or I might not make it thru the season.

¤ ¤ credit: sandy | 10.08.02 at 09:31 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

ah. i feel so at home now.


¤ ¤ credit: ellie | 10.08.02 at 05:05 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You might be a longhorn if your a doctor a lawyer,a nurse, the next Bill Gtes , the next president or just plain smart!!!!!!!

¤ ¤ credit: kelly | 03.28.03 at 07:58 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I believe that would be "just plain delusional", dearie.

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 03.28.03 at 08:04 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You might also be a Longhorn if you still have trouble with that whole "your" vs. "you're" thing.


¤ ¤ credit: Dave | 03.29.03 at 05:25 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

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