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Posted: 05.03.2003 Take that, Ebert! The first review of "The Matrix Reloaded": Jim-Jammity Jesus Krispy Kreme Christ on a twat-rocket, this movie blew me apart and put me back together only after I’d got put back I felt like I had thirteen dicks and they’d all gotten blown by a surfer chick with 26 heads (2 mouths on each cock). I will see it ten times and if I see Star Wars George or that gay Batman director butt-hole any time during the ten screenings here comes Mr. Punch.....This movie is a pillowcase with soda cans inside that beats the living mule-fuck out of you but you’re all like, “Bring it on honky tonk” because the beating feels like summer and Halloween and Cheetos at the same time.....This movie is tits! [review link (with spoilers) courtesy of Sensible Erection]  I CANNOT wait!!! would you take the red pill? or the blue pill? ¤ ¤ credit: Ruthie | 05.03.03 at 01:07 PM | link- -this ¤ ¤ that was a kick ass review. i want to see this so bad. ¤ ¤ credit: kat | 05.03.03 at 01:17 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Hey that review is stolen! I wrote the same damn thing for my "Room With a View" review! *Only kidding. Please don't sue me.* ¤ ¤ credit: Buzz | 05.03.03 at 01:29 PM | link--this ¤ ¤*chuckle* Yah, I'm on pins and needles waiting for this one too. In the meantime, X2 did well to restore my faith in the comic-book-to-movie genre. I'm sure the effects in the new Matrix flick will end up blowing it away, but X2 kicked major ass. I wrote up a review on my blog if anyone's interested. About the only thing I can say about the new Matrix movie is...it's about friggin' time. *taps foot impatiently* ¤ ¤ credit: Mike | 05.03.03 at 02:40 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Wow... hello google on that review. lol And I would like to point out that my karma allowed for it to be released on MY birthday this year! Wahoooooooo! ¤ ¤ credit: Susan | 05.03.03 at 02:44 PM | link--this ¤ ¤What a great review!!! I can't wait!! ¤ ¤ credit: Angel | 05.03.03 at 05:12 PM | link--this ¤ ¤I've already bought tickets to the 11:00 am show for that morning. We get in from Vegas the night before, so I'm going to have to go back to the boss and say I've got to get the cat or something and only come in for the last half of the day. Wish me luck! ¤ ¤ credit: Kymberlie R. McGuire | 05.03.03 at 06:45 PM | link--this ¤ ¤I read that review on AICN. Laughed my ass off!!! -this ¤ ¤Woohoo! And that's about the impression I got just from seeing the trailer. ¤ ¤ credit: Jay Solo | 05.04.03 at 08:41 PM | link--this ¤ ¤As much as I hate AOL-er talk, I was ROTFL at that review. We saw a preview of the Matrix on Wednesday night, and that review pretty much sums it up! (Not a spoiler, but a suggestion for anyone going to see this: watch the first movie again right before going if you're not familiar with it. I have to admit feeling completely ignorant throughout most of the movie because I didn't really remember anything at all about the original.) ¤ ¤ credit: Gretchen | 05.16.03 at 03:47 PM | link--this ¤ ¤
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