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Posted: 04.15.2003
Ain't that America, somethin' to see baby
Some people look at a flag, swaying in the breeze of the White House and say, "That's America." Whenever I see an American flag hung in a window of a basement apartment by guys who have better things to do with their money than buy curtains, I say, "That's America, to me."

In America, there are fifty-one states. Or maybe it's eighty by now. Does England count? I'm not quite sure. The one thing I am sure of is, if I'm standing in a warehouse beside a timeclock, and a guy is punching in his best friend who's too hungover to get out of bed, I'm standing in America. The makeover capital of the world. The place where every young man has to answer in his heart the question: What do you love more, your girlfriend, or your car? Where that young man can buy a beat-up car for three hundred dollars, but have to spend a thousand to insure it. The land where even a paperboy can option the film rights to a book.

America. In America, a woman on an assembly line works out her overtime in her head to infinity, and at the exact same moment, her husband gets into a car crash because he was looking at a girl in a tube top.

America. A land where spelling doesn't count, but people's pets do. Where else can you get a job riding a whale at Marineland? The land where a guy's girlfriend breaks up with him over the phone, so he takes a gun, and kills the principal. Everyone's sad until they get the day off. Next week, another guy, another gal, another, "We can still be friends" phone call. Whuh-oh! The assistant principal gets killed. And everyone is sad because they don't get the day off. Because he was only the assistant principal.

America. A land of opportunity. Yes, that great lumbering beast that journeys tirelessly and stops only to eat a clubhouse sandwich, pick its teeth with a matchbook cover, and falls asleep with the TV on.

America. A place for Americans.

Credit: Kids in the Hall, "That's America"



Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...



I always thouhg Caanda was the 51st state... Anyway, here's our apology http://22minutes.com/featuredclip.php (first one on the list)

¤ ¤ credit: Andrea | 04.15.03 at 02:45 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

That's funny.

A Canadian once told me that sharing a continent with America was like sharing a bed with a gorilla. Most of the time it is not so bad, maybe even nice. But if the gorilla wants to roll over...watch out!

Speaking of great Americans, did you see Dori's 2003 Race for the Cure shirt? We have some extras and I want to send you one. Email me when you get a chance.

¤ ¤ credit: JE | 04.15.03 at 04:55 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Ahhhhh! I love Brucio!
And, from the same source, 'Canada's like America .. without the guns.'
The Fab Five rock.

¤ ¤ credit: Jenni | 04.15.03 at 08:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Another quote from Kids in the Hall (one of my favorite shows)...

Scott Thompson: You are American?
Dave Foley: No, no, I'm Canadian. It's like an American, but without a gun.

And no I'm not making a political commentary. KitH was just a damned funny show, that's all. :)

¤ ¤ credit: Mike | 04.15.03 at 08:37 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I laughed when I read this and thought....
America, where we finance our wheels and tires to put on a hunk of shit car...America :)

¤ ¤ credit: jewdez | 04.15.03 at 11:28 PM | link--this ¤ ¤




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