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Posted: 03.30.2003
Teenage suicide -- don't do it!
So if you're a suicide bomber who decides to blow yourself in front of a group of soldiers, and you only end up injuring 30 -- just killing yourself -- do you still get the 10 young virgins in the after-life? Or are you reduced to something like 10 chain-smoking skanks with the clap from New Jersey*?

* Please note no one from New Jersey was actually targeted or harmed during the making of this entry. Sorry Tennessee.

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

10 virgins? Bah. If you want me to wear a bomb, you better promise me 10 babes who know what the hell they're doing and know what they want. And no fake boobs, either.

¤ ¤ credit: dave | 03.30.03 at 02:13 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

You know, if everyone who supported Iraq decided to blow themselves up, as a show of solidarity, this could be a REALLY short war. Granted, it'd be not so pleasant to clean up, but still, I'm willing to deal with that.

Wait...this is the second time in less that a week that I encouraged people to kill themselves...Maybe I should eat less red meat...

¤ ¤ credit: Tracy | 03.30.03 at 02:55 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

"10 chain-smoking skanks with the clap from New Jersey"

I think I went to HS with some of them.

¤ ¤ credit: Lisa, Gal of Unix | 03.30.03 at 03:04 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I definately went to high school with some of them.

¤ ¤ credit: Darren | 03.30.03 at 04:18 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

My school had the 10 virgins -- and there was a REASON they were virgins.

¤ ¤ credit: BillH | 03.30.03 at 06:20 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

That is just classic!!

¤ ¤ credit: hmw | 03.30.03 at 06:36 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Damn. Couldn't we promise them skanks with the clap from their own country? Why ya gotta pick on my state??

(Oh, did I mention that Texas is in the Final Four?)

¤ ¤ credit: Zuly | 03.30.03 at 07:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

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Hey pretty, don't you wanna take a ride with me through my world?

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