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Posted: 01.22.2003
Book 'im, Danno!
This true story over at Tracy's made me flashback to a funny moment in high school...

A friend of mine had a dad who was a policeman in another town, and he got me a pair of real handcuffs for my 16th birthday. I kept them hanging on the cigarette lighter of my car (for decoration, get your minds out of the gutter). The key was in the console. Well one night my friends were playing around with them during a wicked game of Twister, and somehow the key got lost. But I put the handcuffs right back on their place of honor in my car when I left.

Fast-forward to my Grandpa doing an oil change and car repairs for me a few months later. (I lived with my grandparents for two years in high school.) While he was cleaning out the inside, he called me out to the driveway. My Gma followed. He had noticed the handcuffs for the first time, and asked me if I realized just how dangerous they were. Now mind you, I lived in a small town of less than 25,000 people at the time. But to illustrate his point he said, "Just imagine if you were carjacked. Someone could slap these on your wrists like this (*clink*, *clink*) and you'd be completely defenseless. My jaw hit the pavement. Him, thinking he'd driven his point home. Me, knowing...there was no key.

I didn't know how to tell him, so I mouthed it to my Gma first. Then he asked me for the key. He's standing there wearing ratty "car work" jeans and no shirt. In cuffs. I didn't know how to break it to him and not get killed in the process. But I did. And he was too shocked to be mad at me. Then my Gma started laughing and we all cracked up in unison.

He walked over to their nearest neighbor (they lived 15 miles outside of the city limits), who also happened to be a policeman, hoping he'd be home. He was. But his cuff key didn't fit my cuffs. He had to drive my Grandpa to the local station, cuffed with no shirt on, in his squad car to find a key to fit them. How I avoided being grounded over all this, I'll never know. In our small town, my Grandpa showing up at the police station like that was quite the scandal...not to mention him having to explain to everyone that they were his teenage granddaughter's cuffs (and make them believe it) when he got there...

Needless to say the cuffs didn't go back in my car after that! But the story lives on in infamy.

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

So funny it's true. But the news article Tracy blogged about is doubtful. I haven't yet seen a pair of handcuffs available for purchase to the general public in the UK (and, yep, I have been into 'that kind of shop') that hasn't got a little "quick release" mechanism on the side (that is 'locked' by a little slider on the top of the cuffs). If you are flexible enough, the person wearing the cuffs can unlock the slider and then press the release switch and get yourself undone.

Of course, "real handcuffs" seem to be lacking in that sort of feature for some reason...

¤ ¤ credit: Richy C. | 01.22.03 at 06:15 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Not that you'd know any of this from experience, riiiiight? ;-)

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 01.22.03 at 06:17 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

i was the proud owner of a blue flashing police car light that my friend had 'borrowed' from a cop friend of his (read: he stole it, i had no idea of that though). so of course i took it with me places as a novelty - around the house, sometimes to school (i'd just plug it in somewhere and watch people look really confused), and even to my bunk at camp...

where i was promptly told that it was a crime to even possess one of those lights, and the hancock, new york police were called (the place is as crappy as it sounds) and took it away from me :)

¤ ¤ credit: ericalynn | 01.22.03 at 07:29 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Bwahaha...that sounds just like something my grandpa would have done. Granted, I never had handcuffs at THAT age...

¤ ¤ credit: Tracy | 01.22.03 at 08:24 PM | link--this ¤ ¤


That is too funny girl. Your grandad sounds like a wonderful man with a good sense of humor. :)

¤ ¤ credit: GeekGrrl | 01.22.03 at 08:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

haha great story! thx for sharing!

¤ ¤ credit: Paul | 01.23.03 at 12:39 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Erm, can I plead the fifth? ;)

¤ ¤ credit: Richy C. | 01.23.03 at 09:03 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

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