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Posted: 12.19.2002
Rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums



    The Top 15 Signs Santa is Sick of Christmas

  1. Now relies on a quick Google image search to see if you've been naughty.
  2. Good, bad or on the fence -- *everyone* gets an AOL CD in their stocking this year.
  3. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Yadda, yadda, yadda...."
  4. Sticker on sleigh: "How's my flying? Call 1-800-EAT-SUGARPLUMS"
  5. Former "Naughty/Nice" databases merged into a single "Whatever" database.
  6. Turns Ms. Claus out to work the corner next to the Salvation Army bell ringers.
  7. At midnight on Christmas Eve, gift certificates to Amazon.com will magically appear in the e-mail in-boxes of good girls and boys.
  8. New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.
  9. Hey, kid -- them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!
  10. On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook".
  11. He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the odd ones this year and the even ones next year.
  12. You don't remember a reindeer named "Beyotch".
  13. Joins the Nation of Islam and changes name to "Claus Shabazz".
  14. Under the tree you find a half-eaten cookie and a glass full of urine.

    and the Number 1 Sign Santa is Sick of Christmas...

  15. This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky.
List and image credit: TopFive.com and Spindy's Comics



Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...



Yvonne, Statia, and I are SO screwed with #1!

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 12.19.02 at 04:13 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

The first thing I thought of after seeing that was "Weird Al" Yankovic's song "The Night Santa Went Crazy"!

Check out the lyrics here in case you haven't heard the song yourself:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/weirdalyankovic/thenightsantawentcrazy.html

¤ ¤ credit: Michael Deibler | 12.19.02 at 06:09 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

I have also heard that Santa also reads blogs to see if you've been naughty. Oh dear. :P

¤ ¤ credit: av | 12.19.02 at 07:10 PM | link--this ¤ ¤




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