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Posted: 08.08.2002
Hook THIS!
Maxim Magazine has released their 2002 pre-season top 26 NCAA football poll. A couple of note:

2001 record: 11–2 (6–2 Big 12)
Returning starters: 8 offense, 7 defense
When your top returning receiver is a tight end, it means one of two things: 1. Your offensive coordinator’s as imaginative as a zipper company brand manager; or 2. Your quarterback has the field vision of a chronic masturbator. Replacements at both spots ensure change, for better or worse—but most likely better. Then again, what difference does it make, when Bob Stoops could suit up 11 tranny Eagle Scouts on the other side of the ball and still hold the Longhorns to a field goal?

5. texas
2001 record: 11–2 (7–1 Big 12)
Returning starters: 8 offense, 5 defense
Mack Brown will not win a national championship. Ever. Hell, the poor bastard will likely never win a conference championship. But four consecutive nine-plus-win seasons have fans and friends believing the longhorns are entitled to a Sears Trophy just for coming within range for so many years. Get used to it. Mack W. Bush is the game’s best recruiter but is mediocre come game day and, along with QB Chris Simms, is deathly allergic to the big game. The luckiest team in the Big 12 finally plays Nebraska and Kansas State—both in down years—and boasts a non-conference slate highlighted by North Carolina, so a 10-win regular season is bankable.

I don't think I could've said it better myself. And I swear I didn't write that. I also particularly liked the rejection letter at the bottom of the page. Check out the full article online at Maxim.

Hey boy take a look at me...let me dirty up your mind...

Hmm, what happens if you convert a fan to another team? Does one have to formally denounce the former team of choice?

I'm asking this because I'd only be changing one color.

¤ ¤ credit: annessa | 08.08.02 at 10:58 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Nah -- I'm a fan of several NCAA teams (unless they're playing us). C'mon over! Everyone looks good wearing crimson and cream... ;-)

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 08.08.02 at 11:15 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Nebraska #15?? I'm never going to read that damn diry mag again. Well, only if they have really hot girls on the cover. *nods* But ONLY then! ;-)

¤ ¤ credit: jenni | 08.09.02 at 01:30 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Hey...A&M at #23? Oh yeah, we suck. And even when we don't suck, we choke, like when we could have beaten the Sooners at Kyle but felt like fumbling a few times instead.

Should be another 'interesting' season.

¤ ¤ credit: ben | 08.09.02 at 10:02 AM | link--this ¤ ¤

Guys, we're talking Maxim magazine here. Not a paragon of sports know how. I wonder who's ranked best in the *real* polls. Hmmmm.... :)

¤ ¤ credit: Cody | 08.12.02 at 09:53 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

Gee, you don't say Cody? I don't think I would've ever been able to figure that out all by myself...

And for the record, we've received the SI "kiss of death" #1 ranking.

¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 08.12.02 at 10:01 PM | link--this ¤ ¤

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