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Posted: 08.05.2002 Are you ready for some fooooootball?
Tonight Monday Night Football makes a triumphant pre-season return as the new Houston Texans take on the New York Giants. I am still mourning the loss of Dennis Miller, however. I cannot stand John Madden.
"You know, what they're doing now is called a pass. You throw passes in football. Did I tell you about this time I almost didn't pass a math exam? Like this time on 'Matlock'. It's all about timing. And passes are based on timing. Like that time I almost didn't pass..." During about 90% of his color commentary I will usually end up screaming, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT...UP MAN!" The old guy is senile and lost his skillz long ago. Long, long ago... So I thought I'd take a little poll and see which of these two personalities you think would win in a game of "Brain-Dead Celebrity Jeopardy" -- John Madden or Anna Nicole Smith. Granted, they're both a few fries short of a Happy Meal. But unless every category was sports or eyeshadow...I think that match-up might be too close to call. Oh well, there's always the mute button. It's time for a Monday Night party! C'mon let's kick it.  I vote Anna Nicole Smith just because she sounds piss-drunk every time she opens her mouth. But, I too, will be screaming at the TV on Monday nights. :) ¤ ¤ credit: leandra | 08.05.02 at 03:22 PM | link- -this ¤ ¤ aww christ after last night's show? Anna Nicole smith, hands down. She sounds like she's been eating retard sammiches again. ¤ ¤ credit: statia | 08.05.02 at 03:27 PM | link--this ¤ ¤You know how I feel about dear Anna. As for Madden, I mute the tv when he's talking, but I do thank him for Madden 2K. I'm ready for some football!!! ¤ ¤ credit: michele | 08.05.02 at 03:34 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Man, I'm gonna miss shit like this: "Ah, the Jefferson Memorial -- a stunning testimonial to TV's beloved Weezie Jefferson." -- Dennis Miller Madden 2002 is pretty sweet though. I just can't believe we actually PAID to hear him talk more... ¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 08.05.02 at 03:38 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Hehe, I watched my roomates play that game from time to time, and asked them how they could deal with his announcing - they said "well, at least it's better than his real life commentary." :) ¤ ¤ credit: ste | 08.05.02 at 04:03 PM | link--this ¤ ¤He's a schmuck. He'll always be a schmuck. He should have taken a cue from Pat and left with a little (VERY little) dignity. ¤ ¤ credit: Susan | 08.05.02 at 05:01 PM | link--this ¤ ¤don't forget - Madden is afraid to fly. actually, i don't mind him all that much. sure, he's pretty lame at times, but he's got an enthusiasm for the game, and being an ex-coach, he knows a bit more. he's still light years better than Greg Gumbel, who could make a wet T-shirt contest seem boring and dull.... ¤ ¤ credit: mikey | 08.05.02 at 06:29 PM | link--this ¤ ¤That's where we differ. I don't think he knows football. I think he knew football. The elevator no longer goes to the second floor... I'm in total agreement with you on Greg Gumbel though! ¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 08.05.02 at 06:35 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Why is it that Anna Nicole sounded perfectly normal when she was sitting there with no make-up on and explaining things, but as soon as she put on the eye shadow, she started to turn into whatever the hell that was. Someone spiked the make-up? And about Madden, love the old guy. Hate Dannis Miller. He may be more alert and more intelligent, he is still a pompous ass. ¤ ¤ credit: danielle | 08.05.02 at 06:47 PM | link--this ¤ ¤I don't view D.M. as a pompous ass at all -- but rather someone that insists on being themself on TV, rather than dumbing their content down for 90% of the viewing public just to "fit in" and make sure everyone's on the same Dick-and-Jane page. I saw him live in '91 and my sides still hurt. ¤ ¤ credit: robyn | 08.05.02 at 06:56 PM | link--this ¤ ¤I hate John Madden. But, and this is a huge but, there's a worse alternative that could have happened here. Bob Costas. I fucking hate Bob Costas like I hate Jesse Camp, and I really hate Jesse Camp. ¤ ¤ credit: jesse | 08.06.02 at 01:23 PM | link--this ¤ ¤Anna Nicole Smith may be fat, but she's got some kind of a slutty sex appeal even if she is dumb as a stick. Those boobs make up for it a little bit :) -this ¤ ¤John Madden is the worst commentator ever. Every monday night the tv gets muted, His comments are annoying and obvious to even the newest person to football... something like "They are behind because they arent scoring any points, they are scoring any points because they cant seem to gain any positve yardage" N0 SH#T JOHN!!! It would be better you said nothing then annoy the fans of football on monday nights.. ¤ ¤ credit: Bill | 12.25.02 at 09:27 PM | link--this ¤ ¤
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