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Posted: 12.21.2001
Santa baby...
Well I had to add this joke list once I got to number 1!

The Top 15 Things on Santa's To-Do List

15. Virgin or not, time to move little Miss Britney to the "Naughty" list.
14. Have the elves increase production on those cheesy Xbox knock-offs.
13. Cancel wrapping paper order -- use those Enron stock certificates instead.
12. Decide how to respond to Ashcroft's subpoena demanding information on what foreigners are naughty or nice.
11. Administer nine little Breathalyzer tests.
10. File a flight plan with the FAA -- wouldn't want an F-16 wasting the sleigh.
9. Irradiate all those letters from children -- you can't be too careful!
8. Remove candy canes from pants pockets during mall photo sessions. Getting tired of explaining things to the D.A.'s office.
7. Write letter to self asking for threesome with Mrs. Claus and Heidi Klum.
6. Finally shave the beard now that the Taliban has fallen.
5. Attend weekly meeting at Nogaholics Anonymous.
4. Touch up the urine-proof lamination job on the the thighs before heading to the mall.
3. Visit reindeer stalls to load up on stocking stuffers for a certain Mr. bin Laden.
2. Prepare a lump of coal with Winona Ryder's name on it.

and the Number 1 Thing on Santa's To-Do List...

1. Write back to Susie Winfield of Peoria; ask her how on God's green earth she thinks a whole pony is going to fit down a friggin' chimney.

© TopFive.com 2001







Mine is not to wonder why, mine is just to get the damn pony! ;)

¤ ¤ posted by Todd on December 21, 2001 at 03:01 PM ¤ ¤

Enter your name at the prompt and enjoy. I mean every word.

¤ ¤ posted by meryl on December 21, 2001 at 03:52 PM ¤ ¤

That is too cool -- I need an alarm clock like that! ;-) Thank you!

¤ ¤ posted by robyn on December 21, 2001 at 04:11 PM ¤ ¤




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