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Personal blog entries now here. Blogger Boobie-Thon moved here.
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An open love letter to texass
All you motherfuckers are gonna pay, You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. We're gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to the Cotton Bowl and find those Longhorn fucks who are talking that smack, we're gonna make 'em eat our shit, then shit out our shit, then eat their shit which is made up of our shit that we made 'em eat. Then you're all fucking next.

Love,
Jay and Silent Bob


Can you say "four-peat", baby? Suuuuuure. I knew you could.
posted at 12:45 PM | link--it | mail it | (0) shout it






'Nuff said

[ESPN Power 16 Ranking]
posted at 03:00 PM | link--it | mail it | (11) shout it






Gutsiest move I ever saw, man...
Phew. Hats-off to a Crimson Tide squad that literally gave us all we could handle! I'm officially back to being one of your biggest fans again...

"That team is the most underrated in the country," Sooners co-defensive coordinator Mike Stoops said about Alabama on the field after the game. "And what an environment to play in."
posted at 06:01 AM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it






New Oklahoma Quarters to be Recalled!
If any of you are collecting the new state quarters, you may have to wait a while for the Oklahoma ones. The United States Treasury Department has announced they are recalling the new Oklahoma quarters. "We are recalling all of the new Oklahoma quarters that were recently issued," Treasury Undersecretary Russell Shackelford said in a press conference Monday.

"This comes in the wake of numerous reports to this agency that the quarters will not work in parking meters, toll booths, vending machines, pay phones, or other coin-operated devices." "We believe the problem lies in a design flaw," said Shackelford.

The winning design for the Oklahoma State quarter was submitted by an OSU graduate student named William Doutrieux. "Apparently, the duct tape holding the two dimes and nickel together keeps jamming the coin-operated devices."
posted at 03:53 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it



Roll...pride!

[crimson pride]

Tomorrow OU takes on Bama in a back-to-back matchup. OU came from behind to defeat Bama 37-27 at home last year. This year -- it's personal. The game is at Bama and they have a lot to prove after last season's loss and the off-season they've had. Both teams are fresh off their first win of the season.

I have nothing but a great deal of respect for the Tide. They've always been one of my favorite teams other than my own to watch, and their pigskin history and tradition runs just as deep as my own school's -- not to mention, they wear the right colors. If we have to lose a game this year, there's no dishonor in walking out of Bryant-Denny Stadium without a "W". Only time will tell... Bring it on. And Boomer Sooner!

UPDATE: OU is the first number one opponent to play at Bryant-Denny.
posted at 11:35 AM | link--it | mail it | (10) shout it



Fock Me Amadeus
File this under, "Yep. That'll do it Pokes!" From FARK, dated 02/03:

[OSU] Student Government Association senators Derek Davies and Paul Goeringer...are co-authors of an SGA (Student Government Association) recommendation that proposes to change the name of Oklahoma State University to The Oklahoma State University...

...Davies, an agricultural economics junior, said, "Well, we were all sitting around trying to think of ways to make OSU more prestigious and help us compete nationally better. We then looked at the examples of Ohio State and Penn State with their names while we were at an agricultural conference and thought that we could do that at OSU in order to put us more in the national light."
[link]
That's almost as brilliant as just renaming their stadium to Boone Pickens Stadium.

Of course, that would be even more amusing if OU hadn't renamed theirs "The Gaylord Family-Oklahoma Memorial Stadium". Rock the Fock!
posted at 04:12 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it






Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'...
Twelve years ago, I entered the University of Oklahoma. Twelve years. Since then three classes of freshman have come and gone. Now I find out the new class of entering freshman were born in 1985. Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their two dads. And CNN has a new article on the cultural gap between students and professors. You can find the full list here -- but make sure to take your Geritol and a Darvocet first.
posted at 11:00 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






You own it - you better never let it go

[throwback players] [throwback cheerleaders] [throwback coaches]

OU defeated North Texas 37-3 in its season opener last night. It was in front of a record crowd of 83,073 after the stadium expansion -- the most to ever witness a sporting event in the state of Oklahoma. The players took the field in throwback uniforms honoring the Bud Wilkinson teams of the late 1950s, the cheerleaders wore uniforms honoring teams from the 1940s, and the coaches wore outfits honoring the Barry Switzer teams of the 1970s and 1980s. OU opened the season No. 1 for the first time since Switzer's 1987 squad had the honors. Next week...Bama at Bama!
posted at 08:43 AM | link--it | mail it | (11) shout it






I'm so excited -- and I just can't hide it!

[Oklahoma Memorial Stadium]

I love the smell of football in the morning. Kickoff at 7 p.m. on Fox Sports.
posted at 05:47 AM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it






About damned time
(Big XII) College Football starts today! And there was much rejoicing...
posted at 08:39 AM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it






The day they'll wear the Crimson and Cream
Here's one more video I've put up online for you to enjoy and get you pumped up for football season. This one is much smaller than the one I put up yesterday, so it should download for you fairly quickly. It's required viewing for anyone who wants to know why Todd and I want to be parents so badly (just wait 'til about half-way through). We're both Sooner born and Sooner bred and very much looking forward to passing along the Saturday tradition...

The video's narrated by Oklahoman (and my OU graduation speaker) James Garner.
posted at 10:25 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






Here comes the BOOM!



I linked a few of these last season, and new ones were just put up for 2003-04. I uploaded one for your viewing pleasure. I promise that you don't even have to be a Sooner fan to enjoy the video. But if it doesn't get you pumped for football season, I would like to check your pulse.
posted at 01:46 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it






Nineteen days to go! But who's counting?
A new photo of OU's new Grad Assistant, my Joshie, Josh Heupel --
and OU's quarterback, my hunka hunka Sooner love, Jason White.
You'll have to excuse me for a moment while I collect myself...


[Heupel and White]
posted at 12:01 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it






Oh, snap!
I swear, if it weren't for bad luck with Sooners in the pros here lately...
posted at 05:09 AM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it






Because I haven't accepted it's not time for Saturday foosball yet
"The Sooners defense is fast, tough and mean. First they tackle you. then they humiliate you. Then they go after your credit rating." —College Football News
posted at 10:52 AM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it






Are you pumped? I can't hear you!
Today is "Meet the Sooners Day" and tonight is OU's first practice. It has begun. Oh yes, it has begun.

UPDATE: Glad I'm not standing in these lines in 104° weather!
posted at 01:06 PM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it






The Sooner Schooner

[2003 Sooner media guide]

The Florida Gators shouldn't feel too bad -- it can happen to anyone. Take the University of Oklahoma for example... (Link courtesy of FARK.com.)
posted at 12:12 PM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it






So you'd better treat 'er right
I had a couple of new designs launch this past week -- West Indies Cricket Blog and HotLiberty.com (currently empty, optimized for 800x600 by request). Both Ryan and Jeff should be sainted for their patience -- it's been a bumpy summer. I've probably neglected to mention a few other new "connect the dots" and Sekimori Designs over the past few weeks as well, so you can always be nosey and snoop through the portfolio. New designs have a pink star by 'em...

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that the Suncoast Sooners site has been updated for the 2003 OU football season. Let's get ready to ruuuuuuumble!
posted at 12:53 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it



It's the "little" things

Apparently I'm now #1 in Yahoo! and Google for "fat Oklahoma fan". Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals. I'm living proof. Beefcake. BEEFCAKE!
posted at 06:12 AM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it






Sooner bred
My Joshie has joined the OU Sooners coaching staff as a graduate assistant! It's been a roller-coaster ride for Heupel the last couple of years after suffering a wrist-injury in Dolphins training camp, so I certainly hope this is the beginning of many great things to come for Josh. Good luck -- and Boomer Sooner!
posted at 05:02 PM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it






I've been working on the railroad
"Its not that I think Mack Brown is a bad coach. Hes one of the best in the country. How many guys out there would give their right arm to be 49-15 at their school? Its just that he has the misfortune of being in the same division and on the Cotton Bowl sideline opposite arguably the best coach in the country. Macks staff does tend to err on the side of conservatism, and you cant beat a staff like Bob Stoops by being conservative." [link]
And so it begins... Bring. It. On.
posted at 06:22 PM | link--it | mail it | (1) shout it






Got me lookin' so crazy right now
Don't know if anyone caught Big Brother IV tonight, but there's a Sooner in the hizzouse (named Nathan). And in somewhat related news...must have one of these!
posted at 10:13 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






Crimson and Cream
A bit of Sooner news to pass along...

  1. SI's 2003 OU Sooner Preview
  2. Jason White, my hunka-hunka Sooner love, has been chosen as this fall's starter at QB!
  3. So much for all those "OU can't graduate players" rumors. The American Football Coaches Association is honoring us, and 31 other schools, for graduating 82% of the 1997-98 freshman class.
  4. Fluff news piece from Todd: Former OU QB, and Cleveland Browns rookie QB, Nate Hybl crowns the 2003 Pro Football Hall of Fame Festival Queen.
Just
posted at 01:18 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it






Resistance is futile

[Rupert Jee and the Hello Deli on Letterman]

So did anyone else happen to catch Rupert Jee's shirt on Letterman last night?
posted at 08:03 AM | link--it | mail it | (15) shout it






99 bottles of beer until fall...99 bottles of beer
Can I kindly direct everyone's attention over to the sidebar for just a moment? There are now less than 100 days until OU's football season 2003 kicks off. And there was much rejoicing...
posted at 06:52 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it






And wave it like you just don't care

[Oklahoma nader]

And you guys just thought I was a diehard Sooner fan... (more photos)
posted at 11:47 AM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






It's in the game
Heads-up. If you're experiencing symptoms of Todd-withdrawal, he'll be writing online again soon. But there's a catch... It's gonna be sports related. My favorite Sooner will be representin' the Big XII over at Fanblogs.com.

Fanblogs.com is a group weblog dedicated to college football. This effort is the brainchild of a couple of guys who really love football (and beer). They gathered up some people, who told some people, who invited a few people along. The result is a collective blog for fans who know that week isn't over until you've posted about the big games, and the little games, and the practices, and the cheerleaders, and the tailgating, and...I think you get the picture. [link]

Be there or be !

UPDATE: You can now find Todd's first entry here.
posted at 09:26 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it






The Pride of Ooooo..klahoma!
The University of Oklahoma raised well over $100 million dollars in their Great Expectations Campaign, $65 million of which was earmarked for a stadium renovation at Owen Field. The fundraising began right after the OU/Nebraska game in 2000, and construction is nearing completion for opening day this August. (Click here for Memorial Stadium renderings to see the completed upgrade sketches.) I feel an amazing sense of pride when looking through all of the renovation photographs -- I just can't believe how far the stadium has come since my days as a student.

OU students who aren't football fans can complain all they want about how much the athletics programs get, and how little the academic programs get -- but Owen Field is my place of worship. To see it now almost gives me chills. It's returning to glory because our football program has led us back there. I can't wait to step inside the gates once again! (Visit oustadiumpics.com for chronological updates on the expansion -- most recently on 05.05.03.)
posted at 12:14 AM | link--it | mail it | (5) shout it






I r coach

Its been a long time since any of us was naive enough to believe that coaches, as a group, are legitimate tutors of ethics in undergraduates. Only a handful of them meet the old expectation of coach-as-teacher and model for manly behavior anymore — Bob Stoops of Oklahoma comes to mind — and you can argue over whether many of them ever did. [quote from MSNBC.com]

Only ....
posted at 08:02 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it






Who 'dat?

Warren [Sapp] was interviewed at a Orlando Magic game. The reporter asked him, "What do you think of your knew quarterback Chris Simms?" His answer was: "Who? Who is that?" [pay-link from Todd]

Now that sounds more like my Tampa Bay Buccaneers!
posted at 07:23 PM | link--it | mail it | (0) shout it






[slow mo] Noooooooooooo [/slow mo]
Todd made me login to publicly state that we will never, EVER consider him a Buccaneer -- much less cheer for him. What was Chucky thinking? Ugh. Expect the two of us to be bringing some very interesting signs to training camp this summer...
posted at 08:56 PM | link--it | mail it | (15) shout it






Curses - foiled again!
So I see OU didn't really beat the 'whorns the last three years running...interesting!
posted at 11:49 PM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it






Iraq the casbah

[OU flag in Iraq]

A quick follow-up to this photo. Never let it be said that Sooners don't represent!
posted at 11:06 PM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it






We're Texas
[Jenna Bush - rave parties - football games]
  1. after Ricky won the Heisman...
  2. he was all like, hook 'em, hook 'em...
  3. where else can a total tool like me get laid...
  4. nationally ranked in hackey-sack and ultimate frisbee...
  5. that would explain Chris actually being a little bitch...
It's just not fair that we won't have Chrissy for one more year... He was OU's MVP. (Special thanks go out to Stephanie at the Sooner Club for the much-needed laugh!)
posted at 02:52 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






Be true to your school
God, I love my university!

To welcome an extra 8,100 fans into the stadium...Sooners players will will be wearing retro crimson and cream jerseys reminiscent of those worn during the Bud Wilkinson coaching era (1947-1963), a time period when the Sooners had a 47-game winning streak and captured three national championships. Bob Stoops and his coaching staff will be outfitted in gear similar to that worn during the Barry Switzer coaching era (1974-1989), when the school's football team won another three national championships.

Replica jerseys and sideline apparel made by Nike will be called "The Legacy Series" and will be available for Sooners fans to purchase in the fall. Jerseys will be available with the numbers of current day players as well as Nos. 35 and 36, which belong to 1952 Heisman Trophy winner Billy Vessels and 1969 Heisman Trophy winner Steve Owens, respectively.
Just (Link courtesy of my husband, who's not really supposed to be surfing sports sites from work. Ahem.)
posted at 02:32 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it






I've got my orange crush
[tex-ass can bite my ass] Let this be a lesson to you boys and girls... When you go out and cheer for tex-ass, you only succeed in looking like an ass!

Hasta la bye-bye 'whorns. Your lovely parting gifts are at stage-left. You just thought it was funny when the mighty Orangemen beat us last week, huh? Good luck Jayhawks!

texass sucks...texass sucks...
texass can bite my ass!
texass sucks...texass sucks...
texass can bite my ass!
texass suuuuuuuucks!
texass suuuuuuuucks!
texass can bite my ass!
bite, bite! chew, chew! texas bites my ass, whoo hoo!
texass can bite my aaaaasssssssss!

posted at 11:19 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






Turnover, party of five
Well we're sucking serious ass today. I think I could play better drunk.

UPDATE: Well it's now time to point out that only Boomer Sooner!
posted at 03:26 PM | link--it | mail it | (16) shout it






Not such a "Big Easy"
Comments like this are exactly why I never talk sports smack pre-game in other people's blogs, or make predictions on where my Sooners will end up. Sorry 'bout the Wildcats loss, Ashley! Now I just hope the Jayhawks can represent for the Big XII and take care of the other Wildcat team this evening...

UPDATE: Two number one seeds went down today. How 'bout the Big XII representin'?!
posted at 07:56 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it






Eight is enough...for now
Please join me in welcoming the Oklahoma Sooners to the Elite Eight, baby! The Butler didn't do it. (Next up the winner of the Syracuse vs. Auburn game.)
posted at 09:11 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it



God bless America

[Even In Iraq]

posted at 08:58 PM | link--it | mail it | (12) shout it






O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A
This is so freakin' ridiculous... Today it was announced that the Oklahoma basketball program graduates 0% of its members and has the lowest graduation-average in this year's Sweet 16. "A school is credited with graduating students within six years of their freshman year, and is not credited for transfers or junior college players who may get their degrees."

''Our graduation rate is 100 percent,'' Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson said. ''That freshman class (1995-96) was Bobby Joe Evans and Michael Cotton, and they both graduated. Bobby Joe from here and Michael from Boston College.

''They can stereotype us all they want, but the bottom line is our kids are graduating.''
As pointed out on FARK, "According to the NCAA, a player who transfers never graduates. Same goes for JUCO transfers. Until the NCAA redoes the way it calculates graduation rates, this whole this is like pissing into the wind." OU's roster is heavily paded with JUCO transfers, for the record.

But go ahead and make fun of Oklahoma all you want. At least we're not Oklahoma State.
posted at 07:51 PM | link--it | mail it | (8) shout it






How sweet 16 it'is!
Oklahoma defeated Cal today 74-65 to advance to the Sweet 16 in Albany, NY! Can I get a "Boomer Sooner"?!
posted at 08:09 PM | link--it | mail it | (14) shout it






I play some bas-ket-ball
Still on dialup...but wanted to take a few moments to congratulate the Lady Sooners who've just been invited to play in the NCAA Tourney. They're a 10th seed and their first game will be on our home court in Norman, OK. Good luck girls!

The OU mens team three-peated today and won the Big XII Tournament Championship for the third straight year. It was a fuh-gly performance with a blown 22-point lead in the second half, but the Sooners went on to defeat Mizzou 49-47. The mens NCAA Tourney seeding will be announced later this evening. I must say I'm a little concerned. OU didn't have a pretty second half in any of the Big XII Tournament games. They got in foul trouble against Colorado. They blew a huge lead over Texas Tech and ended up going into overtime yesterday. And then there was today's collapse... Let's hope a week of regrouping, and free throw practice, will help get us back on track.

Although my belongs to football, March Madness is awesome baby!
posted at 05:27 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it






Sooner Magic requested
Todd just found this for me on Josh Heupel:

Josh Heupel is expected to sign with the Indiana Firebirds today after the former University of Oklahoma quarterback works out with the Arena Football League team. Heupel...is expected to join the Firebirds if he passes the team's physical exam. (Read more at IndyStar.com.)
Man, I'm almost afraid to blog it for fear of jinxing him again. I hope this is finally the big break he needs to put all those lingering doubts about his wrist to rest once and for all... Good luck, Josh! You've just given us a reason to watch the AFL.
posted at 02:52 PM | link--it | mail it | (3) shout it






My hunka, hunka Sooner love
[click for popup of OU QB Jason White] Even if for a brief, shining moment...it's time to talk OU football again! Spring practice kicked off Monday in Norman. And good news -- OU QB Jason White is expected to be cleared for all drills by late this week. You may or may not remember that Jason had his season ended in 2001 when he blew out his left knee in the Nebraska game, only to have his 2002 season ended by blowing out his right knee in the Alabama game. That's not to say that Jason will win the starting job. But as someone who's given his heart, soul and two knees to OU football -- I'm cheering him on with all I've got! Only

And in somewhat depressing Sooner news, there's been an update on the status of Josh Heupel and the NFL Europe Barcelona Dragons. He's been released due to lingering wrist injury.
posted at 09:27 PM | link--it | mail it | (12) shout it






Do not miss your chance to blow
Former OU QB Josh Heupel has been drafted by the NFL Europe Barcelona Dragons! Better yet, the Dragons do their spring training here in Tampa Bay! Oh yeah, so going to make a scrimmage or two if at all possible...

UPDATE: For those hitting my site searching for more information... James Hale of OUInsider.com is now reporting as of 3/9 that Josh Heupel has been cut from the Barcelona Dragons due to the lingering wrist injury (and as a result, not passing the team physical). He is reported to be back in Norman, Oklahoma now.
posted at 09:52 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it






I'd have to say it was a good day
My Bucs are going to the Super Bowl, and tonight the Sooners defeated Bobby Knight and the Red Raiders 69-64 in OT, after an amazing last-second shot by Price to tie it up. Time to get back to work, but man that was a great ending!
posted at 11:15 PM | link--it | mail it | (4) shout it






If only we had one more year
Oh I'm gonna miss him... Todd has the Senior Bowl on right now, and Chris Simms is QBing the South team, currently losing 17-0. So far we've watched Chrissy fumble, drive two three-and-outs and throw a pick. At the one yard line. That was run back for a 99-yard TD. Pan to the sideline after commercial with Chris explaining the interception to his coach -- "I thought I had 'im." Yep, that pretty much defines your whole collegiate career, Simms. We'll miss ya'!

UPDATE: FOX News reports on-air that Chrissy set a Senior Bowl interception record. Heh.
posted at 04:26 PM | link--it | mail it | (6) shout it






It's awesome, baby!
Boomer Sooner Well soooooooooome people seem to only think it's a football-only week this week. I think they forget that even though I love the Bucs and Mr. John Lynch with a pewter passion, my heart belongs to the Sooners and only the Sooners. And tonight...it's Bedlam, baby! Tipoff's at 9 p.m. EST. ESPN. Be there or be !
posted at 03:22 PM | link--it | mail it | (7) shout it






I play some bas-ket-ball
So did anyone catch our #9 Sooners as they defeated #3 UConn 73-63 on ESPN2 tonight? Connecticut was one of the last 3 unbeaten teams. Not anymore. This marks OU's 30th straight win at home.

A game of note -- the 2003 Bedlam series between OU and OSU kicks off next Monday night in Stillwater. It will be broadcast on ESPN at 9 p.m. EST on January 13th.
posted at 10:08 PM | link--it | mail it | (9) shout it






got photoshop?
There.....all better now. Don't you agree? Friends don't let friends go to UT.



posted at 05:47 PM | link--it | mail it | (2) shout it



Na na na na - na na na na - hey hey hey, goodbye!



YES! Ohio State wins, and Miami goes down. 34-game winning streak is snapped, and Bud Wilkinson's Sooner squad's 47-game win streak is just a little bit safer. No sixth ring for the 'Canes just yet. A lot of local victory parties are going to have to be cancelled this weekend, just like when FSU thought they could walk all over us in 2000.

That said, after those controversial "pass interference" calls in the OTs, maybe when we bitch about Big XII officiating in the future, we'll get a little more sympathy?


UPDATE: An interesting article at ESPN.com examines the Glenn Sharpe pass interference call in overtime.


..."I really thought that game was over," says UM secondary coach Mark Stoops [brother of University of Oklahoma coaches Bob Stoops and Mike Stoops]. "Just like everybody else. And there's not another official in the history of the game that would make that call."

In the last two years, the Big 12 has issued at least two known letters of apology after games where Porter has made controversial calls.

Sharpe said he didn't think he interfered. He was only being aggressive. Just like Stoops instructed him to do. "We were blitzing," Stoops explained. "I didn't want them to catch a little slant or a little hitch. I told 'em to get in the receiver's face because there's not an official that's gonna make that call...

Do you think Miami should have been called on pass-interference?



Not that I'm complaining of the outcome, because quite honestly it benefits my Sooners for seasons to come. But I've seen the replay a million times on television now and I just don't see it. The game of football is physical, and I quote Mark Stoops: "If you're gonna let us play, well, let us play."
posted at 12:21 AM | link--it | mail it | (25) shout it






The grapes of wrath make bitter whines
34-14 you pompous son of a bitch. For the record, most of the jokes you cracked come out of the likes of Stillwater grads and residents -- not the ones from Norman. But I guess easier to assume that all Washingtonians wear flannel, are strung out on heroin, listen to Pearl Jam and sip on Starbucks -- now isn't it? Once again I ask, with feeling -- "got seven"? Didn't. Think. So.


Inviting Oklahoma is OK after all
2003-01-01
By John Blanchette
Spokane (Wash.) Spokesman-Review

All right, I've reconsidered.

Sure, at first I hated what the BCS did to the Rose Bowl. I hated that the Big Ten/ Pac-10 marriage had been annulled, that the University of Oklahoma would be Washington State's opponent instead of Iowa or Ohio State. I hated that all the starchy tradition of the Rose Bowl had been sullied by inviting the Joad family to Pasadena.

Upon further review, never mind.

OK is OK by me.

I didn't come around until the other day when I discovered that the great state of Oklahoma -- the bustling city of Wilson, OK, to be precise -- is the proud home of the Chuck Norris Museum.

The Chuck . . . Norris . . . Museum.

So it's not the Louvre or the Smithsonian. You try to capture the culture that is out there to be captured, and in Oklahoma, apparently, it's the culture of Chuck, one of our most beloved and accomplished Hollywood thespians. Once upon a time, his brother, director Aaron Norris, paid tribute to Chuck by saying, "You never have to worry about him overacting."

Unlike, say, a privet hedge.

Of course, Chuck Norris and his museum ("and over here is rare footage of Chuck parting his lips to speak") doesn't have anything to do with the Rose Bowl, except as a way to bash Oklahoma.

And that's what was wrong with the old traditional Rose Bowl. Before, the local favorite -- be it WSU or Washington -- would get matched against a team of stolid sons of the Midwest. They were pretty much impervious to insult. Oh, you might be able to poke fun at Bo Schembechler's Rose Bowl record at Michigan, or make a crack about the game being the biggest event for Iowans next to the squash judging at the state fair.

But it was hard to put your soul into it. You don't just rip on the heart of America.

This year is different. This year, it's Oklahoma in the Rose Bowl, and for some reason, Oklahoma virtually begs you to make fun of it. Fans of rival schools in the Big 12 have been doing it for years.

Q: What do they call duct tape in Oklahoma?

A: Chrome!

See? It's easy. You try it.

Look, I'm not suggesting we're all that much superior up here in Washington. We have our foibles, our flaws, our unsightly flat spaces. But we just don't wear that "Kick Me" sign quite as comfortably as Oklahoma does.

And some of it's a bad rap, I'm sure. Take the land. Those of us who had to read "The Grapes of Wrath" in Mr. Whalen's English class and then watch Henry Fonda in the movie will never get those dismal Dust Bowl images out of our heads, but Oklahoma has some spectacular scenery, or so I'm told. Like the Arbuckle Mountains.

Well, they're called mountains in Oklahoma. You know them as curbs.

Think I'm kidding? The highest point in Oklahoma isn't even a mountain. It's a mesa. It comes up to Rainier's kneecaps.

Besides that, it's in New Mexico.

Not that Oklahomans can do anything about the topography. You play the land you're dealt.

But they can pick their leaders, and for the past eight years they've picked as their governor, Frank Keating, whose favorite food is foot. When ex- Seahawks pass catcher Steve Largent abandoned his Tulsa- district Congressional seat to run for the office Keating must give up next year, the governor's wife, Cathy, entered the runoff -- and lost magnificently.

"My hometown, to do this, was very dumb," Keating complained after the election.

This is the same man who once greeted Charlton McIlwain at a Chamber of Commerce forum by saying, "Are you here to serve us?"

McIlwain was the only black man in the room.

Possibly this would be a good time for Gary Locke to press his bets.

Ah, but that's politics, and I got scolded the other day for soiling the sports page with politics.

What about sports?

Well, sure, the Sooners are plenty good at most every game they try, though they had to steal away WSU's coach, Kelvin Sampson, to get good at basketball again. A couple years ago, Bob Stoops steered them to a national championship in football -- the first since Barry Switzer was playing warden in Norman.

And you can't talk Sooners without talking Barrah.

Barrah won three national titles in his day, which is why he was once moved to proclaim, "Other people and teams across the country dream about winning. We invented it."

Of course, the Sooners also invented probation, Brian Bosworth, steroid rage, college cocaine rings, and arming players with Uzis. Eventually, they invented appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated in an orange prison jumpsuit and handcuffs.

If you're scoring at home.

Barrah continued his stellar record of building good citizens with the Dallas Cowboys and OU eventually regained its sanity -- which reminds me: Why is it the University of Oklahoma, but also OU?

Back in Barrah's day, they called it IOU.

I've left out a lot of stuff here. The airport in Oklahoma City is, of course, named after Will Rogers, Oklahoma's No. 1 native son. That he died in a plane crash apparently didn't register on the local irony meter.

Oklahoma gave us the parking meter and the McDonald's drive-thru window. There's an oil well on the grounds of the state capitol.

Beaver, Okla., is the Cow Chip Throwing Capital of the World. It gave us Pretty Boy Floyd and Belle Starr. Yes, yes, it gave us plenty of dignitaries and heroes, too -- Walter Cronkite, Mickey Mantle, Geronimo, Woody Guthrie.

But it also gave us Hanson. Hanson.

And now it threatens to turn the Rose Bowl into the Dust Bowl.

Well, fine by me. It's just too bad the game isn't in Norman instead of Pasadena.

I can't believe I'm going to miss the Chuck Norris Museum.


(Thanks to Robbie for passing this along, originally published in the Daily Oklahoman.)
posted at 06:11 PM | link--it | mail it | (14) shout it






The grandaddy of 'em all wears crimson 'n' cream

OU wins the 2003 Rose Bowl!

How many times did the Sooners have to hear, "You don't deserve to be here." Or, "But you're not a Pac 10 or Big 10 team..." Everything from piss and vinegar out of the likes of Keith Jackson, to smug superiority from coaches, players and reporters. Like the Big XII just isn't good enough to take the field with the other conferences. Very reminiscent of the press coverage before the 2000 title game with FSU. Hell, the Washington State coaching staff even tried to block our Schooner mascot from making the trip to Pasadena.

Well guess what? Not only did the Sooners prove they deserved to be in the Rose Bowl today, they did it with an exclamation point. Do you think OU's players and coaching staff took it personally? Hell yeah they did. Final score? OU - 34. Washington State - 14. OU's first-ever Rose Bowl trophy (from our first-ever Rose Bowl appearance) will be making its trip home to the Switzer Center in Norman, Oklahoma.

Is our 2002-03 football season really over? Congrats to the 2002-03 Sooner squad, all of the exiting seniors, and Rose Bowl MVP Nate Hybl. It's time to fire up the basketball calendar. March Madness will be here before ya' know it!

P.S. Hey Keith Jackson... Got seven?
posted at 08:30 PM | link--it | mail it | (30) shout it





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